Hey Gay Boy cover art

Hey Gay Boy

Hey Gay Boy

Written by: James Wallis
Listen for free

About this listen

Hey gay boy.


This is a podcast about the things nobody warned us about. The quiet shame, the overthinking, the patterns we carried into adulthood without ever being given a name for them.


Each episode explores gay identity, mental health, and the psychology of growing up gay. Short, honest, and stripped back. Because some things are better said out loud. Part story, part reflection on what it really means to come out, grow up, and figure yourself out in a world that didn't always make space for you.


This podcast is for the gay man who has done the coming out bit but still feels like he's carrying something he can't quite name. The one who looks fine on the outside but knows there's a version of himself he never really got to meet. The one who grew up performing, pleasing, shrinking and is only now starting to unpick why.


If that sounds familiar, you're not alone. And you're exactly who this is for.


Hey Gay Boy started as a series of short form videos. Honest, spoken word reflections on the nuances of growing up gay. The response was something I wasn't prepared for. Thousands of people telling me they'd never had a name for what they were feeling. That someone had finally said it out loud.


The Substack followed. Then came the realisation that some of these conversations needed more than a caption or an article. They needed audio. They needed to feel like a voice note from someone who gets it.

So here we are.


Each episode draws on psychology, personal experience, and the kind of quiet observations that don't make it into mainstream conversations about LGBT life. We talk about minority stress, shame, self worth, attachment, the inner child, and all the invisible ways growing up gay shapes who we become, long after we've come out.


No guests (yet). No panel discussions. Just honest, considered reflections designed to be listened to on a commute, a walk, or one of those evenings when you just need to feel a little less alone in it.


Thank you so much for being here,


James x

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

James Wallis Hygiene & Healthy Living Psychology Psychology & Mental Health Social Sciences
Episodes
  • why rejection breaks us

    why rejection breaks us
    May 13 2026

    In this episode, I explore why rejection hurts far more than we give it credit for, and why for so many of us, especially as queer people, it cuts straight to the bone.


    From being ghosted to the collapse of a relationship you thought was everything, I unpack why the pain isn't just about losing someone. It's about the younger version of you who never felt chosen, wanted, or safe.


    Drawing on psychology and neuroscience, I look at why the brain registers rejection like physical pain, how childhood wounds and gay shame show up in our adult relationships, and why brushing it off rarely makes it go away.


    This is an honest conversation about heartbreak, identity, and self-worth, and a reminder that if it hit hard, it was never just about them.


    ___


    Check out more queer topics in my Substack: https://jameswallis0.substack.com/

    Follow me on Instagram & TikTok too for even more content

    Want to go deeper?

    The Hey Gay Boy Substack is where I explore all of this in long form, with thousands of subscribers already in the community. Find it at jameswallis0.substack.com

    Come and say hello on Instagram @james_wallis and TikTok @jameswallis_

    If you'd like to support the podcast, you can buy me a coffee at buymeacoffee.com/jameswallis.

    Everything else is at linktr.ee/jameswallis

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
    Show More Show Less
    14 mins
  • why is the gay community sometimes a bit sh*t?

    why is the gay community sometimes a bit sh*t?
    May 6 2026

    In this episode, I explore the complicated reality of feeling like an outsider within the gay community, even after coming out.


    From the unspoken pressure to look, act, and perform a certain way, to the fragility of gay friendships and the loneliness that can exist in the middle of a packed nightclub, I unpack why belonging can feel so elusive. Drawing on psychological frameworks like the Minority Stress Model and the concept of the "wounded child,"


    I examine how early shame, identity-eroding comparison, and validation-seeking behaviours shape our adult relationships and sense of self.


    This is an honest take on loving a community while also being frankt about the ways it can fall short, and a reminder that you're far from alone in feeling like you don't quite fit in.




    Want to go deeper?

    The Hey Gay Boy Substack is where I explore all of this in long form, with thousands of subscribers already in the community. Find it at jameswallis0.substack.com

    Come and say hello on Instagram @james_wallis and TikTok @jameswallis_

    If you'd like to support the podcast, you can buy me a coffee at buymeacoffee.com/jameswallis.

    Everything else is at linktr.ee/jameswallis

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
    Show More Show Less
    13 mins
  • 14 signs you're already healing

    14 signs you're already healing
    Apr 29 2026

    In this episode, I'm talking about the quiet, easy-to-miss signs that you're actually further along than you think.


    Because if you've spent years in survival mode, growth doesn't always feel like power.


    Sometimes it just feels like going home after one drink because you're tired, or receiving a compliment and saying thank you instead of deflecting it.

    Want to go deeper?

    The Hey Gay Boy Substack is where I explore all of this in long form, with thousands of subscribers already in the community. Find it at jameswallis0.substack.com

    Come and say hello on Instagram @james_wallis and TikTok @jameswallis_

    If you'd like to support the podcast, you can buy me a coffee at buymeacoffee.com/jameswallis.

    Everything else is at linktr.ee/jameswallis

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
    Show More Show Less
    6 mins
adbl_web_anon_alc_button_suppression_c
No reviews yet