Episodes

  • Gay Kitchen Table Talk: Episode 44

    Gay Kitchen Table Talk: Episode 44
    Feb 1 2026

    Rainbow sidewalks in Texas, transphobia in the gay community, cigars in the leather scene and upcoming events.

    DAILY MEME: The more we practice empathy to get better we get at it – Renee Hebert

    * Heard on the Throwing Light Podcast by Louis Toliver Jr

    * Listening without judgment, observing nonverbal cues.

    * Putting yourself in others shoes, trying to learn about people different from you

    * Developing self-awareness, identify and question your own biases – blind spots

    Check In:

    * TestDrivenTV – Dodge Charger Scat Pack

    * New threads for video, casual but nice – push and pull with my husband who has a different style template.

    * Dermatologist – Actinic Keratosis

    Good News: Rainbow Sidewalks

    * The city of San Antonio is replacing the now banned rainbow crosswalks in the Pride Cultural Heritage District with new rainbow sidewalks.

    * On both sides of North Main Street 6-foot wide rainbow flag striping will color sidewalks entire length of the “gay strip” in downtown.

    * Chevron designs at the corners emulate the modern progress pride flag.

    * Then entire $170,000 tab is being taken up by the city.

    * This strategy overcomes the Texas state and Federal policy attacks that have forced the removal of rainbow cross walks. They won’t be able to take this rainbow away.

    Social: Transphobia In The LGBTQ+ Community

    * Even in our own community transgender people are othered

    * Even in our own community transgender people are excluded

    * Even in our own community transgender people are blamed

    * Transgender, bisexual and non-binary people are all part of our family

    Leather Season: Cigars and Leather

    * Baked in the DNA of the leather and fetish genre

    * Tom of Finland Art influence or influenced?

    * Often part of the role play and role responsibilities in D/s relationships

    Event: Smokeout 2026 Las Vegas

    Self described as “a fun-filled, uncomplicated weekend in Las Vegas for cigar and pipe studs, bikers, leathermen, bears and friends from all over the world, with time to gamble, shop, be a tourist, enjoy a show, attend events or relax by the pools and have a great time!

    * Wednesday through Monday at the Tuscany Suites Resort and Casino

    * Special room rates for registered participants

    * Vendors

    * Smoking Lounge

    * Private pool and playroom spaces

    * Barbershop and bootblack

    * Dinners and socials

    * Motorcycle ride and offsite opportunities

    * Event registration $60 ahead of time, $ 80 at the door

    Event Save The Date: No Kings III – March 28

    As always you can click on the EVENTS tab at our website growingoldergay.com for LGBTQ gatherings nationwide all year long. If you have an event you would like featured in our event calendar or even here on the podcast, send an email with the details to sam@growingolderday.com

    Viewer Comments: “I agree with you about Tesla “

    * Revisiting the Tesla Comments from last week

    * Have a sense of humor



    This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit growingoldergay.substack.com
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    29 mins
  • Kitchen Table Talk: Episode 43

    Kitchen Table Talk: Episode 43
    Jan 25 2026

    Out of pocket costs for monthly PrEP and DoxyPEP, the “Travel Ho” phenomenon, measuring self worth in the social media age.

    Check us out now on Amazon Podcasts and iHeart Radio Podcasts!

    DAILY MEME: I am not what I own

    * My value as a person is not in my material possessions

    * My standing in the world is not of my financial wealth

    * My happiness and self worth is directly proportionate to my of love for myself and others

    Check In: Weekend in Palm Springs / Cathedral City

    * Shopping for leather in Palm Springs

    * Stay downtown at the Motel 6 – center of the “tweakerverse”

    * Stay at CCBC and fun times

    * Beautiful facility upgraded in recent years

    * Family like service

    Social: Lowered inhibitions when out of town “Travel Hos”

    * When away we tend to be bigger sluts than at home

    * Keeping up appearances professional and social

    * Fresh meat on the apps

    * Foot loose and fancy free

    Health: Paying cash for PrEP / DoxyPEP

    * Expiration of Obamacare funding has left many without coverage – renewals for marketplace down over 40% going into 2026,

    * HHS cuts have lowered or eliminated availability for support programs that have traditionally covered HIV prevention, testing, and medications.

