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Hey White Women

Hey White Women

Written by: Daniella Mestyanek Young
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 In this insightful and candid conversation, Daniella Mestyanek Young, a scholar of cults, extreme groups, and extremely leadership, joins Rebecca, known as White Woman Whisperer on TikTok and Patreon, to delve into their experiences and revelations about cult dynamics, white supremacy, and systemic racism. Daniella, who grew up in the notorious Children of God cult and later served in the military, shares her journey of understanding and deconstructing white supremacy as a pervasive cult. Rebecca, a Black Jewish woman, discusses her own realizations about systemic racism and the similarities between white supremacy and cult behavior. Together, they explore the complexities of deprogramming from these ingrained systems, the importance of acknowledging privilege, and the power of vulnerability in fostering genuine understanding and change. This dialogue sheds light on the personal and societal challenges of breaking free from cult-like ideologies and the ongoing work required to dismantle oppressive systems.2024 Philosophy Social Sciences
Episodes
  • Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 66 | You're Late. Come In Quietly.

    Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 66 | You're Late. Come In Quietly.
    Feb 19 2026
    Content warnings: Racism, white supremacy, police violence (Philando Castile referenced), ICE and immigration enforcement, genocide of Indigenous people, slavery, cult abuse (rape/torture/murder referenced generally), suicide (referenced generally), war/imperialism. Daniella and Rebecca begin by talking about weather disruptions and how infrastructure failures, especially in majority-Black areas, reflect systemic racism and neglect. From there, they zoom out into a larger conversation about white America "waking up" only when systems start affecting them directly, and how that delayed awakening is both infuriating and dangerous because it can become a temporary moment rather than lasting change. They explore whiteness as a cult-like system built on dehumanization, denial, and thought-stopping clichés. Rebecca emphasizes that waking up does not come with absolution, and that journaling and self-interrogation are necessary before asking marginalized people to do emotional labor. Daniella connects this to cult-exit frameworks, noting that people leaving harmful systems often need a soft landing to avoid being pushed back into the same cult, but that victims are never obligated to provide that. They also discuss how capitalism functions as a belief system that dehumanizes people through productivity metrics and profitability, and how creative practices like fiber arts can be anti-capitalist acts of joy. Throughout, both emphasize that growth requires accepting misunderstanding, discomfort, and the fact that people change over time, including public intellectuals and leaders. CONNECT WITH REBECCA • Website: https://www.whitewomanwhisperer.com • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@thewhitewomanwhisperer • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@white_woman_whisperer CONNECT WITH DANIELLA • Order Culting of America: https://knittingcultlady.com/products/the-culting-of-america • Autographed copy of Uncultured: https://uncultureyourself.com/pages/uncultured-autographed • From Bookshop.org: https://bookshop.org/a/104058/9781250280114 • Daniella's Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/GroupBehaviorGal • Daniella's TikTok: https://bit.ly/4muxbu6 (@knittingcultladychat) • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCuFRBZ2w3QsYs7Km69keHsg • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/stories/daniellamyoung_/ • Hey White Women Podcast: https://tr.ee/2gWVBFaYnp • Cults and the Culting of America Podcast: https://sites.libsyn.com/534892/site • White Women Get Ready: https://www.mistresssyndrome.com/book KEY TAKEAWAYS • Infrastructure and public services failures often track racialized neglect, not just "bad luck" or weather • White America frequently "wakes up" only when harm reaches them personally • The danger of focusing only on ICE, or any single symptom, is that people may go back to sleep when the crisis feels less urgent • Whiteness functions like a cult: dehumanization, denial, scripts, and fear-based social control • Waking up from a cult does not come with "ultimate absolution" for harm done while inside it • Journaling and self-interrogation are necessary before demanding answers or emotional labor from marginalized people • Forgiveness is not the same as accountability; changed behavior is the only meaningful evidence • Cult-exit frameworks show that "soft landings" reduce the risk of relapse, but victims are not obligated to provide that landing • Capitalism acts like a belief system that reduces humans to productivity and profitability • Joy-based art and fiber crafts can be anti-capitalist resistance because they reject "usefulness" as the main value • Being misunderstood is part of growth; over-explaining often becomes another form of insult or defensiveness • People, including leaders and experts, change over time, and society needs to make room for that without demanding perfection CHAPTERS 00:00 Surviving the Storm: A Personal Reflection 01:45 Racism in Education: A Systemic Issue 04:18 The Awakening: Understanding Black Lives Matter 09:19 Confronting White Apathy: A Call to Action 13:04 The Cult of Whiteness: A Personal Journey 17:01 Questioning Cultural Norms: The Role of Language 19:15 The Value of Frivolity: Anti-Capitalist Perspectives 22:53 Empathy in the Face of Dehumanization 26:30 The Complexity of War and Propaganda 28:09 Navigating Privilege and Audience 29:40 Understanding Cult Dynamics and Survivor Needs 31:54 Expertise vs. Learning: The Dual Journey 34:13 The Evolution of Thought and Public Discourse 36:54 The Myth of Perfection in Leaders 38:56 Embracing Change and Growth 41:54 The Fear of Standing Out 45:13 Identity and Belonging in a Cult Context 48:22 Forgiveness and Understanding in Healing 50:26 The Role of Society in Shaping Narratives 52:15 Awakening to Reality 55:31 The Role of Education in Change 57:53 Embracing Embarrassment and Growth 01:00:34 Finding Your Role in the Revolution 01:03:31 ...
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    1 hr and 19 mins
  • Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 65 | We Are The Adults Now

    Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 65 | We Are The Adults Now
    Feb 19 2026

    CONTENT WARNINGS: Discussion of racism/white supremacy, police brutality, authoritarianism, gun violence/school shootings, and cult dynamics.

    Daniella and Rebecca have a wide-ranging conversation about voice, power, and whiteness. They start with how "voice modulation" shows up in conservative culture, including the "keep sweet" Disney-princess voice and how women are socially trained to soften themselves to manage men's emotions. From there, the conversation expands into how whiteness shapes public perception, who is allowed to sound angry, and why Black women are punished for directness. They also discuss Rebecca's creator journey and the shift from data-collecting to output, including the transition into workshops and eventually a book. Throughout the episode, they return to the theme that white women are both the problem and the solution, and that waking up late doesn't excuse harm done along the way. The conversation ends with practical cultural critique about American "safety," the illusion of democracy, the obsession with legal paperwork, and why real resistance requires community, not performative gestures.

    CONNECT WITH REBECCA

    • Website: https://www.whitewomanwhisperer.com

    • Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/whitewomanwhisperer

    • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@whitewomanwhisperer

    CONNECT WITH DANIELLA

    • Website: https://www.daniellamestyanekyoung.com/

    • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DaniellaMestyanekYoung

    • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@daniellamestyanekyoung

    • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/daniellamestyanekyoung/

    • Twitter/X: https://x.com/DaniellaMY

    • Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/daniellamestyanekyoung

    • Cult Book Club: https://www.patreon.com/daniellamestyanekyoung

    • Buy Culting of America: https://www.daniellamestyanekyoung.com/cultingofamerica

    KEY TAKEAWAYS

    • "Voice modulation" is not neutral; it's a cultural tool tied to gender roles, white respectability politics, and control.

    • The "keep sweet" voice is part of the infantilization of women, and a strategy for managing male anger.

    • Whiteness impacts who gets perceived as threatening, credible, "TV-ready," or safe to monetize.

    • There is no way to "give back" white privilege — the real question is how to use it intentionally and responsibly.

    • White women waking up late can still be dangerous in community if they want comfort more than accountability.

    • Craftivism can be meaningful, but it is not a substitute for real civic engagement and organizing.

    • America's obsession with paperwork, legality, and "citizenship" mirrors cult logic and can be used to justify harm.

    • People are not "safe" by default in the U.S.; the idea of safety has always been selective and racialized.

    • If white Americans want change, they have to stop waiting for a savior and accept: "We're the adults now."

    • If we don't address the cultural pipeline that produces violent white men (and the systems that enable them), the violence will continue.

