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Practical Allotment Gardening for the Mildly Clueless

Practical Allotment Gardening for the Mildly Clueless

Written by: Lucas Slugworthy
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About this listen

Practical Allotment Gardening for the Mildly Clueless is a straightforward, no-fluff podcast for people growing vegetables on a UK allotment — especially if you’re not totally sure what you’re doing yet. Each episode gives clear, practical, season-by-season advice on what to sow, plant, fix, or stop worrying about right now. It’s honest, down-to-earth gardening help for real plots, real weather, and real-life time constraints. Expect useful tips, gentle reality checks, and the firm understanding that the slugs have a planning committee, night-vision equipment, and a personal vendetta against your best seedlings.@2025
Episodes
  • Bare-Root Fruit Trees: When to Buy, How to Choose, and Long-Term Strategy
    Feb 9 2026

    Bare-root fruit trees are one of the best long-term investments you can make on a UK allotment or in a garden. In this episode, we explain what bare-root trees are, when to buy them, and why winter is the ideal time to plant. You’ll learn how to think strategically about tree size, spacing, self-fertility, and long-term placement — without getting lost in technical detail. This is a practical guide to choosing fruit trees that will thrive for years, not just look good on planting day.

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    6 mins
  • Fruit Tree Mistakes That Take Years to Fix
    Jan 10 2026

    Some fruit tree mistakes don’t show up straight away — they quietly limit growth, reduce harvests, and create problems that take years to correct. In this episode, we cover the most common long-term fruit tree mistakes made on UK allotments and gardens, from planting in the wrong place and choosing the wrong size tree to pollination errors and pruning problems. A practical guide to getting fruit trees right from the start.

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    4 mins
  • Deciding What Not to Grow This Year: UK Climate Reality Check
    Jan 8 2026

    Not every vegetable is worth the space on a UK allotment. In this episode, we make a practical, UK-specific “do not grow” shortlist — crops that often struggle with our cool summers, need too much protection, or take up loads of space for a small return. From sweetcorn and aubergines outdoors to fussy celery, pest-prone brassicas without netting, and carrots in heavy soil, this is a reality check designed to save you time, frustration, and wasted bed space. The goal isn’t to grow less — it’s to grow smarter.

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    5 mins
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