What does it actually mean to be emotionally available, beyond the Instagram buzzwords and therapy speak?

In this episode, I break down emotional availability from a grounded, real-life perspective, especially within gay and queer dating dynamics. Because being “nice,” “loving,” or “spiritual” does not automatically mean you’re emotionally available.

As a gay relationship coach, RTT practitioner, and someone who has been emotionally unavailable (and dated emotionally unavailable men), I talk about:

• What emotional availability really looks like in practice

• The green flags most people overlook

• The hidden ways emotional unavailability shows up (even when you think you’re healed)

• How trauma, shame, and attachment wounds shape our dating patterns

This episode isn’t about blaming or labeling anyone. Emotional unavailability is usually a wound, not a personality flaw. But untreated wounds will sabotage intimacy.

If you’ve ever wondered:

• “Am I emotionally available or just emotionally intense?”

• “Why do I keep attracting unavailable partners?”

• “Is emotional unavailability always a deal breaker?”

This conversation will give you clarity and probably challenge you in the best way.

🎧 Listen now and if this resonates, check out my related article:
https://rainbowjourney.co/post/what-does-it-mean-to-be-emotionally-available

and my earlier episode about "Why Do We Fall for The Unavailable?": https://open.spotify.com/episode/2XBifXfTjP3vJKH3fyxpd0?si=0bWJ2ohqTByJjlaXaOj5eg

To book a free clarity call with me or be my next guest, visit my website: rainbowjourney.co

Feeling stuck, burnt out, or like you’ve lost your sparkle after heartbreak?

This week on Ghosted, Gagged, and Gay, Lonay sits down with Erica Wiederlight, renowned confidence coach, speaker, and host of the top-rated podcast Welcome To The Wiederlife.

Together, they explore how confidence, self-love, and pleasure can completely transform your queer dating experience, and help you break free from toxic patterns.

You’ll discover:

• The biggest obstacles queer folks face when it comes to confidence in dating
• Practical steps to rebuild self-love after ghosting, rejection, or heartbreak
• How to reconnect with your body and desires (even if you’ve felt shame or disconnect)
• Real ways to recognize burnout and set healthy boundaries
• How perfectionism shows up in queer dating, and how to shift toward authentic pleasure
• One small confidence-boosting practice you can start today

Erica’s work has been featured in Cosmopolitan, Galore, and NYFW. She offers a free book, From Perfectionist to Pleasure Expert, and a free 60-minute Mojo Makeover coaching session.

Ready to go from dusty to radiant?
Connect with Erica: www.wethelight.org | @wethelight_llc
Book your free Mojo Makeover: https://wethelightschedule.as.me/
Free book: https://www.wethelight.org/subscribe

Ready to transform your love story? Book a free call with Lonay: https://rainbowjourney.co/book-a-call

Other links and resources: ⁠https://linktr.ee/radiantheartsjourney⁠

In this powerful episode of Ghosted, Gagged and Gay, Lonay is joined by award‑winning writer, educator, and media critic Dr. Jonathan Paul Higgins (Doctor Jon Paul) for a conversation at the intersection of Blackness, queerness, fatness, and love. Together, they explore what liberated, affirming love can look like for Black queer folks in a world that constantly tells them to shrink.

From visibility and body politics to media representation and self-worth, this episode goes deep into how identity shapes our dating lives, our relationships, and what we believe we deserve.

You’ll hear Dr. Jon Paul share:

• How being visibly Black, fat, and femme impacts dating and relationships
• The harm of feeling “too much” or “not enough” in queer love
• How media representation shapes who we think we can love—and who can love us
• Practical ways to support and uplift Black queer folks beyond performative allyship
• Why self-love and liberation are essential to building healthy, lasting relationships

If you’ve ever felt unseen, unworthy, or “too queer” for love, this conversation is for you.

🔗 Connect with Dr. Jon Paul:
Website: DoctorJonPaul.com
Instagram: @DoctorJonPaul

✨ If you’re ready to break toxic patterns and call in the love you actually deserve, you can book a free call with Lonay— Click Here