    * Still some support programs available depending on location.

    * Out of pocket options exist for PrEP and DoxyPEP.

    * Generic Truvada $30 a month

    * Doxycycline $15-30 a month

    Viewer/Listener Comments: Is PrEP Safe?

    First, I am not a doctor and I am not giving medical advice. The following is my own experience and factual information available with a little research.

    * In a word, Yes PrEP is safe. It’s certainly safer than having HIV

    * High efficacy. When taken properly, oral PrEP reduces HIV risk by about 99%.

    * Well tolerated by most.

    * Prescriptions require regular testing and monitoring including kidney and liver health and testing for HIV and other STIs

    * Common concerns include kidney function and bone density as older formulations of Truvada could affect kidneys and bone density in rare cases. Newer options like Descovy and injections like Apretude are less of an issue.

    Leather Season:

    * Congratulations Gage Ryder Mr. Mid-Atlantic Leather 2026

    * Congratulations Brian Hettler Mr. LA Leather Bear 2026

    * IML Rules Change

    * Raises the bar for eligibility with more stringent vetting guidelines

    * Can only compete one year

    * Seeks to keep class size at 50 starting in 2027

    Event: CLAW 2026 – April 2-5, 2026 Columbus OH

    * Cleveland Leather Awareness Weekend – Columbus

    * 2,000+ Leather Men, 2 BDSM Dungeons, 118 Booth VendorMart

    * 150+ Classes and Workshops

    * Kink Socials & Mixers

    * More

    * Hotel 80% full Hyatt Regency Columbus, OH

    * Must register for event to stay at host hotel

    Event Save The Date: Desert Smoke Palm Springs – June 5-7, 2026

    * Palm Springs Leather Order Of The Desert

    * Cigar weekend social and play

    As always you can click on the EVENTS tab at our website for LGBTQ gatherings nationwide all year long. If you have an event you would like featured in our event calendar or even here on the podcast, send an email with the details to sam@growingolderday.com



    This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit growingoldergay.substack.com
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    33 mins
  • Kitchen Table Talk: Episode 42

    Kitchen Table Talk: Episode 42
    Jan 18 2026

    Kitchen Table Episode 42 – 01/18/2026

    Making a hard won life count, gay ageism, sexy James Franco miniseries, Mr Eagle LA Leather Wyatt Heath and upcoming LGBTQ+ events.

    Our episode today is recorded well in advance of post day because my husband and I are actually on a getaway weekend to Palm Springs and Los Angeles to do some leather shopping and take in some local flavor at some of the one of the gay men’s play spots. If you see us out and about please come up and say hello!

    Because of this, if the world ended or some big topical news story has hit since this was recorded earlier in the week that needed due attention, I apologize in advance for not talking about it now.

    DAILY MEME: There is a cost to honoring yourself. Make it count.

    * Live the life you have always wanted

    * Explore your world, yourself, your people – challenge your box

    * Do what they have always tried to keep you from doing

    * Invest in yourself – education, health, spirituality, finances

    Social: Navigating Ageism

    Ageism is a process of systematic stereotyping and discrimination against people because of their age – mostly to those older in years.

    * Ageism in the dating / hookup scene / sex

    * invisible

    * rockstar syndrome

    * Ageism in the workplace / career

    * promotions / positioning

    * job searches

    * Ageism in the social experience

    * how you are treated

    * included/excluded

    * Setting expectations / acceptance / self sorting

    * understanding

    * acceptance

    Bingeable TV: 11/22/63 Miniseries – Hulu / Netflix

    * James Franco stars in 11/22/63, an eight episode miniseries based on the Stephen King novel of the same name.

    * An English teacher goes back in time to try and prevent the assassination of JFK

    * The eight episode series twists and turns as Franco’s character attempts to rewrite the past and finds that the past tends to fight back

    * Good story line, time and culture representation of 1960’s Texas, lots of classic cars.

    Leather Season: Contests and Congratulations!

