In this episode, we explore the nature of grief through the lens of Internal Family Systems (IFS) with senior trainer Einat Bronstein. Drawing on the work of Francis Weller and other key grief theorists, we reflect on grief not as a problem to solve, but as a deeply human experience that calls for presence, witnessing, and integration.

We discuss how cultural expectations and “collective burdens” shape the way grief is experienced, often leading to blocked or frozen processes. From an IFS perspective, grief is understood as a complex, non-linear experience carried by different parts of the internal system, particularly exiles.

The conversation explores topics like:

• How IFS differs from stage-based and task-oriented models of grief - such as those of Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, John Bowlby, J. William Worden, and Robert Neimeyer
• What happens internally when we experience loss, and the roles of different parts in the grieving process
• Why grief may feel stuck, and how Self-led witnessing can allow transformation and healing
• The connection between present grief and earlier, unresolved losses
• The role of psychoeducation, ritual, and embodied expression in supporting grief
• What it means to “integrate” a loss within the IFS framework

We also reflect on common pitfalls therapists may encounter when working with grief, and the deeper wisdom that can emerge from loss, about love, attachment, and the enduring presence of those we have lost.

This episode is an invitation to approach grief with curiosity, compassion, and openness, honoring it as a doorway to connection, meaning, and inner transformation.

We are excited to celebrate the launch of IFS Collected Wisdom: Conversations with Experienced Voices in Internal Family Systems a book that brings together voices, reflections, and lived experience from across the IFS community. This book was created from a desire to honor those voices, and to acknowledge that wisdom in IFS doesn’t live in one place or one person. It lives in relationship, in experience, and in the field as it evolves. Thank you for being a listener, for being part of this community, and for continuing to explore what becomes possible when Self leads. We hope that IFS Collected Wisdom can become a companion in your IFS journey. Here is a link to the IFS Collected Wisdom book contents.

Today on IFS Talks, we’re excited to welcome Lisa Spiegel and Claire Stubbs. Lisa is the founder of Soho Parenting in New York City. She’s an author and a certified IFS therapist and consultant who has worked with children and families for over 40 years and teaches therapists around the world.

Claire Stubbs is a chartered counseling psychologist, author, and IFS therapist in the UK, specializing in neurodiversity, trauma, and emotionally based school avoidance. She is the author of Emotionally Based School Avoidance: A Compassionate and supportive companion for you and your child. Today, we will be speaking with them about using IFS withchildren and families. Welcome, Lisa and Claire!

We are excited to celebrate the launch of IFS Collected Wisdom: Conversations with Experienced Voices in Internal Family Systems a book that brings together voices, reflections, and lived experience from across the IFS community. This book was created from a desire to honor those voices, and to acknowledge that wisdom in IFS doesn’t live in one place or one person. It lives in relationship, in experience, and in the field as it evolves. Thank you for being a listener, for being part of this community, and for continuing to explore what becomes possible when Self leads. We hope that IFS Collected Wisdom can become a companion in your IFS journey. Here is a link to the IFS Collected Wisdom book contents.

In today’s episode, we speak with Joanne Twombly about a powerful IFS technique commonly known as "The Fire Drill, based on Joanne's chapter called The Fire Drill: Sorting Through Countertransference with IFS."

And we also announce the recent publication of IFS Collected Wisdom:Conversations with Experienced Voices in Internal Family Systems.

We are deeply grateful to all those who contributed to this project, and endorsed this volume, including Richard Schwartz, Susan McConnell, Cece Sykes, Joanne Twombly, Einat Bronstein, Bob Falconer, and many others.

We hope the book will be a companion on your IFS journey.

Here is a link to the IFS Collected Wisdom contents.