Welcome in loves.

Today's episode is about reclaiming your power. Today, we're looking at the words we use when our space, our truth, and our safety are being challenged.

We are role playing some scenerios where you can hear some of the boundary phrases we could use to de-escalate a situation. It doesnt have to be in a DV conflict, these also work outside the home with strangers, family, etc.

The goal of someone that is interrogating you is to make you feel like you're on trial. If you start explaining or justifying yourself—you've already lost the boundary because you've accepted that they have the right to cross-examine you. A boundary is not a request for them to change; it's a notification of what you are doing.

Of course, this may not work for you. Only you know what your situation looks like and if these will work. Be safe and do what is right for you, but you are allowed to set boundaries in any relationship or with a stranger. It can be frustrating for the other person because they want that fight. They want you to defend yourself so they can keep twisting your words.

If you need support, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233.

You are not alone. You are Invincible

Happy New Year loves!

Today, Abbie and I talk about how we (you) dont have to be okay here, at this time, in this moment, in this new year. We also discuss reflection and grief for the woman you used to be

There's a grief no one talks about—the grief of becoming someone new.

Grieving the woman who kept everyone else afloat. The woman who stayed quiet. The woman who believed if she just tried harder, things would work out.

Our lives are hectic enough, day to day, don't put so much pressure on yourself to be perfect or to finish those "resolutions". You are ok and sometimes we grow and outgrow some of those promises we make to ourselves at the beginning of the year. The goal is admirable and if you are able to achieve it, thats fantastic, but if you can't or dont thats ok too!

Traditional New Year's goals can feel cruel when you're rebuilding because they assume you're starting from a place of abundance. But some of us are starting from empty.

If your only intention this year is to survive more gently—that counts. You don't have to become more productive to be worthy. Letting go isn't weakness. It's discernment. If you're mourning what you had to release—people, dreams, timelines—your grief is valid.

You didn't fail. You listened.

Listen in as we take you through whispers of hope and love for the women who are listening.

We love you, welcome in to 2026 with us.

Morning loves!

Today Abbie and I discuss the connection between trauma and perfectionism.

Today we're unpacking where that comes from, what it looks like, and how we can actually heal from it.

Because perfectionism doesn't just appear out of nowhere. For a lot of us, it starts in childhood.

For most of us, perfectionism came from growing up feeling like nothing was ever good enough. If the environment is unpredictable—whether it's criticism, neglect, or emotional instability—you become hyper-attuned to trying to "get it right" so you don't trigger anything.

It becomes a strategy. A coping mechanism. And as kids, we don't realize we're trading childhood for control. But that need for control becomes the foundation of perfectionism later on.

When life feels chaotic—or unpredictable—you start to believe that if you can control yourself, then maybe you can control the environment. So perfection becomes a way to prevent rejection, or conflict, or abandonment. It's trauma logic. If you grew up having to manage other people's emotions, you learn to disappear so everyone else stays calm.

Therapy, EMDR, CBT, these all work, but what ever works for you, works for you. Not every modality works for everyone.

Let's talk about the 70/30 or 80/20 rule. Because this concept is life-changing for perfectionists.

The rule basically says:

70% effort is still success. 80% effort is still success.

"Perfect" doesn't exist—and it's not required.

And then there's self-compassion—which is honestly harder than any therapy session.

Don't let perfectionism move in, don't let them become your roommate.

Remember that some people won't like the new version of you. The one that has boundaries. The one that says no. The one that doesn't overperform anymore. But that's okay. Losing people who only loved your compliance is not a loss.

Let the healing part unlearn that. Realizing your voice matters. Your needs matter. Your feelings matter. And you don't have to be perfect to be loved.

Sabotage doesn't mean you're broken. It means love bumped into a wound

If you take nothing else from this episode, let it be this:

You were never meant to earn your worth.

You were born with it.

And perfectionism isn't your personality — it's the armor you wore when you had no other choice.