In this episode, Mike O’Connell joins Pete Waggoner for a deeply insightful conversation about monuments.

They explore why headstones matter, how design choices tell a story, and what most families don’t know about the planning process. From costs to colors, Mike shares decades of wisdom to help you approach monument decisions with care and creativity.

Whether you’re preplanning or honoring a loved one, this episode will help you understand the value behind these lasting tributes—and how to avoid common mistakes.

Episode Highlights (Timestamps):

• [00:01:00] Why cemeteries are peaceful places for reflection

• [00:02:00] Partnering with Melgard Monument for creative, affordable designs

• [00:04:00] Understanding size limitations, layouts, and regulations

• [00:06:00] Granite types, color families, and weather durability

• [00:08:00] Rules about markers vs. upright monuments

• [00:10:00] One cost includes installation, engraving, delivery, and more

• [00:11:00] Companion vs. single monuments and modern trends

• [00:13:00] Clip art, symbols, etchings, and personalizing a monument

• [00:16:00] The permanence of engraving—and how to avoid errors

• [00:22:00] Polished finishes, contracts, and sign-offs

• [00:26:00] Flower vases, solar lights, and weather risks

• [00:28:00] Cleaning and caring for your monument (toilet bowl cleaner, really!)

• [00:30:00] Resetting and cemetery liability

Takeaways:

• Monument design is an extension of storytelling—your legacy in stone.
  

• One size doesn’t fit all. Style, size, and cemetery rules matter.
  

• Mistakes in engraving are permanent—always double-check before signing.
  

• Trust funds and prepaying can simplify everything for your family.
  

• Adding personal artwork, quotes, or symbols captures who someone really was.
  

Memorable Quotes from Mike O’Connell:

• “If it can be drawn, it can be blasted.”

• “You bought it. It’s yours. The care and cleaning of the monument belongs to the family.”

• “We’re not just marking a grave, we’re honoring a life.”

This heartfelt episode features a candid conversation between Mike and Emma O’Connell, father-daughter members of O’Connell Family Funeral Homes, as they reflect on legacy, loss, and growing up in a family funeral home.

From prom pranks to life-shaping grief experiences, they share the emotional realities and quiet joys that come with serving others in their most tender moments.

Episode Highlights (Timestamps):

• 00:01:00 – The rich family history behind OCFH

• 00:03:00 – How funeral homes evolved from furniture makers

• 00:06:30 – The threat of corporate consolidation in funeral care

• 00:08:00 – Emma’s winding journey to joining the family business

• 00:10:55 – Memories of growing up around the funeral home

• 00:14:30 – Mike’s pride in watching Emma comfort grieving families

• 00:16:30 – Childhood stories (yes, a scooter crash is involved)

• 00:27:00 – Honoring a Pearl Harbor veteran

• 00:32:00 – How grief changed Mike after his brother’s death

• 00:35:00 – Emma’s personal take on compassion and legacy

• 00:41:30 – The values Emma hopes to pass on to the next generation

Takeaways:

• Funeral service is not just a profession, it’s a calling.

• Legacy is built one story, one act of service, and one person at a time.

• Grief, when met with community and compassion, can shape a life of meaning.

• The little moments, like scooter crashes or meatball dinners, often leave the deepest marks.

• Family-run funeral homes offer a level of personal care that corporate chains cannot replicate.

Memorable Quotes

Emma O’Connell:

• You never know what someone’s going through. That’s why compassion matters.

• Grief doesn’t scare me, it unites people.

• My job is to offer comfort in the storm.

• Church basement dinners? A core memory!

A single sentence can haunt a family for years. “Just cremate me and throw me out back.”

It’s said casually, often meant with humility, but can create lasting pain and confusion for those left behind.

In this heartfelt episode, funeral director Mike O’Connell opens up about why these words are his “kryptonite,” the emotional cost of skipping a ceremony, and how reframing our final wishes can become a lasting gift to our loved ones.

Episode Breakdown: What You’ll Hear

[00:00] The phrase that breaks Mike’s heart: “Just cremate me and throw me out back.”

[01:00] Why this statement—though humble—can create guilt, regret, and long-term pain for families.

[02:30] The emotional burden of “no service” requests and what it denies the living. [04:00] How the absence of a funeral can delay grief or deepen suffering.

[06:00] Cultural avoidance of death and how COVID intensified the trend of delaying or skipping ceremonies.

[08:00] The invisible toll of unresolved grief: isolation, anxiety, anger, and even substance abuse.

[10:00] When shame, regret, or feeling “unworthy” make us avoid being honored.

[12:00] How to reframe funerals as a gift—not a burden.

[14:00] Simple services can still be deeply meaningful—and allow loved ones to begin healing.

[16:00] The final act of love: granting your family permission to remember you in the way they need.

[18:00] “People don’t go because someone died. They go because someone lived.”

Quotes

“The funeral isn’t the burden - the death is.” —Mike O’Connell
“Give your family the gift of time to gather, to cry, to laugh, and to begin healing.”
“You don’t grieve a body. You grieve a life - shared moments, laughter, even the hard times.”

Resources

• Mike O’Connell’s Bio Page