Keywords

psychology, life transformation, mindfulness, out-of-the-boxliving, trauma, societal expectations, LGBTQ+, DBT, dialectical behavior therapy, self-exploration, personal growth

Summary

What if stepping off the beaten path wasn't just a daringadventure, but a profound way to understand yourself better? Kiki Fehling, a psychologist who traded in her traditional career for the open seas, reveals how deliberate experiments with discomfort and core principles like dialectical thinking can unlock a more authentic path. Her story of surviving a heart attack at 29, and later choosing to live on a sailboat for a year, demonstrates how breaking prescribed paths fosters self-discovery, creativity, and deep fulfillment.

In this episode, you'll discover:

This episode is perfect for anyone feeling stuck, curious about unconventional living, or seeking new ways to align their life with their true self. By sharing her own journeys - big and small - Kiki exemplifies the power of intentional risk-taking and mindful adjustment. These insights will inspire you to explore, experiment, and trust that accepting life’s fluidity is where growth and fulfillment truly reside. Prepare to see life as an ever-changing dance with nature and self - hit play to rethink what’s possible for your life.

Key topics

External life events serve as crucial catalysts for internal re-evaluation.

Internalized societal expectations often mask our true preferences.

Changing internal narratives about fixed identities can enable profound transitions.

Environments shape behavior, but internal agency enables adaptation.

Small experiments cultivate the courage to diverge from prescribed paths.

Dialectics are a mental model for fostering flexibility amid life's constant flux.

Self-compassion, mindful inquiry, and body-based practices offer a route to internal clarity.

Sound bites

"Real transformation begins when we challenge our own stories."

"Approaching change as a series of small experiments reduces fear."

"Life is unpredictable, and change is constant."

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Living, with Dr. Monica Shah

00:33 Introduction to Kiki Fehling

03:19 Kiki's Journey: From Traditional Paths to Unconventional Choices

07:44 Shifting Expectations After a Health Scare

11:23 Navigating Internalized Expectations

14:27 Building Your Life Worth Living: Lessons from Therapy

17:51 Exploring Flexibility in Life Choices

20:32 Small Steps to Big Changes: The Sailboat Decision

22:59 The Weight of Expectations: Perception vs. Reality

25:09 Embracing Uncertainty and Change

26:22 Navigating Life Choices with Dialectics

28:15 The Challenge of Open Possibilities

29:57 Awareness and Acceptance in Life Choices

31:21 Facing Challenges: Anxiety, Shame, and People-Pleasing

32:47 Opposite Action: Approaching Fear and Shame

35:19 Self-Compassion, Movement, and Interconnectedness in Healing

39:05 Understanding People-Pleasing: A Psychological Perspective

45:35 The Reality of Nuanced Identities

46:47 Living Life on a Sailboat: Embracing Adventure andChange

48:55 Overcoming Identity-Related Barriers to Change

50:45 Embracing Creativity and Nature Through Change

53:48 Finding Stability in Uncertainty

56:14 Bringing Connectedness into Structured Life

59:05 Tips for Going Off the Beaten Path

01:01:01 Where to Find Kiki

01:03:04 Outtakes

Guest links

Kiki Fehling's Website

Upcoming LGBTQ+ Mental Health Workbook, by Kiki Fehling

Kiki's Instagram

Social media handle on all platforms: @dbtkiki

Keywords

authenticity, life transitions, identity, building community, self-discovery, life lessons, resilience, self-love, living in the questions, radical acceptance, fulfillment

Summary

Dr. Monica Shah shares her journey of balancing dance, psychology, and personal growth, highlighting both the challenges and joys of living authentically. She charts her path to self-love through rebuilding her life multiple times, and she reflects on feeling lost while becoming herself. Discover insights on radical acceptance, building community, and embracing life's uncertainties.