    * Congratulations Wyatt Heath for winning Mr. Eagle Leather LA 2026

    * Bartender at Bullet Bar North Hollywood

    * “I’m humbled to have the life I have today. Just over two years ago, I wasn’t sure I’d make it through addiction But today, all the hardwork I put in, all the faith and love my parents and brother have and had in me, and the love of so many men who refused to give up on me has paid off. I truly am living a life that was promised me in so many different sobrieties…a life beyond my wildest dreams. - Facebook“

    * Mid Atlantic Leather contest this weekend

    * Mr LA Leather Bear contest this weekend

    Event: Austin Kink Weekend – April 16-19

    * Mr./Ms/Mx Texas Leather, Texas Bootblack, + more

    * Workshops, vendors, special events and parties

    * Run Passes $125 – 175 on sale now

    * Holiday Inn Mid-Town Austin

    Event Save The Date: Vallarta Pride

    La nueva era

    * un pride muy mexicano

    * 17 al 24 mayo

    As always you can click on the EVENTS tab at our website growingoldergay.com for LGBTQ gatherings nationwide all year long. If you have an event you would like featured in our event calendar or even here on the podcast, send an email with the details to sam@growingolderday.com

    End Plugs:

    Thanks to GayPHX for including re-broadcasts our podcast weekly on their streaming radio station every Monday in the 10:00 hour. You can hear lots of local voices, entertainment, news and music 24 hours a day at GayPHX.com

    * Our website: growingoldergay.com

    * Our social media

    * Podcast now on Spotify, Substack and Apple Podcasts in addition to YouTube!



    This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit growingoldergay.substack.com
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    29 mins
  • Kitchen Table Talk: Episode 41

    Kitchen Table Talk: Episode 41
    Jan 11 2026
    Honoring fallen family Renee Good, inspiration from Martin Sheen, supporting ACLU, horn sound for Living Sober Roundup San Francisco this summer!DAILY MEME: We deserve the care of our government.* Remembering that our government exists to protect the well being of all of us* Our leaders must have empathy for others, be trustworthy, be honest* Each one of us must actively participate in shaping our government from top to bottomHonoring Renee Nicole Good – from the AdvocateAn American citizen, Renee Nicole Good was many things — a wife, mother, poet, singer, devoted Christian, and “extremely compassionate” human being.Good had a wife and three children — a 15-year-old and 12-year-old from her first marriage, and a 6-year-old from her second marriageRenee Good was a poet with a passion for singing. Good described herself in her Instagram bio, which featured an LGBTQ+ Pride flag, as a “poet and writer and wife and mom and shitty guitar strummer from Colorado; experiencing Minneapolis, MN.”Good’s ex-husband that she was a devoted Christian who had taken part in mission trips to Northern Ireland in her youth and participated in a choir during high school. Her love of singing would lead her to study vocal performance in college, though writing was her ultimate passion.Good graduated in December 2020 from Old Dominion University in Virginia with a degree in English, and won an award the same year for one of her works.“This is yet another clear example that fear and violence have sadly become commonplace in our nation,” ODU President Brian O. Hemphill said in a statement. “Indeed, this tragedy reflects the deep strain being felt in countless communities across our nation. As citizens, it is our duty and right to call upon leaders and officials to restore civility in all facets of our lives, especially at the hands of those who are entrusted to protect and serve.”“May Renee’s life be a reminder of what unites us: freedom, love, and peace,” he continued. “My hope is for compassion, healing, and reflection at a time that is becoming one of the darkest and most uncertain periods in our nation’s history.”Action we can all take: MyACLU.orgThe American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) has been fighting in court and in the headlines for our civil rights and the rule of law for over 100 years. While often being cast by the right as a force if bleeding heart liberals, over their history have fought for everyone. “We The People means everyone”.In our current regime they have been a vital force in fighting back against the many countless unconstitutional, immoral, and inhumane actions that have been coming at us by our government. They have been suing in court and winning for us. They are the ones in the trenches, the ones appealing for us, the ones standing before the supreme court voicing our case.They have been much the push-back leading all the way up to the supreme court for LGBTQ rights that have been taken, the actions to harm our community, and the directives to erase us. They have also been on several of the other fronts including immigration, law enforcement over reach, and voting rights among others. They are the tip of the spear for us that we ourselves cannotThis takes money. While there are many big donors, there is a way that you and I can help on our own level. We can support the ACLU by donating and becoming a monthly supporter. At their website there are multiple options starting as low as $19 a month.I have started my own monthly donation and I encourage all who hold our rights dear and support what the ACLU does for us to put your dollars in the bowl too. We need them, and they need our help too.Inspiration: Martin Sheen PodcastMost of us remember actor Martin Sheen in modern times from his many seasons as President Bartlett on The West Wing. His acting career spans several decades in movies, television and in the theater. His four children are also well known in popular culture all for their own works and their own stories.He is an avid activist as well over the decades, a spiritual person and one who brings a wealth of wisdom that has come through in the work we have seen on screen. Martin Sheen now brings his talents to a special podcast presentation as he shares never before heard stories of his life, personal reflections and poetry that inspires.“I think it’s important you know that I have no intention of leaving who I am at the door with this podcast. Anyone who knows me knows I cannot tell a personal story that doesn’t have some social justice connection at its core. I have my convictions, and issues that draw on my empathy and compassion. Frankly, it is what drives and informs my conscience and makes me who I am. How could I bring any less to this endeavor?”— Martin SheenEvent: Western Roundup Living Sober - July 10-12, 2026 - San Francisco, CAIn the San Francisco Castro district the longest running LGBTQ sobriety conference celebrates 50 years with ...
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    16 mins
  • Kitchen Table Talk: Episode 40

