Do you find yourself constantly trying to help, coach, or fix your partner — and still feeling disconnected, resentful, or exhausted?In this powerful episode of the Together Podcast, Mike & Courtney explore the subtle but destructive line between loving someone and trying to fix them. While fixing often looks like care, support, or problem-solving, it frequently masks anxiety, control, and an avoidance of our own inner work — and it quietly erodes intimacy, polarity, and trust.

Drawing from deeply personal stories from their past relationships and their current marriage, Mike & Courtney unpack the fixer–fixee dynamic, why it’s so common among helpers, coaches, and healers, and how it creates codependence rather than connection. They introduce practical frameworks like the sticky note theory, the Go First principle, and their sacred no-coaching rule — tools that help couples move out of resentment and back into true partnership.

✨ In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why fixing feels helpful but damages intimacy

• The hidden anxiety underneath the fixer role

• How fixing kills polarity and desire

• The difference between reflection, vulnerability, and fixing

• How to reclaim your own seat in relationship

Chapters:

00:00 Introduction to the Podcast

01:07 The Fixer Dynamic in Relationships

03:06 Personal Stories of Fixing

07:10 Realizations and Shifts

12:44 The Sticky Note Theory

14:02 Mike's Experience with Fixing

18:25 The Impact of Fixing on Relationships

26:13 Personal Growth and Responsibility

29:09 Discovering Self in Relationships

30:30 Embodying Your Desires

32:50 The Sacred We: A Partnership Approach

33:57 The Mirror of Relationships

35:53 Navigating Fixer Tendencies

38:48 Setting Boundaries and Seeking Support

41:54 The Power of Vulnerability

44:19 Rules for Healthy Relationships

46:30 Trusting the Process

51:15 Final Thoughts and Call to Action

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