Episodes

  • E06: Noel's House Party
    Jan 16 2026

    Welcome to Long Distance, Bit Weird--the new podcast from international comedy couple Sooz Kempner and Michael Balazo. One of them lives in the UK, the other in Canada. CAN YOU EXPLAIN THIS???

    This week Sooz tells Michael about the uniquely British phenomenon of Noel's House Party. It was the most popular Saturday night television show in the 90s, but why? Was it down to Noel's monologues, the Gotcha pranks, celebrity guests, Mr. Blobby, or Noel's impeccable hair? Listen to find out!

    PLUS: Sooz and Michael present yet another edition of the hit segment "Actual Customer Letters to Wetherspoon News," in which we read genuine letters written to a pub.

    PLUS PLUS: Sooz flashes Michael several times during the recording.

    ***

    If you like what you hear, you can support Long Distance, Bit Weird on Patreon. Subscribers will get early access to episodes, bonus content and special surprises. In fact, you can watch classic British animated film Watership Down AND the bonkers Canadian documentary Project Grizzly in FULL right now with witty/sweary commentary from Sooz and Michael.

    *** Sooz is performing a fundraiser in foggy Londontown on January 30th at the Royal Vauxhall Tavern. Get your £10 tickets to An Evening with Sooz Kempner here.

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    1 hr and 17 mins
  • E05: Canadian Divas with Andrew Johnston
    Jan 9 2026

    Welcome to Long Distance, Bit Weird--the new podcast from international comedy couple Sooz Kempner and Michael Balazo. One of them lives in the UK, the other in Canada. CAN YOU GUESS WHO IS WHO?

    This week Sooz and Michael talk to comedian Andrew Johnston about the fascinating world of Canadian divas. We all know Celine, Shania and Alanis, but who was the very first one? How are Canadian divas different from American or British ones? Is Joni Mitchell a diva? And was Stompin' Tom telling the truth when he claimed that k.d. lang jumps around like a 'rangytang? Listen up to find out!

    PLUS: Sooz and Michael present a new edition of the hit segment "Actual Customer Letters to Wetherspoon News," in which we read genuine letters written to a pub.

    Be sure to follow Andrew on Instagram and check out his most recent standup album Pomp & Circumcised.

    Here's a clip of Aretha Franklin, Céline Dion, Shania Twain, Mariah Carey, Gloria Estefan and Carole King singing/fighting over (You Make Me Feel) Like a Natural Woman from Divas Live 1998.

    ***

    If you like what you hear, you can support Long Distance, Bit Weird on Patreon. Subscribers will get early access to episodes, bonus content and special surprises. In fact, you can watch classic British animated film Watership Down AND the bonkers Canadian documentary Project Grizzly in FULL right now with witty/sweary commentary from Sooz and Michael.

    *** Sooz is performing a fundraiser in foggy Londontown on January 30th at the Royal Vauxhall Tavern. Get your £10 tickets to An Evening with Sooz Kempner here.

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    1 hr and 16 mins
  • E04: Beloved/Traumatic Children's Film Watership Down
    Jan 1 2026

    Welcome to Long Distance, Bit Weird--the new podcast from international comedy couple Sooz Kempner and Michael Balazo. One of them lives in the UK, the other in Canada. CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS?

    This week Sooz and Michael kick things off by discussing urban wildlife, reliving a recent terrible meal in Toronto and presenting a new instalment of the hit segment "Letters To Wetherspoon News".

    Then it's on to the main event, as Sooz introduces Michael to the beloved British animated film Watership Down. Although this 1978 cartoon focuses on adorable bunnies and was marketed to children, in reality, it's a harrowing story about violence, power, fascism and the struggle for survival in a world where Death is always lurking and ready to strike. Eat your heart out, Buzz Lightyear!

    ***

    If you like what you hear, you can support Long Distance, Bit Weird on Patreon. Subscribers will get early access to episodes, bonus content and special surprises. In fact, you can watch Watership Down in FULL right now with commentary from Sooz (has seen the film 3853475345 times since 1992) and Michael (is watching the film for the first time and is TROUBLED by it).

