This episode of Hypospadias Conversations is the conclusion of the discussion that co-hosts John and Bonnie had with Lillian Hayes, Ph.D., Jackie L. Papadakis, Ph.D., Jennifer Hansen Moore, Ph.D. and Jeffrey S. Garofano, Ph.D.—all four are psychologists from leading children’s hospitals. The episode topics centered on the what parents can do to normalize the medical experience their sons will face throughout their lives and help him independently address his medical care as he grows into a young man. The psychologists emphasize that helping young boys feel confident and in control during discussions and doctor visits are key.

Helping Young Men Overcome Medical Anxiety and Shame Around Hypospadias Care

Overview

A panel of four pediatric psychologists discuss practical strategies for parents to help children and teens with hypospadias navigate doctor appointments without shame, while gradually building their autonomy and self-advocacy skills.

Key Points

· Normalize the medical experience — Frame urology visits as routine care, not something shameful or secret. Use calm, simple language about why exams matter for healthy growth.

· Give control to reduce anxiety — Let patients choose appointment times, which parent attends, who stays in the room, and even small preferences like "no talking during the exam." Anxiety stems from perceived lack of control.

· Prepare and predict — Explain what will happen days ahead: Will there be a physical exam? Blood draws? What order will things happen? Demystifying reduces fear.

· Gradual independence — Center even young children in conversations with doctors. By middle school, kids can lead parts of visits. Parents should explicitly state the goal: you will eventually own your medical care.

· Reinforce brave behavior — Pair difficult appointments with rewards (favorite meal, treat). This builds positive associations and motivation.

· Let the child lead disclosure — Offer information when asked, but don't force conversations. Focus on cultivating their whole identity so hypospadias doesn't dominate their self-concept.

Action Items for Parents:

· Ask your child's urology team if a pediatric psychologist is available; advocate for one if not

· Practice "exposure" by talking through what appointments entail before they happen

· Create a brief, age-appropriate script for explaining hypospadias to your child

· Identify one small choice your child can make about their next appointment

· Step out of the room for 5 minutes during teen visits to give private doctor time

Resources Mentioned:

· Society of Pediatric Psychology urology special interest group (33 members and growing)

· Hypospadias and Epispadias Association

· Hypospadias UK Trust

· MyHypeLife.org — video stories by and for the community

· Sex therapists and medical-institution psychologists for adult support

This episode of Hypospadias Conversations is a continuation of the discussion that co-hosts John and Bonnie had with Lillian Hayes, Ph.D., Jackie L. Papadakis, Ph.D., Jennifer Hansen Moore, Ph.D. and Jeffrey S. Garofano, Ph.D.—all four are psychologists from leading children’s hospitals. The episode topics centered on the emotional and social challenges that boys and men with hypospadias may face, especially around teasing, privacy, relationships, and self-esteem. The psychologists emphasize that preparation, open communication, and confidence-building are key.

This episode of Hypospadias Conversations brings together pediatric psychologists from leading children’s hospitals to discuss the emotional, developmental, and relationship aspects of living with hypospadias. Co-hosts John and Bonnie speak with four psychologists: Lillian Hayes, Ph.D., Jackie L. Papadakis, Ph.D., Jennifer Hansen Moore, Ph.D. and Jeffrey S. Garofano, Ph.D. The conversation focuses on how parents can support children from infancy through adulthood, how shame and anxiety develop, and how openness, self-understanding, and supportive relationships can improve long-term emotional wellbeing.