There's a difference between being watched and being seen.
Most workplaces have mastered watching—monitoring performance, tracking metrics, observing output. But seeing? That's the part that gets missed. And it's the part that actually matters.

In this episode of How Work Actually Works, Joe Marques and KayLee Hansen explore five practical questions that help leaders move from surveillance to connection. These are the kinds of questions that shift one-on-ones from status updates to real conversations—and create the conditions where trust and engagement can actually grow.

KayLee shares her “magic questions” approach, including the story of the Hot Wheels Lamborghinis and why knowing someone’s exact coffee order matters more than most leaders realize. Joe adds perspective on why recognition often misses the mark, how motivation goes deeper than money, and why the first, polished answer people give is rarely the real one—until you slow down and dig a little deeper.

They also talk about how to introduce this approach without it feeling performative or forced—especially if this isn’t how you’ve led before.

Whether you’re a new manager or a seasoned leader looking to reset how you connect with your team, this episode gives you questions you can use immediately.

Key Takeaways

• Why being watched feels very different from being understood
• Two questions that reveal how people actually want to be recognized
• How to move past surface-level answers to uncover real motivation
• What most leaders get wrong about feedback—and how to fix it
• One culture question that works like a mini pulse survey

Better leadership doesn’t start with better answers.

It starts with better questions.

What actually makes people want to follow a leader?

In this episode of How Work Actually Works, Joe Marques and KayLee Hansen break leadership down to its simplest—and most misunderstood—ingredients. Using an unexpectedly sticky metaphor (apple pie), they explore why leadership isn’t about confidence, competence, or ambition alone—and why those traits, without something deeper, often fall flat.

They unpack a practical “recipe” for real leadership:

• Self-awareness — knowing your strengths and your blind spots
• Humility — being willing to learn out loud and invite others in
• Care — the true multiplier that turns authority into followership

Along the way, they challenge common leadership myths, talk candidly about fake care and performative humility, and share real workplace stories that show how trust is actually built—or quietly broken.

You’ll leave with:

• A clearer distinction between leadership and followership
• Simple, actionable ways to gauge your own self-awareness
• Questions you can use with your team immediately
• A sharper lens on why people either lean in…or check out

Simple ingredients. No shortcuts. And no cinnamon-by-the-cup mistakes.

What happens when you stop trying to fix what's broken and start building on what works?

In our first guest episode, Joe and KayLee welcome Tria Deibert, SVP of Culture and Team Member Wellbeing at Hackensack Meridian Health—and one of the most authentic leaders we know.

Tria shares how she went from marketing executive to culture architect (with plenty of imposter syndrome along the way), and why she scrapped the consultant "market shaper" language in favor of words that actually sound like real humans at work.

You'll hear about:

• Why appreciative inquiry beats deficit-based thinking every time
• How 400-person summits make change feel like co-creation
• The moment when everyone takes off their title and becomes equals
• Four simple actions proven to drive engagement (no complicated programs required)
• Why "leadership is love in action" isn't soft—it's strategic

This conversation is proof that when you focus on what works, involve people in shaping the future, and lead with heart, culture shifts. And when culture shifts, everything else follows.