    Kitchen Table Talk: Episode 40
    Jan 4 2026
    Today we have some good wisdom from Pete Buttigieg on the way forward into 2026, the deets on a live on tracker for anti-LGBTQ+ laws in the works in your home state, a Latino Pride event coming up soon in Arizona, and how we can protect ourselves from HPV and the cancers it can cause.DAILY MEME: Hope is the consequence of action more than its cause - Pete Buttigieg* Time to get busy to put a stop to the destruction of our country and way of life* Get involved locally and be a part of the cause to stop, replace, and rebuild* Electing Democrats this fall is our number 1 priority. A majority in Congress is our best chance and putting the brakes on the Red Hat agenda.Great Red Hat Shit Show: LGBTQ+ Legislative Tracking 2026 - LGBTQ+ Legislation AlertsFollowing up on our daily meme and it’s message all of us can keep tabs on what’s happening in our own backyards relative to legislation that can affect our community directly on the local level.There are a number of states in particular where the legislators and governors are hellbent to take advantage of their majorities and their perceived permission structure from the folks to attack LGBTQ+ rights, healthcare, and over social safety net programs.LGBTQ+ Legislative Research Group which is an independent group of LGBTQ+ researchers, journalists, and activists has assembled a live tracker of active legislation in play in various states that can inform you on what’s in the works locally, so you can be informed and take action.You can log onto their website at legialerts.org and follow the links to find the live Google Docs that are updated daily on the status of pending bills, across the country in your home state. First I want to thank them for their hard work, and thank you for using it to take action where needed.There website is on the screen if you’re watching us on YouTube, and can be found in the show notes wherever else you might be listening.Health: HPV Vaccine Important Consideration For Sexually Active Gay MenFor those of us who are sexually active regardless of sexual identity, the human papilloma virus (HPV) is not only very common, but can present a significant health risk. HPV is known for being the primary cause of genital warts and several types of cancer, including cervical, anal, vulvar, vaginal, penile and oropharyngeal (throat), which includes cancer of the tonsils and back of the tongue.Nearly 80% of men and women get HPV at some point in our lives, mainly through intimate contact.For men having sex with men, HPV presents an elevated risk because of the nature and mechanics of our sexual contact. Those of us living with HIV and/or who have multiple sex partners are at an even higher risk of contracting HPV and its associated cancers.The good news is that there is an available vaccine that is highly effective to protect against HPV and its ability to cause cancers. Today is is routine to give children and teenagers, even young adults the HPV vaccine. Most of us who are older than 30 may not have been given the vaccine as a normal routine and must opt in.Young persons ages 13-26 who have not been vaccinated require 2 or 3 doses depending on age according to the CDC. If you are 27 45 you may discuss your risk factors with your healthcare provider to see if vaccination is the right option in which case most insurance will cover the medication and administration doses. If however you are over 45, most sources will tell you the vaccine is not recommended because we have already most likely been exposed to the virus at some point.If however we are over 45 and have a compelling risk model like high sexual activity with multiple partners a provider may be willing to prescribe the vaccine. Most health insurance however will not cover it at over age 45, and it has to be paid for out of pocket.It’s pretty expensive, ranging from about $200-400 per dosage, of which about three are required over a six month period. That means one has to want it bad enough to be able to pay $600-1200 for it.As always, I recommend you talk to your medical provider and share with them your concerns and your risk factors and get their advice. I am not a doctor and I am not giving medical advice, just sharing about options available to us to protect ourselves.Event: Tucson Latino Pride Festival – Saturday, March 7th 2026 - Lpfaz.comLatino Pride Alliance is gearing up for their 2nd Annual Latino Pride Festival in Tuscon with the date coming up fast on Saturday, March 7th. The community gathering and celebration of LGBTQ friends and allies takes place at the MSA Annex near downtown Tucson at 267 South Avenida del Convento.The celebration from 2-10 pm includes entertainment, vendor booths, community outreach and plenty of fun. Full information can be found and tickets are on sale now at their website lpfaz.comAs always you can scan our nationwide events calendar at our website growingoldergay.com and click on the EVENTS tab. If you have an event you would like ...
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    16 mins
  • Kitchen Table Talk: Episode 39

