]Episode summary:

In this episode, Diana Todd is joined by Kat Tomkinson (Driving Instructor Kat) to discuss PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance) and how it can show up in driving lessons when autonomy feels threatened. Kat shares practical ways to reduce demand, build trust, and keep learning non-judgemental — including using hypothetical scenarios and adapting communication. The conversation also covers Kat’s standards check: what the pressure felt like, how she reframed it positively, and how she prepared for success.

What we cover:

1. Kat’s journey into instructing after the COVID period and what she enjoys most about the job
2. Why many pupils / Instructors experience “resistance” that may actually be a nervous system response
3. PDA explained as autonomy threat → fight/flight/freeze/fall response
4. How seemingly neutral questions (“What could be improved?”) can sometimes trigger defensiveness
5. Practical lesson tools: visual aids, whiteboard scenarios, “future-focused” coaching
6. When offering choice helps — and when choice can feel like pressure
7. How to build rapport and trust so learners feel safe enough to self-reflect
8. Standards check experience: nerves, mindset, communication, and preparation
9. Preparing for the 40-minute “snapshot” when your normal lessons are much longer

Key takeaways:

1. Reduce perceived judgement; keep language neutral and future-focused
2. When someone is triggered, “backing off” can be the most productive move
3. Trust and rapport can be the difference between resistance and reflection
4. Standards checks are easier to handle when you keep CPD ongoing and reframe it as a positive check of your service

Guest links / contact:

1. Kat Tomkinson — Driving Instructor Kat (Facebook & Instagram)
2. Website/contact: drivinginstructorkat.blogspot.com

In this first episode of the new look Inspire Instructor Training Podcast, host Diana Todd chats with Sarah Baldock, founder of SB Driving School in Maidstone, Kent. Together they explore what it means to be a driving instructor in today’s world — balancing life, learning, and the love of helping others succeed.

Sarah shares her journey from redundancy to independence, how she uses dashcam footage to reflect on her teaching, and the unexpected lessons learned from her students. The pair also discuss social media — both the opportunities it creates and the challenges it brings — and how instructors can show up authentically online without feeling the pressure to “keep up with the Joneses.”

Key Topics:

- Using lesson recordings for self-reflection and CPD

- Creating a safe, accountable space for pupils to give feedback

- Managing negativity and staying kind on social media

- Building your confidence as a mentor and ordinary instructor

- The importance of compassion and community in the industry

Best Quotes:

“You don’t have to write a book, you don’t have to go to expos — just reflect on yourself and do the best you can. That’s enough.” – Sarah Baldock

“Being ordinary isn’t a small thing. It’s being real, relatable, and making a difference — one learner, one PDI, one mentee at a time.” – *Diana Todd*

“I watched my lessons back because I wanted to know what made me feel like that — why did that lesson go so well?” – *Sarah*

“Creating an environment where your pupils can hold you accountable is no small feat.” – *Diana*

“We need more compassion in this industry — more walking in each other’s shoes.” – *Diana*

🎧 Episode Summary:

In this powerful episode, Phil sits down with driving instructor and course creator Kate Monk, the founder of My Learner Driver – an online course designed to help parents of learner drivers become active participants in creating safer, more prepared drivers.

Kate shares her emotional ‘why’ behind the course, following the devastating loss of four young people in her local area. She highlights the untapped potential of parents to model safer driving habits, support structured private practice, and open up life-saving conversations at home.

👤 About Kate Monk:

• ADI based in West Devon
• 10+ years of experience in driver training
• Mum of two, passionate about road safety
• Creator of My Learner Driver, aiming to empower parents

🎯 Key Topics Discussed:

• Why instructors and parents must work together to create safer drivers
• The alarming reality of youth road fatalities – and why "something must change"
• How My Learner Driver helps parents:
• Refresh and upgrade their own driving attitudes
• Learn how to guide private practice safely and effectively
• Build awareness of risks and road behavior before a young person starts driving
• The idea of a "Family Graduated Driving Licence" – a personalised, voluntary contract between parent and teen
• Encouraging parents to develop commentary driving skills and model road scanning techniques
• Long-term plans to expand into school-age resources, creating early awareness
• Challenges Kate faced creating the course – from tech hurdles to battling camera nerves
• The course as a collaborative tool for instructors, not a replacement

🛠️ Instructor Takeaways:

• My Learner Driver can enhance your learners’ private practice experiences
• Support parents to become safer drivers themselves, improving outcomes for pupils
• Use the course to bridge the communication gap between home and lesson
• Consider involving parents in lessons early (including reverse roles!)

🧭 Learn More & Access the Course:

🌐 www.mylearnerdriver.co.uk

💸 Early bird price: £14.75 (75% off while course builds)

🧠 Instructor guide version also coming soon!