    CHAPTER

    00:00 Exploring Voices and Identity

    02:51 Voice Modulation and Gender Dynamics

    05:36 Navigating Professional Spaces as Women

    08:21 The Transition from Consumption to Creation

    11:22 The Capitalism of Creativity

    13:56 Confidence, Performance, and Cult Backgrounds

    16:33 Building Community and Addressing Inequities

    25:38 Awakening and Responsibility

    27:17 The Role of White Women in Change

    29:20 Defining Cults and Community

    30:24 The Burden of Leadership

    32:11 Civic Engagement and Responsibility

    34:22 Understanding Citizenship and Legalism

    36:22 The Role of Sports in Society

    38:34 Legalism vs. Morality

    40:44 Inheriting Systems of Oppression

    42:41 Healing and Moving Forward

    44:52 The Importance of Acknowledging History

    47:15 The Dangers of Complacency

    49:47 Addressing Gun Violence and Cultural Issues

    54:34 The Illusion of Safety and Parenthood

    57:30 Community vs. Individualism in Social Support

    59:56 Capitalism and Leadership: A Critical Examination

    01:02:52 The Reality of War and Activism

    01:05:45 Confronting Racism: A White Perspective

    01:08:23 The Role of White Women in Activism

    01:11:18 Dehumanization and Propaganda in Society

    01:13:51 Historical Context of Racism and Hypocrisy

    01:16:12 Moving Beyond Shock: The Call to Action

    Produced by Haley Phillips
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    1 hr and 21 mins
  • Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 64 | Respectability Rebranded

    Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 64 | Respectability Rebranded
    Jan 30 2026

    In this episode, Daniella and Rebecca explore how white womanhood functions as a powerful cultural and political identity within American systems of power. The conversation examines how whiteness, gender, and class intersect to produce both vulnerability and authority, and how white women are often positioned as both victims and enforcers within oppressive structures. Together, they unpack how safety narratives, respectability politics, and emotional performances have historically been weaponized to uphold racial hierarchies while obscuring class struggle. The episode ultimately reframes white womanhood not as an individual moral failure, but as a socially engineered role that can be consciously unlearned through accountability, solidarity, and a deeper understanding of structural power.

    Connect with Rebecca:

    https://www.whitewomanwhisperer.com

    https://www.patreon.com/whitewomanwhisperer

    https://www.tiktok.com/@whitewomanwhisperer

    Connect with Daniella at:

    Daniella's Patreon

    TikTok

    Instagram

    Website

    Youtube

    KnittingCultLady Store

    Uncultured by Daniella Mestyanek Young

    • From Bookshop.org

    • Autographed

    • UnAMERICAN Videobook

    Key Takeaways

    • White womanhood is not just an identity but a socially constructed role tied to power, safety, and moral authority.
    • White women are often positioned simultaneously as vulnerable victims and as agents of racial control.
    • Narratives of "safety" and "protection" have historically justified violence and exclusion.
    • Respectability politics and emotional performance can function as tools of social control.
    • Class struggle is frequently obscured by racialized gender narratives that divide potential solidarity.
    • Whiteness often operates invisibly, making it harder to interrogate than overt forms of oppression.
    • Individual "good intentions" are insufficient without structural awareness and accountability.
    • Deconstructing white womanhood requires examining both personal identity and systemic incentives.
    • Solidarity across race and class requires confronting uncomfortable truths about complicity.
    • Liberation is framed not as guilt or shame, but as a conscious rejection of inherited roles.

    Chapters

    00:00 The Intersection of Professionalism and Racism
    02:47 Cultural Dynamics and Social Scripts
    05:46 Deconstructing White Womanhood
    08:42 The Role of White Women in Social Justice
    11:35 Understanding Safety and Proximity to Whiteness
    14:08 Healing Social Infections
    16:48 Revolution and the Language of War
    19:59 The Impact of Rhetoric on Violence
    23:02 Understanding Community and Individual Responsibility
    25:45 The Complexity of Activism and Involvement
    28:39 Healing and Reckoning in Social Justice
    33:04 The Process of Deconstruction and Forgiveness
    36:31 The Role of White Women in Social Change
    43:23 Dancing in War Zones: A Coping Mechanism
    45:07 The Impact of Military Culture on Personal Expression
    47:02 Understanding Violence: Emotional vs. Physical
    48:09 The Role of Whiteness in Social Justice
    49:24 Navigating Privilege and Responsibility
    51:53 Creativity in Activism: Breaking the Mold
    53:15 Learning from History: The Importance of Reflection
    55:15 Confronting the American Dream: A Call to Action
    56:31 The Burden of Awareness: What Comes Next?
    58:57 The Dangers of Escapism in Activism
    01:00:18 The Importance of Staying and Fighting
    01:01:56 The Cost of Ignorance: A Call for Civic Engagement
    01:03:59 Embracing Complexity in Social Change

    Produced by Haley Phillips
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    1 hr and 7 mins
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