“This isn’t freedom, this is pandorum!” Interstellar mutants, Sophie and Caitlin, are violently awakened from cryo-sleep into the grimy, oily science fiction horror, Pandorum (2009).They are joined by local space madness expert and friend of the pod, Pat Mara. Episode may contain explicit references to Cam Gigandet.

"The rich have always sucked off low-class shit like you.” In perhaps their wettest episode yet, flesh-melding, organ-sucking socialites, Sophie and Caitlin, take on the satirical body horror film, Society (1989). Eat the rich before it’s too late!

“I’ve just been down the gullet of an interstellar cockroach.” Rotting, cockroach-filled alien meat bags, Sophie and Caitlin, take a wacky 90’s ride in the slimy galaxy of the science fiction action comedy, Men in Black (1997).

“Oh! You are sick!” After our hiatus from being stuck in a radiator for a year, WE’RE BACK and wetter than ever! Chickens ooze and mouth sperm abound as interplanetary barnacle men, Sophie and Caitlin, take care of the sick, wheezing, and weird baby that is David Lynch’s debut surrealist classic, Eraserhead (1977).

“I have confirmed that he's got an outer layer of protein polysaccharides.” On a quarantine-breaking, chest-bursting season 2 finale, space miners, Sophie and Caitlin, put on unfathomably tiny underwear and hunt down Ridley Scott’s science fiction horror classic, Alien (1979). Bask in the peak wetness of milk-filled robots, lubed-up xenomorph teeth, and all the spaceship rain water (?) you can drink! Spoilers for A24’s upcoming crossover hit, Ladybird vs. Black Phillip.

“I'm just gonna go with it, okay? Can't cheat on your fiancée with a dead girl, right?” In order to make their quota of souls for Davy Jones, sexy Italian ghosts, Sophie and Caitlin, spend the night in the creaky, rusted-out hull of the 2002 supernatural horror film, Ghost Ship. On the Ghost Ship Lollipop it’s a sweet trip to HELL!

“You have more talent in one lug nut than a lot of cars have in their whole body.” In a very horny, vehicular double-feature, sleek, streamlined, speed machines, Sophie and Caitlin, find themselves violently thrust into the erotic, chrome reverie of both David Cronenberg’s Crash (1996) and Pixar’s equally depraved Cars (2006). Amen, Ka-chow, and may God forgive us for what we are about to do.

“Man, I love being a turtle!” 30-something, sewer-dwelling, pizza-loving dudes with white belts in Karate, Sophie and Caitlin, slide shell-first into the tubular, extremely ‘90s sludge of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze (1991). Coincidentally, the secret of this podcast? Also ooze!