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Living the Could Life

Living the Could Life

Written by: Robert and Theresa
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Life becomes different for those who experience later-in-life challenges. Living The Could LIfe offers tips adjusting your life so that you can still travel and do all the things that you love. No toxic positivity here, just lived experiences from hosts and guests.© 2026 Living the Could Life Hygiene & Healthy Living Social Sciences Travel Writing & Commentary
Episodes
  • Spoon Theory Part 1

    Spoon Theory Part 1
    Jul 7 2026
    How to Regulate Your Energy Level In this episode we talk about the Spoon Theory. Keeping your spoons organized is easier said than done. The practice of using spoons to keep track or your personal energy economy is not only helpful to people with chronic illness. Its usefulness extends to those who have experienced later in life disruptors. Don't forget to come pack next week to hear the rest of the story. You will learn how to set your daily spoon limit. There were also be some suggestions for applying the spoon theory to travel. Living The Could Life contains affiliate links. They don’t cost you anything, but we may earn a small commission if you use them. We may have been hosted on a trip, excursion or other travel-related event. We may have received or experienced a product for review. Any opinion is our own. AS AN AMAZON ASSOCIATE I EARN FROM QUALIFYING PURCHASES AS AN AMAZON ASSOCIATE I EARN FROM QUALIFYING PURCHASES. Transcript Click Here for Transcript Theresa: Welcome back to Living the Good Life, everyone. Today we're opening up a conversation about an idea that has entirely reshaped how millions of people talk about health, chronic illness, and daily survival. It's a framework that is so widely adopted that it's evolved into its own cultural identity. And so today we are going to talk about spoon theory. Robert: It's fascinating because if you spend any time in chronic illness circles online, you'll see people calling themselves spoonies. But if you aren't initiated, you're probably asking, why spoons? Why not batteries, dollars, fuel gauges? Theresa: And to understand that, we have to go back to a diner in 2003. The concept was created by an essayist and advocate named Christine Miserandino. I hope I pronounced that right. Christine was living with lupus, an autoimmune disease where your immune system attacks your healthy tissues like your joints, your skin, and your organs. She was sitting in a diner with a close friend who looked at her and asked what it actually felt like to have lupus. Not the clinical definition, but what it felt like to live with it day to day. Robert: And that's a notoriously hard thing to articulate. When you look healthy on the outside, people assume your internal battery works exactly like theirs. To demonstrate, Christine looked around the diner, grabbed every spoon she could find from the tables around, and handed them to her friend. She handed her 12 spoons. Theresa: And she told her friend, this is your energy for the day. For a healthy person, energy feels virtually limitless. If you want to go to the store, you just go. But for somebody with a chronic illness, every single action requires a choice. And every choice costs a physical asset. In this case, a spoon. Robert: Christine had her friend walk through a typical day. But right out of the gate, before her friend even got out of bed, Christine took a spoon away. Why? Because her friend had woken up late, or slept poorly, or woke up in pain. Then, getting dressed, that's another spoon. Taking a shower, that's two spoons. Because standing up in hot water causes dizziness. Before her friend had even left the house for work, half of her spoons were gone. Theresa: The epiphany for her friend came at the end of the simulated day. She realized that if she cooked dinner, she wouldn't have enough spoons left to wash the dishes, or drive to see a friend. She had to learn the crushing reality of economic rationing applied to her own muscles, joints, and brain cells. That's the origin of the spoon theory. It wasn't born in a laboratory. It was born out of a desperate need to make an invisible struggle visible to someone who loved her. So now we're going to talk a little about the science behind chronic fatigue and biology. So we'll talk first about energy. Because spoon theory isn't really about spoons, obviously. It's about the invisible cost of living in a body that doesn't behave the way you want it to. Robert: Exactly. For people with chronic conditions, energy isn't just feeling tired. It's metabolic load. It's inflammation. It's neurological processing. It's pain management. It's sensory regulation. It's executive function. Theresa: And the science backs this up. For example, chronic inflammation increases metabolic demand. Pain consumes cognitive resources. Neurodivergent brains use more energy for sensory filtering. Autoimmune disorders cause fatigue through cytokine activity. Depression affects dopamine and motivation pathways. Anxiety keeps the nervous system in a flight, in a fight or flight. Robert: So when someone says, I don't have the spoons, they're saying, my body is already working overtime just to exist. Now let's pivot into the mechanics. While the metaphor uses silverware, the underlying reality is governed by absolute biology. When someone says, I don't have the spoons for that, they aren't being lazy or unmotivated. Their cells are facing a literal energy crisis. Theresa: Exactly. Let's ...
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    18 mins
  • Living The Could Life Workbook Primer

