In this episode, Chelsi is joined by Lacey Keller Smith, a wildland fire wife and cofounder of Fired Up, a nonprofit supporting wildland fire families. Together, they talk about what home life really looks like in a federal wildland fire family and how those realities compare and intersect with CAL FIRE and structure fire life.

Lacey breaks down the federal wildland schedule in a way most people have never heard, including 5/8s, fire season extensions, six day weeks, and 14 day assignments that often turn into 16 to 18 days with travel. She explains why the hardest part is not always the dramatic moments, but the long stretches of daily grind where dad comes home late, kids stay up just to see him, and the family runs on fumes for weeks at a time.

Chelsi adds the CAL FIRE perspective, including the reality of split schedules, how different assignments create completely different home experiences, and why agencies struggle to support families when the job itself is unpredictable by design. Together, they dig into the “station family” gap in wildland, how inconsistent support depends on leadership, and why spouses often do not have the built-in community that firefighters have on their crews.

Lacey also shares what Fired Up is building, including a family handbook designed to fill the resource gap that currently leaves spouses and parents without guidance, from practical needs like washing wildland gear safely to the emotional reality of supporting kids when a parent is gone. This conversation is honest, deeply validating, and focused on what helps, including building local and online support, being more vocal, and giving spouses permission to acknowledge that the fire service touches the whole family.

Visit fireduppartners.org for more info.

Takeaways:

• Wildland firefighting impacts the entire family unit.

• Isolation is a common experience among fire families.

• Communication is key to maintaining family relationships during deployments.

• Building community among fire families can alleviate feelings of loneliness.

• Understanding the unique challenges of wildland firefighting is crucial for support.

• Fire families need to be vocal about their experiences to drive change.

Kewywords: wildland firefighting, fire families, community support, mental health, family dynamics, advocacy, firefighter schedules, isolation, family life

00:00 Introduction to Wildland Fire Families

02:09 The Mission of Fired Up Nonprofit

04:13 The Loneliness of Fire Families

05:57 Understanding the Wildland Fire Schedule

08:17 The Challenges of Family Time

10:15 Balancing Family and Responsibilities

12:31 The Need for Systemic Change

14:14 The Importance of Community Support

16:26 Navigating Personal Crises

18:28 The Disconnect with Leadership

20:13 The Need for Family Inclusion

22:24 The Complexity of Fire Family Experiences

24:27 The Future of Wildland Firefighting

26:13 Conclusion and Call to Action

31:19 The Importance of Community in Fire Families

32:11 Navigating Tragedy and Support Systems

32:50 Understanding the Spouse's Experience

36:17 Communication and Identity in Fire Families

39:33 Managing Family Dynamics and Expectations

40:41 Technology and Family Relationships

41:15 Building Community and Connection

Firefighters are often told to leave the job at work. But what if the job is not something you can just turn off?

In this episode, Chelsi sits down with Scott Hewlett of Multiple Calls Podcast to talk about the expectations placed on firefighters and their families, and why the idea of switching work off at home does not reflect the reality of first responder life. Scott shares why being a firefighter is not just a job but an extension of who someone already is, and how asking them to shut that part down at home can quietly erode connection and authenticity.

They discuss how work and home life inevitably affect each other, the resentment that builds from unspoken expectations, and the damage caused by keeping score instead of building agreements. The conversation explores emotional regulation, capacity, and why both partners need permission to be tired, overwhelmed, and human without judgment.

Scott also speaks openly about mental health in the fire service and the pressure men feel to be better firefighters, partners, and parents.

This episode is for firefighter families who are tired of pretending work and home exist in separate worlds and who want to build a relationship rooted in honesty, compassion, and being on the same team.

Learn more about Scott:

website: https://www.multiplecalls.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/multiplecallspodcast/

email: multiplecalls@gmail.com

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Expectations at Work and Home

00:56 The Unique Mindset of First Responders

04:46 Understanding the Impact of Work on Home Life

08:41 Communication and Unmet Expectations

12:48 The Importance of Emotional Expression

17:47 Managing Mental Health as a First Responder

20:53 Creating a Safe Space in Relationships

22:55 Emotional Release and Trust in Relationships

25:07 Changing Perspectives on Mental Health

27:01 Navigating Gender Roles in Modern Parenting

29:50 The Reality of Work-Life Balance

33:12 Finding Fulfillment in Family Life

35:56 Collaborative Solutions for Family Dynamics

In this conversation, Chelsi and Samantha discuss the complexities of being in a dual first responder relationship, particularly focusing on the challenges of balancing work and family life. They explore the emotional toll of the job, the importance of communication, and the need for mental health support.

Samantha shares her experiences as a paramedic and fire wife, detailing the struggles of managing schedules, raising children with special needs, and the impact of mental health on their family dynamics. They also touch on the evolving culture within the first responder community and the significance of finding support and understanding from peers.

Chapters:

00:00 – Intro: Dual First Responders at Home

What it means to be a first responder married to a first responder.

03:00 – How the Job Shapes Family Life

Schedules, stress, and entering first responder life together.

07:45 – When There Is No Off-Duty Parent

Managing a household when both parents are on shift.

12:30 – The Invisible Mental Load

The work no one sees but someone always carries.

17:15 – Mandatory Overtime and Unpredictability

How mandos disrupt routines and parenting.

22:00 – Becoming the Default Parent

Why one partner often absorbs more at home by necessity.

26:40 – Parenting During Fire Season

How fire season changes everything.

31:20 – Neurodivergent Parenting

Supporting kids with additional needs in a high-stress home.

36:10 – Marriage Under Pressure

Communication, exhaustion, and staying connected.

40:45 – Acceptance vs Resentment

Living with the reality of the job.

45:30 – What Actually Helps

Support systems, boundaries, and realistic expectations.

49:30 – Final Takeaways

What dual first responder families should know.