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I Guess We're Just Like This Now

I Guess We're Just Like This Now

Written by: I Guess We're Just Like This Now
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 Congratulations, you survived your trauma! High Five!
Bad news: the toy at the bottom of the box is a miss-wired nervous system. Let’s see what we can do about that…

Welcome to I Guess We’re Just Like This Now, the trauma afterparty for the unfinished human.

We skip the motivational posters and dig into the messy reality of life built on survival wiring. It’s not about erasing your past - it’s about embracing life on the other side. Often messy, occasionally beautiful, and sometimes we cry into ice cream.

Each week we dive into somatic and psychological research from clinical heavy-hitters, bringing you down-to-earth, evidence-based tools to navigate post-trauma life. This show isn’t about your diagnosis; it’s about managing the challenges that stem from navigating the world alongside developmental trauma, neurodivergence, social injustice, and mood disorders.

We explore topics like:
  • Understanding the lingering effects of trauma with cognitive tools that actually work mid-spiral.
  • Quieting the mean-girl inner critic and learning self-compassion.
  • Calming your out-of-pocket nervous system with simple somatic exercises.
  • Navigating relationships without losing yourself or your mind.

No fluff. No fake platitudes. No kittens hanging in there on branches (unless they're funny). Just evidence-based methods, actionable strategies, and a compassionate, but exasperated sigh at the absurdity of it all.

New episodes drop every Sunday, with optional worksheets and extra deep dive content for supporters.

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/i-guess-we-re-just-like-this-now--6748146/support.I Guess We're Just Like This Now Hygiene & Healthy Living Psychology Psychology & Mental Health Self-Help Success
Episodes
  • Making Sense of the Mess: How Psychoeducation Changes the Game

    Making Sense of the Mess: How Psychoeducation Changes the Game
    Oct 19 2025
    If your inner critic won’t shut up about how “broken” you are, this episode is your cease-and-desist. We’re reframing “What’s wrong with me?” into the much more accurate “What happened to me?” — and unpacking how your nervous system’s survival code got written in the first place. We’ll explore the psychology of the moral defense (why kids blame themselves to preserve unsafe attachments), how the four trauma responses — fight, flight, freeze, and fawn — are actually ingenious strategies, and why your anxiety or people-pleasing aren’t moral failures, they’re adaptive blueprints. Learn how to use a simple cognitive reframe to turn shame into context — and start seeing your symptoms as the receipts of survival, not the evidence of damage.

    This week's worksheet can be found here.

    Sources Referenced:

    Armstrong, Amanda, MA. Healing Through the Vagus Nerve: Improve Your Body’s Response to Anxiety, Depression, Stress, and Trauma Through Nervous System Regulation. Fair Winds Press, 2024.

    Dana, Deb, LCSW. Anchored. Vermilion, 2024.

    Durvasula, Ramani, PhD. It’s Not You: How to Identify and Heal from NARCISSISTIC People. Random House, 2024.

    Ferguson, Anna, CCTAP. The Vagus Nerve Reset. Random House Australia, 2023.

    Gibson, Lindsay C., PsyD. Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, Or Self-Involved Parents. New Harbinger Publications, 2015.

    Kain, Kathy L., and Stephen J. Terrell. Nurturing Resilience: Helping Clients Move Forward from Developmental Trauma--An Integrative Somatic Approach. North Atlantic Books, 2018.

    Porges, Stephen W., PhD. Polyvagal Safety: Attachment, Communication, Self-Regulation. National Geographic Books,

    2021.Salar, Megan, LCSW. The EMDR Workbook for Trauma and PTSD: Skills to Manage Triggers, Move Beyond Traumatic Memories, and Take Back Your Life. 2023.

    Walker, Pete, MA. Complex PTSD : From Surviving to Thriving: A Guide and Map for Recovering from Childhood Trauma. Createspace Independent Publishing Platform, 2013.

    Zimmerman, Annie. Your Pocket Therapist. Dey Street Books, 2024.

    Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/i-guess-we-re-just-like-this-now--6748146/support.

    Transcripts and free worksheets can be found here

    Join the Hot Mess Club.

    It’s our supporter community, and your ticket to the deluxe trauma buffet. Members get:
    • One long-form deep dive episode every month (40–60 min) that unpacks the science, digs into integrated recovery strategies with both bottom-up and top-down guided exercises, and comes with worksheets big enough to make your therapist jealous.
    • Ad-free listening for every episode. Jump straight into the good stuff and enjoy the show with no interruptions.
    • First dibs on secret and future perks: voting on episode topics, exclusive Q&A episodes, ad-free listening, discounts on future courses, and merch that says, “yes, I’m healing, but sarcastically.”
    Support the show. Get more tools. Pretend you joined a very niche club - because you did.
    Show More Show Less
    17 mins
  • Self-Loathing as Survival Strategy: How Toxic Shame Hijacked Your Brain

    Self-Loathing as Survival Strategy: How Toxic Shame Hijacked Your Brain
    Oct 12 2025
    If you’ve ever wondered why it feels easier to hate yourself than to have needs, this one’s for you. We’re talking toxic shame, the tragic logic of self-rejection, and the inner critic who just wants you to “do better” by disappearing. This is where compassion meets neuroscience - and maybe, finally, where you start treating yourself like someone worth surviving for.

    This Week's Worksheet

    Sources Referenced:

    Brach, Tara. Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha. Bantam, 2004.

    Brown, Brené, PhD. The Gifts of Imperfection: 10th Anniversary Edition: Features a New Foreword and Brand-new Tools. Simon and Schuster, 2022.

    Dana, Deb, LCSW. Anchored. Vermilion, 2024.

    Durvasula, Ramani, PhD. It’s Not You: How to Identify and Heal from NARCISSISTIC People. Random House, 2024.