Topics

Balancing career, passions, and personal life

The importance of nurturing self-love and authenticity

Challenges of life transitions

Overcoming changes in social circles

The role of radical acceptance in living well

Releasing control over how you think your life should go

Building authentic community

Sound bites

“You can both want something in your life and feel satisfied in your life just as it is”

“Releasing control helps you cultivate more enjoyment in the moments that you experience”

“Not needing to have an answer right now and also trusting that one will unfold with time”

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Living, with Dr. Monica Shah

03:17 My Journey: Roots and Influences

07:09 Navigating Career Choices, Fears, and Identity

08:28 Life Changing Decisions

10:15 Rebuilding Life in Vancouver

12:26 Feeling Unsettled and Getting Unstuck

13:27 Pursuing a Doctorate and New Beginnings

15:08 Support Systems and Community

16:05 Challenges of Shifting Social Circles

16:55 Embracing Sadness

17:42 Questioning Traditional Norms and Beliefs

18:37 Holding Onto Yourself Amidst Others' Voices

20:01 Living with Openness and Uncertainty

21:13 Dealing with Modern Dating

21:49 Self-Discovery, Authenticity, and Fulfillment

25:21 Radical Acceptance and Realms of Control

27:17 Gratitude and Living in the Questions

28:28 Joy and Purpose

29:35 Reflections on My Journey

Guest links

Website – www.drmonicashah.com

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/drmonicashah

Keywords

coaching, personal growth, transformation, ambition, purpose, self-doubt, ideal life, women empowerment, high achievers, entrepreneurship, community support

Summary

What happens when you have the title, the success, the achievements - and you still feel like something’s missing?

In this episode, Hannah shares her journey from thriving in a corporate career to stepping into her calling as an executive life coach. We talk about redefining ambition, navigating career transitions, and discovering a purpose that feels aligned. Hannah and I explore:

• Why success doesn’t always equal fulfillment
• The quiet “not enough” feeling that many people carry
• How your purpose isn’t fixed - it evolves as you do
• What it really means to design your ideal life (hint: it starts with your everyday experience)
• And why joy and fun are not luxuries - they’re essential

This episode is an invitation to pause, reflect, and ask yourself: Am I chasing success - or creating a life that actually feels good?

If you’re questioning your next chapter or craving deeper purpose, this conversation will remind you: you don’t have to abandon ambition - you just have to align it.

Takeaways

Achievement is often confused with self-worth.

Many high achievers struggle with feelings of not being good enough.

Community support is vital during major life transitions.

Your purpose can evolve and change over time.

Defining an ideal life involves envisioning daily experiences.

Joy and fun are essential for a fulfilling life.

Unhealthy ambition can lead to burnout and dissatisfaction.

Women often face unique pressures regarding purpose and achievement.

It's important to explore interests without the pressure of outcomes.

Sound bites

"What do you actually truly want?"

"I always confused achievement for love."

"You can shift and change your purpose."

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Living, with Dr. Monica Shah

01:57 Hannah's Journey: From Corporate to Coaching

05:41 Patterns in High Achieving Women

08:29 Societal Influences on "I'm Not Enough" Beliefs

11:33 Healthy Ambition vs. Unhealthy Ambition

14:31 Challenges in Career Transitions and Entrepreneurship

18:22 Support Systems When Going Against the Grain

22:34 Confronting Parts During Times of Change

24:16 Coping with Isolation and Financial Fears as an Entrepreneur

27:22 Understanding Purpose and Purpose Anxiety

31:29 Finding Purpose in Your Day-to-Day

34:07 Women and Purpose

35:05 Crafting Your Ideal Life

37:37 Joys of Leading An Ideal Life

40:05 Locating Your Internal Compass

42:04 Finding Community and Starting Small

44:10 Joy for the Sake of Enjoyment

45:26 Where to Find Hannah

47:11 Outtake

47:49 Subscribe

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Connect with Hannah Kissel on LinkedIn

Access the Free Career Confidence Course

Visit www.hannahkissel.com