When was the last time you thought about your own death - not the medical decisions leading up to it, but the moment of death itself and what follows in the hours, days, and weeks afterward?

In this episode, we explore what happens after the last breath. We talk about after-death care, the options available to us, and why planning for this phase matters just as much as advance medical directives. Far from being morbid, these conversations can bring clarity, ease the burden on loved ones, and help us live with greater intention.

I’m joined once again by my friend Garrick Colwell, a certified grief educator, hospice volunteer, and co-founder of Kitchen Table Conversations, a nonprofit dedicated to empowering families to engage in meaningful end-of-life and advance-care planning discussions. Together, we unpack what after-death planning really means and how approaching it with care and openness can be a profound act of love.

What is the best way to show your love to the ones closest to you?

Now, if you have been following this podcast for a while, you know that I am not talking about romantic gestures here, we are not talking roses and gifts, romantic dates or surprises (even though we all love them obviously). No, I am talking about the end of life. And the best gift you can give your loved ones is a plan for the end of your life.

When death is near, the people around you are already carrying so much - fear, anticipatory grief, exhaustion, and love all tangled together. What end-of-life planning does is remove uncertainty. It spares them from having to guess. It frees them from making impossible decisions in moments of shock or crisis. It allows them to simply be with you - present, connected, loving - instead of overwhelmed by logistics and doubt.

Planning is not about control. It’s about care.

And here’s something I’ve learned through my work: what matters most to you about living is the clearest guide to what will matter most to you when you are dying. The way you define dignity, comfort, autonomy, faith, family, or legacy in life is the same language your dying will speak.

End-of-life planning is really an act of listening — listening to your own values, your fears, your hopes — and then translating those into clarity for the people you love.

In this episode, we’re going to talk about why planning ahead is not morbid, not pessimistic, and not giving up. It is one of the most profound expressions of love there is.

I was sitting with my mother when she passed. It was not the kind of death I would have wished for her. She was under palliative sedation, which took away all opportunities to have those final words, those final goodbyes. She seemed without pain, which was a blessing, but it was not easy to watch. I often thought about how much suffering we let our loved ones go through at the end of life. It is painful for the one passing, but just as hard for the loved ones standing by helplessly watching and wishing they could make the suffering go away.

We don’t let our pets suffer. We call the vet and make an informed decision to spare them from any unnecessary pain. Why can’t we do this for our loved ones? It seems barbaric at times because not everyone has the blessing of an easy death.

Years ago, I heard the story of Brittany Maynard, a young woman who at 29 years of age faced a terminal diagnosis and made headlines by choosing the route of Medical Aid in Dying. She captured my heart with her beauty, her bravery in standing up for her decision and in advocating for others. With the time she had left she advocated for the legalization of Medial Aid in Dying, which at that point was only available in four states.

Her story touched me deeply and that is why I am even more excited about this interview.

In today’s episode, I am speaking with Dan Diaz, Brittany’s husband, who carries on her legacy in advocating for a legalization of Medical Aid in Dying. And we are joined by Brandi Alexander, one of his colleagues at Compassion and Choices, a wonderful organization that carries forward the mission of expanding end-of life care options for everyone by going straight to the top and advocating for changes on a federal level.

We will talk about Brittany and her legacy and have a closer look at Medical Aid in Dying and how words like “euthanasia” and “physician assisted suicide” are often stigmatized and weaponized by its opponents.

I really hope this episode reaches a lot of people and opens up conversations at your dinner table, among friends and family about your own life choices.

A big THANK YOU to Reiner Erlings for the music.
www.reinererlings.com