    Living The Could Life Workbook Primer
    Jun 30 2026
    A Bit More About the Living The Could Life Workbook In this episode we address some questions about our guided workbook. The gentle aspect of the book led to a few inquiries about the effectiveness of this 70-dday guide. We wanted to take an episode to dive deeper into the focus of the book and the importance of reading the intro and other parts of the workbook. We talk a bit of acetylcholine, Goldilocks and how relative stress may be. Living The Could Life contains affiliate links. They don’t cost you anything, but we may earn a small commission if you use them. We may have been hosted on a trip, excursion or other travel-related event. We may have received or experienced a product for review. Any opinion is our own. AS AN AMAZON ASSOCIATE I EARN FROM QUALIFYING PURCHASES AS AN AMAZON ASSOCIATE I EARN FROM QUALIFYING PURCHASES. Transcript Click Here for Transcript Theresa: Welcome back to Living the Good Life, where we talk about real travel for real bodies. The kind of trips you can actually take, not the ones that you used to be able to take. I'm Teresa. Today we're talking about how real change happens in the brain, not through force, not through intensity, not through try harder, but through gentle, meaningful challenge. Inside the brain, there's a chemical called acetylcholine. Think of it as your brain's spotlight operator. When something is new, interesting, or requires your attention, acetylcholine turns the spotlight on and says, hey, this matters. Let's strengthen it. For example, if something is too easy, something you can do on autopilot, your brain doesn't bother requiring anything it thinks. Oh, we already know how to do this. So let's make this real with an example. People often say, I do Wyrtle every day. Isn't that good for my brain? And the answer is, it's fun, but it doesn't create any new connections. So acetylcholine barely moves. No spotlight, no rewiring. And my guess is, it makes fewer connections if you learn a second romance language. What do you think? As opposed to a Germanic language. Robert: I guess the grammar is different. Like German, the joke is they always wait for the end of the sentence. Theresa: Right. We should do that for this podcast. Make you wait. Robert: And yeah, I hear people say learning Greek is very difficult, where they say learning Spanish is a lot easier, but when you start becoming really fluent in Spanish, it's still pretty, pretty challenging, I think. Theresa: And I think other languages, like some of the Asian languages or Chinese, which is, I believe, called a tonal language, where, you know, high, high pitch. I know they use the example ma, like there's several different ways to pronounce ma, and it totally changes the meaning. But anyway, I was just wondering about that. I don't know. So, back to language. Your brain can't solve, learn, you know, a problem, the problem of learning a new language with its old circuitry. Acetylcholine spikes, the spotlight turns on, and your brain says, this is unfamiliar. I, I need to build some new circuits. Robert: Between entertainment and transformation. Theresa: Although I do think there's something good about trying to solve Wordo, even though you know how to play that, or do crossword puzzles, or things like that, at least keeps your mind active. Robert: Yeah, I like Wordo. Theresa: I do too. So, language learning is one example of a neuron builder, as we just said, but there are many other neuron builders, activities that reliably activate acetylcholine and support real change, and they're different for every person. Robert: Here are a few. Learning a new motor skill, such as knitting, tai chi, watercolor, typing with a new layout, learning a new sensory skill, photography, cooking with new spices, music training. Theresa: Oh, and you know all about the music training, right? Robert: I suffered through that long, long ago. Learning a new cognitive skill, a new software tool, a new route, a new planning method, learning a new relational skill, asking for help, setting boundaries, practicing micro-connection. Theresa: And, as I said, for some people, some of these are easy. For others of us, I mean, knitting, I remember when our first son was born, or before, I decided I would make a little afghan for him that was knitted, and it was just simple squares. Well, I had rectangles, squares, parallelograms, nothing was the same size, nothing the same shape, and, you know, but I watched people knit, and they make it look like it's the easiest thing ever. The common thread, though, with all these, they do require new maps, new patterns, and new attention. They wake up the spotlight. Robert: And they're all things you can do gently inside your wheel. Theresa: This is where gentle challenge becomes essential. It's the level where your brain says, this is new enough to matter, but safe. And safe is key. It's safe enough that I can stay open to it. Robert: Especially if you're living in a changed body. Pain,...
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    21 mins
  • Guided Immersion with ToursByLocals