    Kitchen Table Talk: Episode 39
    Dec 27 2025

    Rounding out the year the passing of a dear friend just before Christmas is top of mind, the hit gay-centric TV show Heated Rivalry is binged hard, and the high point blessings of 2025 that came in spite of the Great Red Hat Shit Show are counted.

    DAILY MEME: Keep Them As A Flower Inside You – Martha P. Johnson

    * Memorializing loved ones in our heart

    2025 High Points

    * Experienced love felt for others and given to me

    * I cried in happiness and in sadness – getting in touch

    * LGBTQ+ monument in PS

    * New connections with community, new friends, reconnected with family

    * Job growth as a result of educational work and willingness to change course

    * Found deeper purpose in work and community

    * Moved to a new home due to work

    * Hope for future in spite of the Great Red Hat Shit Show.

    Heated Rivalry on Max (Hulu and Prime with upgrades)

    * Heated Rivalry is a Canadian sports romance written, and directed by Jacob Tierney.

    * Follows the stories of two different romances between male hockey players.

    * The main story follows professional hockey players Shane Hollander (Hudson Williams) and Ilya Rozanov (Connor Storrie) who are fierce rivals on ice but fall into a high energy casual sex relationship off the ice when their paths cross.

    * The story evolves over the years as their relationship becomes something more and the challenges of secrecy, feelings and tension increases.

    * A second story line of hockey player Scott Hunter played (François Arnaud) and a barista he falls in love with Christopher “Kip” Grady (Robbie G.K) is introduced in parallel that burns with deep love and the challenges of keeping it all secret in the professional spotlight.

    * The season finale ends with Hunter winning the season championship and coming out publicly by inviting his secret love down to the ice for a passionate kiss and embrace to a stadium of cheer. Hollander and Rozanov watching from afar are texting one another in shock, empowered to continue their own romance.

    * Heated Rivalry is officially renewed for Season 2 which will depict the continuing relationship of Hollander and Rozanov a decade later and the continued challenges they have with secrecy and its tension. Release is tentatively set for 2027.

    Find everything on our website: growingoldergay.com

    Now On Spotify, Substack and Apple Podcasts in addition to YouTube!