    Emerson, David, and Elizabeth Hopper PhD. Overcoming Trauma Through Yoga: Reclaiming Your Body. North Atlantic Books, 2012.

    Ferguson, Anna, CCTAP. The Vagus Nerve Reset. Random House Australia, 2023.

    Gibson, Lindsay C., PsyD. Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, Or Self-Involved Parents. New Harbinger Publications, 2015.

    Gilbert, Paul, and Choden. Mindful Compassion: How the Science of Compassion Can Help You Understand Your Emotions, Live in the Present, and Connect Deeply with Others. New Harbinger Publications, 2014.

    Heller, Laurence, PhD, and Aline LaPierre PsyD. Healing Developmental Trauma: How Early Trauma Affects Self-Regulation, Self-Image, and the Capacity for Relationship. North Atlantic Books, 2012.

    Levine, Peter A., PhD. Trauma and Memory: Brain and Body in a Search for the Living Past: A Practical Guide for Understanding and Working with Traumatic Memory. North Atlantic Books, 2015.

    Neff, Kristin. Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself. Harper Collins, 2011.

    Porges, Stephen W., PhD. Polyvagal Safety: Attachment, Communication, Self-Regulation. National Geographic Books, 2021.

    Porges, Stephen W., PhD, and Seth Porges. Our Polyvagal World: How Safety and Trauma Change Us. W. W. Norton and Company, 2023.

    Rosenberg, Stanley, PhD. Accessing the Healing Power of the Vagus Nerve. North Atlantic Books, 2017.

    Walker, Pete, MA. Complex PTSD : From Surviving to Thriving: A Guide and Map for Recovering from Childhood Trauma. Createspace Independent Publishing Platform, 2013.

    Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/i-guess-we-re-just-like-this-now--6748146/support.

    Transcripts and free worksheets can be found here

    Join the Hot Mess Club.

    It’s our supporter community, and your ticket to the deluxe trauma buffet. Members get:
    • One long-form deep dive episode every month (40–60 min) that unpacks the science, digs into integrated recovery strategies with both bottom-up and top-down guided exercises, and comes with worksheets big enough to make your therapist jealous.
    • Ad-free listening for every episode. Jump straight into the good stuff and enjoy the show with no interruptions.
    • First dibs on secret and future perks: voting on episode topics, exclusive Q&A episodes, ad-free listening, discounts on future courses, and merch that says, “yes, I’m healing, but sarcastically.”
    Support the show. Get more tools. Pretend you joined a very niche club - because you did.
    Show More Show Less
    14 mins
  • Freakouts and Shutdowns: Why Your Nervous System Isn't the Enemy

    Freakouts and Shutdowns: Why Your Nervous System Isn't the Enemy
    Oct 5 2025
    Freakouts and Shutdowns: Why Your Nervous System Isn't the Enemy

    We're focusing on somatic skills this week with a primer on mapping your autonomic nervous system.

    So here’s the deal: your nervous system isn’t out to ruin your life - it’s just doing its one job: keeping you alive. Every panic spiral, every shut-down, every overreaction? Not a moral failure. Just survival strategies that worked… until they didn’t. In this episode, we break down Polyvagal Theory as a way to map what’s really happening under the hood. Think of it like your body’s color-coded operating system:
    • Green Zone (ventral vagal): safety, connection, or, “I can text back without hyperventilating.”
    • Yellow Zone (sympathetic): fight/flight, aka "Is this email notification side-eyeing me?!"
    • Red Zone (dorsal vagal): shut-down, freeze, that “I can't even...” vibe.
    We’ll talk about neuroception - your body’s unconscious radar scanning for danger - and how to track it through three streams of awareness: inside (your body), outside (your environment), and between (your relationships). The goal here isn’t to delete your defensive responses (that would actually be bad). It’s to learn compassionate self-regulation, improve vagal tone, and give yourself more flexibility - so the same system that used to lock you in survival mode can also unlock play, intimacy, and actually enjoying being alive.

    Sources Referenced:

    Armstrong, Amanda. Healing Through the Vagus Nerve: Improve Your Body’s Response to Anxiety, Depression, Stress, and Trauma Through Nervous System Regulation. Fair Winds Press, 2024.

    Dana, Deb. Anchored. Vermilion, 2024.

    Ferguson, Anna. The Vagus Nerve Reset. Random House Australia, 2023.

    Maté, Gabor, MD. The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness and Healing in a Toxic Culture. Random House, 2025.

    Porges, Stephen W., PhD. Polyvagal Safety: Attachment, Communication, Self-Regulation. National Geographic Books, 2021.

    Porges, Stephen W., and Seth Porges. Our Polyvagal World: How Safety and Trauma Change Us. W. W. Norton and Company, 2023.

    Walker, Pete, MA. Complex PTSD : From Surviving to Thriving: A Guide and Map for Recovering from Childhood Trauma. Createspace Independent Publishing Platform, 2013.

    Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/i-guess-we-re-just-like-this-now--6748146/support.

    Transcripts and free worksheets can be found here

    Join the Hot Mess Club.

    It’s our supporter community, and your ticket to the deluxe trauma buffet. Members get:
    • One long-form deep dive episode every month (40–60 min) that unpacks the science, digs into integrated recovery strategies with both bottom-up and top-down guided exercises, and comes with worksheets big enough to make your therapist jealous.
    • Ad-free listening for every episode. Jump straight into the good stuff and enjoy the show with no interruptions.
    • First dibs on secret and future perks: voting on episode topics, exclusive Q&A episodes, ad-free listening, discounts on future courses, and merch that says, “yes, I’m healing, but sarcastically.”
    Support the show. Get more tools. Pretend you joined a very niche club - because you did.
    Show More Show Less
    18 mins
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