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Friends Can Tell

Friends Can Tell

Written by: On Our Radar
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About this listen

Real-life stories about toxic relationships from young women who stepped up to support their friends. If they face controlling behaviour in a relationship, young people are most likely to ask for help from a friend. In this series of candid conversations, young women meet for the first time to talk about how they overcame fear and self-doubt to keep a friend safe. This podcast is brought to you by the Friends Can Tell campaign. It was created in collaboration with its guests by On Our Radar, and produced by Chris Walter, Chloe Cheeseman and Sarah Cuddon, with thanks to Feast Collective.On Our Radar Relationships Social Sciences
Episodes
  • 4. “I’ve carried this burden that it was my fault”
    Jun 22 2022

    Friends Can Tell Episode Four. Two best friends share their experiences of supporting a friend through a toxic relationship. Sarah (21) explains the heartbreak and guilt she felt when a close friend became a ‘shell’ of herself due to abuse, while Labake (21) talks about the important listening role she played for a friend in a similar situation. Sarah and Labake also both reflect on relationships from the perspective of being Deaf, and how they are impacted by society’s prejudices and misunderstandings.

    Content warning: contains references to relationship abuse.

    Young people experience the highest rates of relationship abuse of any age group. When they experience toxic behaviour, a close friend is the person that young people are most likely to go to for help. The Friends Can Tell audio series features conversations about toxic relationships between young people who stepped up to support their friends.

    Highlights:

    Sarah and Labake talk about:

    • A friend turns toxic: Sarah regrets introducing her mutual friends [02:25]
    • Seeing the impact of abuse on a friend’s self-esteem [03:44]
    • The struggles of being a friend’s main support [05:40]
    • The things Sarah and Labake wish they’d known [07:44]
    • Toxic ex: how abuse continued after the breakup [09:55]
    • Dealing with society’s misunderstanding as a Deaf person [12:09]
    • Do adults understand what going on for young people right now? [13:54]

    Help and resources:

    The experiences Sarah and Labake share are their own personal stories and opinions. For advice on the safest ways you can help your friends and support the #FriendsCanTell campaign, check out the resources at https://yourbestfriend.org.uk/podcast.

    Transcript:

    Available at https://yourbestfriend.org.uk/podcast.

    Credits:

    This podcast is brought to you by the Friends Can Tell campaign. It was created in collaboration with its guests by On Our Radar, and produced by Chris Walter, Chloe Cheeseman and Sarah Cuddon, with thanks to Feast Collective.

    BSL-interpreted vodcasts of all episodes are also available on YouTube, thanks to film maker Will Hazell, editor Maria Pullicino, and accessibility support from the National Deaf Children’s Society and Diverse Signs.

    Feedback:

    Want to tell us what you think of the #FriendsCanTell campaign? Take our 2-minute survey: https://www.surveymonkey.co.uk/r/5V67W9Y

    Show More Show Less
    18 mins
  • 3. “Sometimes people can’t confide in the people that you can”
    Jun 22 2022

    Friends Can Tell Episode Three. Two girls speak for the first time to share their experiences of supporting friends in toxic relationships. Zoya (16) and Fatima (16) discuss which adults they could really trust to help, and talk about the major impacts that family, school and faith had on their friends’ tough situations.

    Content warning: this conversation contains references to relationship abuse and self-harm.

    Young people experience the highest rates of relationship abuse of any age group. When they experience toxic behaviour, a close friend is the person that young people are most likely to go to for help. The Friends Can Tell audio series features conversations about toxic relationships between young people who stepped up to save their friends.

    Highlights:

    Zoya and Fatima talk about:

    • A bridge to support: Zoya explains her calm response to a friend’s self-harm [02:05]
    • Online relationships: the highs and the dangers [05:30]
    • Talking to parents: benefits, risks, and cultural differences [06:37]
    • Gen Z and mental health [09:58]
    • Finding guidance and strength: from school, friends and religion [10:48]
    • The pressure to be in a relationship [12:06]

    Help and resources:

    The experiences Zoya and Fatima share are their own personal stories and opinions. For advice on the safest ways you can help your friends and support the #FriendsCanTell campaign, check out the resources at https://yourbestfriend.org.uk/podcast.

    Transcript:

    Available at https://yourbestfriend.org.uk/podcast.

    Credits:

    This podcast is brought to you by the Friends Can Tell campaign. It was created in collaboration with its guests by On Our Radar, and produced by Chris Walter, Chloe Cheeseman and Sarah Cuddon, with thanks to Feast Collective.

    BSL-interpreted vodcasts of all episodes are also available on YouTube, thanks to film maker Will Hazell, editor Maria Pullicino, and accessibility support from the National Deaf Children’s Society and Diverse Signs.

    Feedback:

    Want to tell us what you think of the #FriendsCanTell campaign? Take our 2-minute survey: https://www.surveymonkey.co.uk/r/5V67W9Y

    Show More Show Less
    16 mins
  • 2. "Too scared to leave"
    Jun 22 2022

    Friends Can Tell Episode Two. Olivia (21) and Sam (18) meet for the first time to tell their stories of having a close friend be threatened and abused by an older boyfriend. They chat about the lengths they went to in order to keep their friends safe, and how their friends, in turn, helped Olivia and Sam to escape some seriously toxic behaviour.

    Content warning: contains descriptions of relationship abuse and violence.

    Young people experience the highest rates of relationship abuse of any age group. When they experience toxic behaviour, a close friend is the person that young people are most likely to go to for help. The Friends Can Tell audio series features conversations about toxic relationships between young people who stepped up to support their friends.

    Highlights:

    Olivia and Sam talk about:

    • Alcohol, gifts, and put-downs: manipulation by older boyfriends [01:58]
    • The shocking behaviours that push someone to defend a friend [06:41]
    • Being called ‘frigid’ and dealing with sexual pressure [08:32]
    • Scared to leave: Olivia talks about how a friend helped her to cope [1-:30]
    • Getting happy again: life after a toxic relationship [13:28]

    Help and resources:

    The experiences Sam and Olivia share are their own personal stories and opinions. For advice on the safest ways you can help your friends and support the #FriendsCanTell campaign, check out the resources at https://yourbestfriend.org.uk/podcast.

    Transcript:  

    Available at https://yourbestfriend.org.uk/podcast.

    Credits:

    This podcast is brought to you by the Friends Can Tell campaign. It was created in collaboration with its guests by On Our Radar, and produced by Chris Walter, Chloe Cheeseman and Sarah Cuddon, with thanks to Feast Collective.

    BSL-interpreted vodcasts of all episodes are also available on YouTube, thanks to film maker Will Hazell, editor Maria Pullicino, and accessibility support from the National Deaf Children’s Society and Diverse Signs.

    Feedback:

    Want to tell us what you think of the #FriendsCanTell campaign? Take our 2-minute survey: https://www.surveymonkey.co.uk/r/5V67W9Y

    Show More Show Less
    16 mins
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