    *** Sooz is performing a fundraiser in foggy Londontown on January 30th at the Royal Vauxhall Tavern. Get your £10 tickets to An Evening with Sooz Kempner here.

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    1 hr and 19 mins
  • E03: British Football Culture with Bilal Zafar
    Dec 26 2025

    Welcome to episode three of Long Distance, Bit Weird--the new podcast from international comedy couple Sooz Kempner and Michael Balazo. One of them lives in the UK, the other in Canada. CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS?

    This week Sooz and Michael's guest is comedian Bilal Zafar, who stops by to talk about British football culture. Mascots. Chanting. The best movies about hooligans. We also spend more time than you'd expect discussing Brendan Fraser's 2022 movie The Whale. So, a little something for everyone!

    Be sure to follow Bilal on Instagram and subscribe to his Twitch channel.

    ***

    If you like what you hear, you can support Long Distance, Bit Weird on Patreon. Subscribers will get early access to episodes, bonus content and special surprises. In fact, you can watch Watership Down in FULL right now with commentary from Sooz (has seen the film 3853475345 times since 1992) and Michael (is watching the film for the first time and is TROUBLED by it).

    *** Sooz is performing a fundraiser in foggy Londontown on January 30th at the Royal Vauxhall Tavern. Get your £10 tickets to An Evening with Sooz Kempner here.

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    1 hr and 16 mins
  • E02: UK Christmas #1s with Marc Burrows Pt.2
    Dec 19 2025

    Welcome to the second episode of Long Distance, Bit Weird--the new podcast from comedy couple Sooz Kempner and Michael Balazo. One of them lives in the UK, the other in Canada. CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS?

    It's time for the second half of our chat with author, critic, comic and musician Marc Burrows about the uniquely British phenomenon of the UK Christmas #1 single. This week, we learn about the children's choir that knocked a recently-murdered John Lennon off the #1 spot; the horniest Christmas song of the 90s; Simon Cowell's Christmas war with Rage Against the Machine; and the strange state of the Christmas #1 in the age of streaming.

    Be sure to get a signed copy of Marc's new book The Story of the Christmas Number One: Mistletoe & Vinyl, which makes a great gift!

    PLUS: Stick around until the end of the episode to hear Sooz Kempner's magnificent yuletide classic "O.J.'s Free For Christmas."

    ***

    If you like what you hear, you can support Long Distance, Bit Weird on Patreon. Subscribers will get access to early episodes, bonus content and special surprises.

    ***

    Sooz is performing a fundraiser in foggy Londontown on January 30th at the Royal Vauxhall Tavern. Get your £10 tickets to An Evening with Sooz Kempner here.

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    1 hr and 10 mins
  • E01: UK Christmas #1s with Marc Burrows
    Dec 12 2025

    Welcome to the very first episode of Long Distance, Bit Weird--the new podcast from comedy couple Sooz Kempner and Michael Balazo. One of them lives in the UK, the other in Canada. CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS?

    To kick things off, Sooz and Michael welcome author, critic, comic and musician Marc Burrows to the show for the first half of a two-part episode about the uniquely British phenomenon of the UK Christmas #1 single. Did John Lennon and Yoko Ono start this trend? Did the grim state of the UK in the early 1970s inspire glittery glam classics by Wizzard and Slade? And which Christmas song has the most cocaine energy? Tune in to find out!

    Be sure to get a signed copy of Marc's new book The Story of the Christmas Number One: Mistletoe & Vinyl, which makes a great gift!

    ***

    If you like what you hear, you can support Long Distance, Bit Weird on Patreon. Subscribers will get early access to episodes, bonus content and special surprises. In fact, our second episode with Marc Burrows is up on Patreon right now.

    *** Sooz is performing a fundraiser in foggy Londontown on January 30th at the Royal Vauxhall Tavern. Get your £10 tickets to An Evening with Sooz Kempner here.

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    57 mins