#220: “Holding space” sounds like love, maturity, and emotional intelligence. But what happens when it’s actually you getting less and less of what you need and calling it patience? We go deep on the fine line between supporting someone through a hard season and slowly abandoning yourself to keep a connection alive.

I talk through how this shows up in real friendships and relationships: a person who used to check in becomes inconsistent, and we start filling in the gaps with explanations. Sometimes they really are overwhelmed or busy. Other times, it’s a pattern of low effort that we’re scared to name because it forces a hard question: am I being met, or am I just staying? We break down why wanting consistency, clarity, and care isn’t “too much,” and why boundaries are not the same thing as pressure or criticism.

We also get honest about priorities, intention, and the trap of potential. Glimpses of effort can keep you stuck, but connection is built on repeatable actions, not occasional moments. I share a healthier way to “hold space” that doesn’t require dramatic endings: stop overextending, stop overcompensating for what’s missing, and meet people where they actually are while staying truthful about where you are.

If this hits home, subscribe, share it with a friend, and leave a review. What’s one place in your life where you’ve been calling self-abandonment “understanding”?

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