Have you ever escaped a narcissistic relationship, only to find yourself being pulled back in by family, friends or people you trusted?

In this episode of Strings Attached, we're uncovering one of the most painful and misunderstood aspects of narcissistic abuse: flying monkeys.

These aren't always malicious people. Sometimes they're parents, siblings, friends or relatives who unknowingly become extensions of the narcissist—passing on messages, applying guilt, gathering information or pressuring you to reconnect.

Through deeply personal stories and trauma-informed discussion, we explore why this betrayal cuts so deeply, how enabling family systems operate, and why protecting your emotional safety sometimes means accepting that someone isn't malicious... but they are unsafe.

If you've ever heard:
"Can't you just keep the peace?"
"They're really struggling without you."
"Why don't you just call them?"

...then this episode is for you.

• What "flying monkeys" really are
• Why narcissists recruit other people to do their work
• Flying monkeys in families, friendships and relationships
• The heartbreak of enabling parents
• Siblings who unknowingly become part of the abuse
• Why some flying monkeys don't even realise what they're doing
• Emotional safety vs good intentions
• How to identify who you can truly trust
• Building your own "Circle of Safety"
• Protecting your boundaries without guilt
• Why healing begins when you stop asking others to validate your reality

If you've experienced narcissistic abuse, coercive control, emotional manipulation, gaslighting, trauma bonding or family scapegoating, this conversation will help you understand that you're not imagining it—and you're certainly not alone.

We'd love to hear from you

Have you experienced a flying monkey in your own life?

Was it a parent, sibling, friend, colleague or someone you never expected?

Share your story in the comments or connect with our community.

Visit narcissistrecovery.com for recovery resources, practical tools and trauma-informed support.

Don't forget to follow the podcast, leave a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ review, and share this episode with someone who needs to hear that their experience is real.

Chapters

00:00 The Pain of Losing Connections

03:01 Understanding Flying Monkeys

06:11 Family Dynamics and Boundaries

08:57 The Grief of Broken Trust

11:49 Navigating Relationships with Siblings

15:05 The Role of Parents as Flying Monkeys

18:07 The Impact of Enabling Parents

21:02 Friends as Unwitting Flying Monkeys

24:01 The Challenge of Emotional Privacy

27:09 Establishing Safe Circles of Trust

29:52 Reframing Relationships for Healing