This episode is for anyone who's ever felt like they're not allowed to grieve because someone else has it worse, or who's struggling to let go of the person they used to be.

More info, resources & ways to connect - https://www.tacosfallapart.com/podcast-live-show/podcast-guests/victoriawaye

VictoriaWaye started streaming Minecraft on a dare from a friend and built a following around the simple message: it's okay to be a dork. But her journey took her somewhere deeper when she realized she had something more meaningful to share.

Victoria lost both her parents when she was nine years old. The grief hit her immediately and hard. She cried through their funeral and even sang at the service. Her younger sister had a completely different reaction. She sat stone-faced and seemed unaffected. Years later that suppressed grief erupted into self-harm and suicide attempts. The sisters handled the same loss in totally opposite ways and it drove them apart for years.

What made things harder was that Victoria's aunts told her to "close the book" just three months after her parents died. At nine years old she was expected to get over it and move on. She wasn't allowed to grieve so she channeled everything into roller skating nine hours a week. The processing she needed got buried under activity and expectations.

Victoria's sister eventually studied psychology and became a nurse. She apologized for blaming Victoria and transformed her pain into a drive to help others. Now, their relationship is not perfect, but they've rebuilt something real.

Victoria's work now focuses on a truth most people don't talk about: grief comes in many forms. Yes... we grieve death... but we also grieve lost jobs, ended relationships, missed opportunities and versions of ourselves we used to be. She talks openly about mourning the person she was at 19 when everything felt easier and her sense of style was "on fleek." Learning to let go of past versions of yourself is its own kind of loss.

One thing Victoria emphasizes is the danger of comparative suffering. People tell themselves they're not allowed to feel bad because someone else has it worse. But grief doesn't work that way. You can't only be happy when you're the happiest person alive so why would you only allow yourself to grieve when you have the worst loss? Your feelings are valid regardless of what anyone else is experiencing.

She also pushes back hard on the idea that content creators are therapists. Setting boundaries matters whether you're streaming to thousands or just talking to friends. Before dumping your problems on someone ask if they have the capacity to hear it. Real friendship means respecting that sometimes the answer is no.

Victoria's advice for anyone struggling with loss right now is to find people who lift you up. Stop comparing your grief to others. Celebrate small wins even if that win is just getting out of bed. And remember that everything is temporary including pain.

Her story proves that you can stand in the darkness and still find your way to the light. Where you are right now doesn't have to be where you stay.