In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie sits down with Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck, a therapist, trauma survivor, and author of Betrayal Trauma Anger: You’re Not Crazy, You’re Angry, and You Should Be. They explore a topic that is often misunderstood and shamed: the intense and very normal anger experienced by betrayed partners after betrayal.

For too long, the clinical field has labeled this anger as “vengeful” or “unforgiving.” Crystal helps us flip that narrative, showing why anger is a natural, healthy response to the profound injustice of betrayal and an important part of the healing journey.

In this episode, you will hear about:

• Why anger is a natural response and how betrayal creates deep emotional and nervous system reactions
• The S.C.I.P. Protocol, Crystal’s 4-step tool, Sit down, Calm down, Identify, and Process, for navigating triggers
• Anger on the brain and why it is impossible to reason through a trigger when the amygdala is hijacked
• Reframing for the partner who betrayed and how accountability, consistency, and presence can reduce ongoing anger
• Moving toward repair and how seeing anger as a signal of wounding rather than a flaw supports connection and empathy

By reframing anger as a signal of wounding rather than a character flaw, couples can move from defensiveness to empathy, and from shame to true repair.

Click here to download Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck’s S.C.I.P. Protocol.

Click here to purchase Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck’s book, Betrayal Trauma Anger: You’re Not Crazy, You’re Angry, and You Should Be.

Want to connect with us? Click here to book your free 15-minute call.

In this deeply moving episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie is joined by four courageous women (Sabra, Ally, Liz, and Rachel) who vulnerably share their personal experiences navigating the aftermath of betrayal. Together, they explore a critical but often overlooked aspect of the healing journey: the complex role of friends and family.

The group discusses the universal need for external support and the painful reality that loved ones often don't know what to say or how to show up effectively. From the impulse to retreat and isolate to the trauma of being judged by those closest to them, these women highlight the delicate balance between needing a "safe place to land" and requiring firm boundaries to protect their own healing process.

Key topics in this conversation include:

• The Grey Area of Discovery: Why betrayed partners often withdraw from social circles while trying to make sense of their shattered reality.
• The Burden of the Fixer: How the well-intentioned advice of friends, like telling a partner to just leave, can often add to the trauma rather than alleviate it.
• Connection with Boundaries: Defining what safe support looks like, from the power of a meal train to the simple, profound act of sitting in silence.
• The Role of Support Groups: How finding a community of others who get it becomes a lifeline when family and friends fall short.

Whether you are currently navigating betrayal trauma or you are a loved one seeking to support someone you care about, this episode provides essential insights into moving from judgment to empathy and from isolation to authentic connection.

Download the Do's and Don'ts Guide for Family & Friends here!

Want to connect with us? Click here to schedule your free 15-minute call.

When betrayal enters a relationship, it doesn’t just break trust - it fractures a person’s sense of self, safety, and connection. In this episode, we explore the ten core wounds that betrayed partners often experience, each one carrying its own story and its own emotional truth:

• Worthiness Wound – “I’m not enough.”
• Safety Wound – “I’m not safe.”
• Reality Wound – “I can’t trust myself.”
• Control Wound – “I have to manage everything.”
• Belonging Wound – “I’m alone in this.”
• Burden Wound – “I have to carry everything.”
• Abandonment Wound – “You’ll leave me.”
• Inadequacy Wound – “I’m not as good as what I was betrayed with.”
• Powerlessness Wound – “I didn’t have a choice.”
• Trust Wound – “Trust is dangerous.”

Each wound reveals a different layer of the emotional devastation betrayal creates - and each one shapes how betrayed partners think, feel, and try to protect themselves in the aftermath.

In this episode, Marnie breaks down what these wounds look like in real life, how they impact day-to-day interactions, and why healing them requires understanding, patience, and consistent repair. We also talk directly to betrayers, offering a compassionate but honest framework for recognizing the impact of their actions and supporting their partner’s healing journey.

This episode is an invitation to move beyond surface reactions and into the deeper emotional landscape of betrayal - where clarity, empathy, and repair become possible. This episode is an invitation to move beyond surface reactions and into the deeper emotional landscape of betrayal - where clarity, empathy, and repair become possible.

Click here to download your free worksheet. This worksheet walks both partners through all ten wounds, helping identify which ones are active, how they’re showing up, and what healing might require.

Want to connect with us? Click here to schedule your free 15-minute call.

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