If you’ve tried visualizing, journaling, affirmations, or “manifesting” your dream relationship, and you’re still attracting the same type of men or relationship pattern, this episode is for you.

In this episode, Shonda introduces a concept she calls The Belief Gap:

the space between what you want in love and what your nervous system and subconscious actually believe is safe and possible.

You’ll learn why manifestation doesn’t happen from desire alone, and how to gently close the gap between where you are and the relationship you want, without forcing belief or gaslighting yourself.

In This Episode, We Cover:

• Why manifesting love often feels frustrating or ineffective
• What The Belief Gap is and how it blocks real change
• Why your subconscious cares more about safety than desire
• The “CD player” metaphor for why affirmations get rejected
• The money analogy that explains why big desires bounce off the nervous system
• Why your ideal partner list isn’t the problem—it’s diagnostic
• How to turn desires into believable mantras that actually work
• Why belief is built incrementally (and why that’s enough)
• How closing the Belief Gap changes how you show up in dating

Podcast Episodes Mentioned: Episode 5 How to get what you want with "the list"

Ready for More Support?

If 2026 is the year you want to call in real love then come find me on Instagram and DM me the word CUSTOM and I’ll send you a personalized dating strategy video.

Want expert guidance on your love life? Book a free call to explore working with me right here!

Follow Shonda on Instagram and Tiktok for more inspo and dating advice.

If being single feels especially triggering for you (engagement announcements, weddings, breakups, or the pressure of feeling “behind,”) this episode is for you.

Today I'm breaking down a concept I teach all of my coaching clients: clean pain vs. dirty pain, and how confusing the two is what keeps so many women stuck in anxiety, shame, and dating spirals.

In this episode, we cover:

• The difference between clean pain and dirty pain, and why it matters
• Why seeing other people get engaged or married can send you into a spiral
• How your brain creates fear-based stories about your future without you realizing it
• Why breakups hurt more when you make them mean something about you
• A simple way to validate your feelings without letting them run your life
• How to stop dating from urgency, panic, or comparison
• What it looks like to return to dating from a grounded, confident place

This is a powerful mindset shift you can use anytime you feel triggered around being single, especially during the holidays.

And if you are ready to stop spiraling, regulate your nervous system, and date with intention in the new year, send me a DM on Instagram (@shondahowardlove) with the word CUSTOM and I’ll send you a personalized dating strategy.

Want expert guidance on your love life? Book a free call to explore working with me right here!

Follow Shonda on Instagram and Tiktok for more inspo and dating advice.

In this episode, I’m joined by marketing expert and single gal in Denver, Lindsay May, for a super honest convo about what it actually looks like to keep dating when you’re tired, triggered, or over the apps.

In this episode, we cover:

• How Lindsay healed from a toxic relationship and eased back into dating
• Why dating apps can feel so draining—and how to treat them as a neutral tool
• Meeting men in real life: pickleball, grocery stores, and being present
• The power of your presence and magnetic energy when you’re out in the world
• How to “market” yourself in your dating profile so it actually sounds like you
• Simple mindset shifts to keep you in the game without burning out

Connect with Lindsay on Instagram HERE

If you’re ready to stop attracting emotionally unavailable men and call in a secure, committed relationship 👉 Join my free masterclass “How to Stop Dating Emotionally Unavailable Men and Attract Your Soulmate in 6 Months.”

SIGN UP HERE.

Want expert guidance on your love life? Book a free call to explore working with me right here!

Follow Shonda on Instagram and Tiktok for more inspo and dating advice.