    This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit growingoldergay.substack.com
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    21 mins
  • Kitchen Table Talk: Episode 38

    Kitchen Table Talk: Episode 38
    Dec 20 2025

    At the table this week we talk strategies to fight off winter doldrums, the big BeefDip Bear Week in Mexico next month, PrEP on demand regime and hanging out with GayPHX.com

    DAILY MEME: Good insurance against the winter blues is a renewed commitment to social connection

    * Avoid isolation by getting out - movie, or dinner, take a walk.

    * Inviting friends or family over for dinner, movie or card night.

    * Go to meetings or gatherings, a craft class, club events.

    * Get out to the gym in the evenings.

    GayPHX.com Podcast and streaming radio station

    * I recently sat for an hour long interview for the GayPHX Podcast about GrowingOlderGay.

    * Community spotlight, local businesses, personalities and groups.

    * Calendar of events at venues.

    * Podcast and streaming radio station, social media.

    Sexual Health: PrEP 2-1-1 – The On Demand Option

    PrEP 2-1-1 is strategically taking Truvada around the times when you have sex, instead of every day.

    * PrEP 2-1-1 is good for when you can plan ahead for sex and/or are having sex less frequently. If you’re having sex once a week or less, then PrEP 2-1-1 may be easier to use (and less expensive) than daily PrEP.

    * PrEP 2-1-1 requires more attentiveness to timing the doses of Truvada.

    * Following the numbers (2-1-1), take two pills together 24 to 2 hours before anticipated sex, take one pill 24 hours after the first two, and then take one more pill 24 hours after that. Take your doses as close to the same time each day as possible.

    * If you have sex more than once over more than one day, take two daily doses after the last time you had sex.

    * Only Truvada has been studied as 2-1-1, so do not use this dosing strategy with Descovy.

    * See your provider to see if PrEP 2-1-1 is an option for you.

    * Thank you to San Francisco AIDS foundation for this information.

    Puerto Vallarta BeefDip Bear Week 2026 – Jan 25 to Feb 1 -

    BeefDip Bear Week is one of the most attended and longest running leather & bear events in the world. It is held in Puerto Vallarta every year between the last weekend of January and the first weekend of February.

    * Full week of pool and dance parties around Puerto Vallarta.

    * Daytime excursions, play parties, cinner events, and a cruise.

    * Bears, bears, bears.

    * Your BeefDip Dog Tag includes ALL of the official club/night parties and ALL of the official day/pool parties.

    Find everything on our website: growingoldergay.com

    Now On Spotify, Substack and Apple Podcasts in addition to YouTube!



    This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit growingoldergay.substack.com
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    16 mins
  • Kitchen Table Talk: Episode 37

    Kitchen Table Talk: Episode 37
    Dec 13 2025

    Our weekly episode is talking about bringing our LGBTQ+ chosen family in for the holidays, a tour of our new studio, the journey of moving to a new home, and ticket packages for International Mr. Leather 2026 are now on sale.

    DAILY MEME: Make a special effort to support the LGBTQ+ members of our local community.

    Holidays are a tough time for many early in their queer journey.

    Support local holiday events - bring your joy, your energy and abundance to them.

    Host a gathering, invite those who may be alone out or to your home.

    Show someone who might need a lift the meaning of chosen family.

    Housekeeping: Just Moved because work changed

    Off for two weeks over Thanksgiving Holiday.

    New townhouse style apartment.

    New studio that is subject to change, dinner table, and more.

    Tour and explanation of evolution.

    Coming to you soon with more including interviews and special guests.

    Body Fatigue – Three story

    The work of moving hasn’t gotten any easier.

    Five days of climbing three floors of stairs killed us.

    Took a week to recover physically from strains, pains and fatigue.

    Older bodies need rest and a pause.

    International Mr. Leather Packages Now On Sale – May 21-25, 2026 – Chicago

    The big leather event of the year over Memorial Day Weekend.

    Early Access Pricing on Event ticket packages on sale now.

    Early Access Pricing ends 2/1/26.

    Hotel reservations at Congress Plaza Hotel open now.

    Find everything on our website: growingoldergay.com

    Now On Spotify, Substack and Apple Podcasts in addition to YouTube!



    This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit growingoldergay.substack.com
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    16 mins