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Matchmaking Secrets Revealed

Matchmaking Secrets Revealed

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 Thanks for reading! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.I believe love is the most powerful force in the world. It steadies us. It expands us. It’s the one thing success can’t replace.That’s why today’s story matters.I brought my dear friend and now business partner, Julie Spangler, onto Rise to More because she’s quietly changed thousands of lives—with a craft most people dismiss until they’re exhausted enough to admit they need it: high-end matchmaking.Julie spent 20+ years in corporate America (HR and marketing at major financial institutions), always with an eye for people. Connecting wasn’t a job; it was her reflex. In 2012, she did the unthinkable: walked away from the safe path and built a matchmaking firm grounded in values—privacy, discernment, and real care.Years later, I joined her as co-owner of Selective Connections because what she does is rare—and it works.Why apps are failing serious peopleDating apps had their moment. For many professionals, that moment is over. The swipe culture rewards speed, not sincerity. It’s instant gratification dressed up as connection. It leaves people lonelier and more guarded than before.The clients we serve can’t risk their privacy, their reputation, or their time. They outsource everything that matters—legal, finance, health. Why wouldn’t they bring in an expert for the most important decision of their life?What makes this differentJulie’s approach isn’t a numbers game. It’s deeply personal and fiercely intentional.* White-glove, not wild guesses. Every client goes through a thorough, human process. Interviews. Coaching. A bespoke profile crafted with professional photography. Alignment on values, lifestyle, non-negotiables.* Curated candidates. She meets, screens, and runs background checks on everyone in the ecosystem. Many arrive by referral. No randos. No mystery motives.* You choose. She presents a slate of excellent fits with the why behind each one. Both people opt in. No blind collisions.* Intuition with data. This is where she shines. The strategy is tight. The instincts are world-class. I’ve watched her connect two people before their paperwork was finished—and they were on a plane together a week later.And then there’s the part you won’t see on a website: men crying on the phone because someone finally helped them find their person. Widows in their 50s who thought love had passed them by—now planning a second act with a partner who gets it. Those calls matter.The thing no one tells you about “chemistry”We’ve been sold a movie montage. Fireworks. Sparks. Epic grand gestures. Here’s the truth: many of Julie’s strongest matches started as “meh” first dates.Sparks fizzle. The slow burn endures.First dates are awkward. Nerves can masquerade as “no spark.” The best relationships often come from a second or third date—where two people relax long enough to show who they really are. Compatibility, kindness, shared values, similar pace of life—these are the building blocks of a relationship that survives career pivots, illness, kids, and ordinary Tuesday nights.What men and women get wrong* Women: a 50-item checklist and a demand for instant fireworks. The right man may not arrive with cinematic flair. He might arrive as stability, respect, and consistent pursuit.* Men: underestimating how much warmth and kindness matter. The trait men consistently name as most attractive inside our process? Kindness.Both: stop trying to win the first hour. Learn if this person can be your friend, your sanctuary, your mirror—over time.Readiness matters more than resumeA lot of our clients have crushed every other area of life. That doesn’t mean something’s “wrong” because love hasn’t landed yet. It often means they built the career first and finally made space for the relationship.Readiness looks like this:* Willing to be seen and to listen.* Open to being coached.* Willing to date with curiosity, not cynicism.* Clear on values; flexible on packaging.If you’re resigned and bitter, that’s a different project. Hope is not naïve. It’s the door you walk through.Integrity is the lineThis industry, like coaching, attracts both healers and hustlers. We see the damage from the latter. Here’s where we stand:* No clients who are separated or married. Period.* We pass on people who don’t align with our values—even if they can pay.* We protect privacy like a sacred trust.* We say the hard thing when it’s the right thing.That’s why clients from twelve years ago still refer their friends. We sleep well at night.Two ways to work with us1) Private, one-to-one matchmakingWhite-glove, bespoke search. We build your profile, recruit precisely for you, present curated matches you approve, and even arrange first dates. High-touch and highly effective.2) VIP DatabaseA database membership with one guaranteed match drawn from our vetted community, plus the opportunity to be ...
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