    Guided Immersion with ToursByLocals
    Jun 23 2026
    A Deep Dive Into South Beach In this episode we share our experience with our wonderful guide, Ileana from ToursByLocals. It's an ideal way to learn more about South Beach. We delved into the Art Deco heritage of the town. Next time, we are there, we will be more observant noticing the small details of the Art Deco style. We usually stay in an Art Deco apartment and will look out for more details the next time that we visit South Beach Living The Could Life contains affiliate links. They don’t cost you anything, but we may earn a small commission if you use them. We may have been hosted on a trip, excursion or other travel-related event. We may have received or experienced a product for review. Any opinion is our own. AS AN AMAZON ASSOCIATE I EARN FROM QUALIFYING PURCHASES AS AN AMAZON ASSOCIATE I EARN FROM QUALIFYING PURCHASES. Transcript Click Here for Transcript Theresa: Welcome back to Living the Could Life, where we talk about real travel for real bodies. It's the kind of trips you can actually take, not the ones influencers pretend to float through and show their wonderful bodies and new outfits. We're not quite like that. Today, we are heading to South Beach, part of Miami, that's in Florida, but it's not the version you get from a brochure. We're talking about exploring it with tours by locals and why having a local guide can completely change your experience. Robert: And we're not just talking about someone who knows the area. We mean people who live the culture, understand the history, and can point out the tiny details you'd walk right past, especially on an architectural tour, which is one of the most underrated ways to understand this part of Miami. Theresa: And that is so important. I've taken other tours. I was actually on a tour from a cruise ship where the guy just said: “On the left is the ocean,on the right are the mountains.” This advice applies to other tour companies or touring guides as well. Back to South Beach. It's one of the places where you can really get along on your own. You can walk. It's very walkable. You can take the free trolley. You can take a bus. There's Uber and other shared ride services. But to really get a good look at the area, it helps to have a guide or to have done a significant amount of research. So when you go on your own, it's likely you might miss 80% of the local interesting architecture, the local facts about South Beach. A lot of people there, they go just to go swimming, go to the beach, sunbathe, hang out, eat, drink, and party. With the local guide, you get the stories behind all the neon, the Art Deco, the families who've owned and operated restaurants and hotels for years, and the preservation battles behind the Art Deco district. Robert: And let's be honest, South Beach can be overwhelming. Crowds, heat, parking, noise. A local guide cuts through all that. They know the shady spots to stand in, the quiet corners, the clean bathrooms, the places where you can actually hear yourself think. Theresa: And that was definitely good for us, especially for me. When I don't see well, it was nice to know where I can go find a restroom or find a place in the shade. And this is another good reason to hire an independent, private tour guide. So something very important is tours by locals. That's their guides. You're not just getting some random person who watched a YouTube video or an influencer Instagram to tell you about South Beach. Our guide was licensed, experienced, and the guides build their own itineraries. So we took an architectural tour, which was sponsored by Tours by Locals for us, so that we could share it with you. So the first thing to do is head to toursbylocals.com and search South Beach or whichever area you're visiting, because Tours by Locals is in many different cities. In fact, we are planning a trip to Italy and we wanted to check out some castles and it's not easy to get to by bus or transportation. So Tours by Locals was an option for us, although we found in the end, because of our castle itinerary, it was just easier for us who sometimes go off on tangents, not only on this podcast, but when researching and we decided, oh, we should just rent a car for that day, which was frightening, and it still could be frightening, but we're in a rural area, so there's no Ferraris on the highways running you off a cliff or anything like that. So we look for a private guide. Some are very good. For many of them, you can create a custom tour for yourself. But sometimes, you know, we don't want to be with somebody when we argue and complain about the driver and our backseat drivers and things like that. We have a specific object. So in that case, we should reconsider. But we did see some excellent walking tours in the town and this is in Bergamo. They look really interesting and I will say by looking at Tours by Locals, and maybe this is kind of not what they really want you to do, but you can get an idea of highlights of a town, and...
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    21 mins
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