Ancient Aliens claims the megalithic stonework at Sacsayhuamán in Peru is so precise it must have been built with alien laser technology or by a lost advanced civilization, because obviously the Inca couldn't possibly have figured out how to move big rocks on their own. They absolutely could, and they did it through sophisticated engineering, organized labour systems, and generations of accumulated knowledge. We explain the actual construction techniques (leverage, controlled fracturing, the mit'a labour system), debunk claims of "impossible" precision, and discuss how ancient astronaut theories systematically erase indigenous achievement while sanitizing the very real human cost of empire-building. Also, we spend an unreasonable amount of time obsessed with pronunciation guides, we invent "Pull lotees" as an ancient workout routine, and we learn that Julian Michael is the hero we need but don't deserve.

We prove beyond a shadow of a doubt in this one that, despite both being in our 30s, we are still 12.

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Music by Rod Kim | Cover art by Skutch | Edited by Stanford

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