What do you do if you have religious trauma, but don't want to abandon your faith?

Catherine Quiring is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor who specializes in helping ex-evangelicals overcome religious trauma. In this episode, she shares what that looked like for her, how to know if you have limiting thoughts leftover from controlling doctrine, how to keep your faith while you separate from systems of control & how to find your own thoughts in a sea of “shoulds.”

This episode originally aired June 12, 2023

If you like this episode, you’ll also like episode 156 with Joshua Harris: SHOULD SEX BE SAVED FOR MARRIAGE?

Guest:

https://www.instagram.com/catherinequiring

https://www.cqcounseling.com/

https://www.facebook.com/cqcounseling

Host:

https://www.meredithforreal.com/

https://www.instagram.com/meredithforreal/

meredith@meredithforreal.com

https://www.youtube.com/meredithforreal

https://www.facebook.com/meredithforrealthecuriousintrovert

Sponsors:

https://www.jordanharbinger.com/starterpacks/

https://www.historicpensacola.org/about-us/

01:00 — Why harmful church experiences are more common than we think

03:00 — Fear tactics, hell doctrine & covert narcissism

04:00 — Codependent faith & the pressure to feel God

05:00 — OCD spirituality & micromanaging your soul

06:00 — When people become “projects,” not peers

07:00 — Catherine’s story: trauma at seven

11:00 — Deconstruction vs. deconversion (not the same)

12:00 — “You’re in or you’re out” — high-control community dynamics

13:00 — Wheaton College & the first cracks in certainty

14:00 — Reimagining God: from judge to shepherd

15:00 — Releasing harmful doctrine & reclaiming the divine

16:00 — Why this healing can take 20 years

17:00 — Step negative three: just notice how you feel

18:00 — Interoception vs. judgment

19:00 — Exploring Christian possibilities (hello, Jinger Duggar)

20:00 — Interoception vs. introspection

21:00 — Digging yourself out vs. listening to your body

22:00 — Your body has a language

23:00 — The painful “playback” of manipulation

24:00 — Talking to yourself like a friend would

25:00 — Reclaiming the parts that helped you survive

26:00 — When submission theology hits marriage

27:00 — The hidden pressure on men to be “the voice of God”

28:00 — Boundaries, anxiety & interrupting the cycle

29:00 — When honesty strengthens (or exposes) a marriage

30:00 — Practical healing recap

31:00 — Resources for staying Christian — but freer

32:00 — Books that unlock self-trust

33:00 — Curiosity as a spiritual superpower

34:00 — The Order of St. Hildegard & anti-oppressive faith

35:00 — Finding community after deconstruction

36:00 — Where to connect with Catherine

Request to join my private Facebook Group, MFR Curious Insiders https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1BAt3bpwJC/

If you're not happy, it means something is wrong ... right?

Dr. Loretta Breuning is a PhD researcher & author. Since becoming unconvinced by prevailing theories on human behavior, she has researched everything from monkeys to the mafia. Now she’s not only helping people hack their brain, she’s shedding light on how the altruistic outlook may be popular, but ultimately damaging.

In this episode, she explains WHY we believe that if we are unhappy something is wrong, how simply “getting back to nature” can backfire, the problem with happiness studies & (this is important) how to start your own happiness plan.

This episode originally aired March 7, 2024.

If you like this episode, you’ll also like episode 275: IS AMBITION ANTI-HAPPINESS? REASONABLE HAPPINESS & FETISHIZING WEALTH

Guest:

https://innermammalinstitute.org/

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-happy-brain/id1377502232

https://www.instagram.com/inner.mammal.inst/

https://innermammalinstitute.org/course/

https://www.facebook.com/LorettaBreuningPhD

https://twitter.com/lbreuning

Host:

https://www.meredithforreal.com/

https://www.instagram.com/meredithforreal/

meredith@meredithforreal.com

https://www.youtube.com/meredithforreal

https://www.facebook.com/meredithforrealthecuriousintrovert

Sponsors:

https://www.jordanharbinger.com/starterpacks/

https://www.historicpensacola.org/about-us/

02:05 — Rousseau’s “nature is happy” legacy

02:48 — Why academia spreads the meme

03:36 — The medical model of unhappiness

04:18 — Blaming society vs building skills

07:24 — Hunter-gatherer reality check

09:58 — Culture shapes how we report happiness

10:32 — Why Americans hesitate to say “I’m happy”

11:32 — Cortisol: when expectations miss

13:42 — Childhood culture becomes adult politics

14:06 — Status envy in academia

15:10 — Moral superiority as serotonin

15:48 — The “I did it the right way” trap

16:38 — Everyone thinks they’re the overlooked underdog

18:06 — Popularity: the motivator no one admits

19:02 — How biology gets politicized

23:18 — Why therapy and religion sell unhappiness

24:08 — The media and your happy chemicals

25:02 — News as a brain-chemical cocktail

31:04 — How not to throw the baby out with the bathwater

34:08 — Reward yourself like animal training

34:42 — Train your inner mammal

Request to join my private Facebook Group, MFR Curious Insiders https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1BAt3bpwJC/

How old is the oldest vibrator? Does self-pleasure steal affection from your partner?

Carol Queen has a Ph.D. in Sexology & a passion for pleasure. She is the curator of the Good Vibrations Antique Vibrator Museum in San Francisco, CA. In this episode, she shares the origin story of the museum & explains how vibrators went from doctor’s offices to bedside tables. She also explains why partner sex & self-sex are different activities, why pleasure should be a part of sex ed & addresses common vibrator concerns.

This episode originally aired March 7, 2022.

If you like this episode, you’ll also like episode 214: WHAT ARE RULES OF MONOGAMY? THE PSYCHOLIGIST SWINGER

Guest:

http://antiquevibratormuseum.com/

https://carolqueen.com/

https://twitter.com/carolqueen

BlueSky @carolqueen.bsky.socia

Host:

https://www.meredithforreal.com/

https://www.instagram.com/meredithforreal/

meredith@meredithforreal.com

https://www.youtube.com/meredithforreal

https://www.facebook.com/meredithforrealthecuriousintrovert

Sponsors:

https://www.jordanharbinger.com/starterpacks/

https://www.historicpensacola.org/about-us/

01:20 — What is a sexologist, actually?

04:45 — How the Antique Vibrator Museum started

07:35 — The one vibrator with a confirmed sex history

08:05 — The hippie-built DIY vibrator story

08:55 — What early vibrators looked like

09:30 — Hand-crank vibrators before electricity

11:10 — Cleopatra’s bee vibrator myth

11:55 — Papyrus boxes, gourds, and historical speculation

14:20 — Treating “hysteria” with vibration

18:05 — Why vibrators beat toasters in 1917

18:45 — What this says about women’s pleasure historically

19:35 — Was sex really that bad back then?

21:00 — The orgasm gap explained

22:20 — The wandering uterus theory (yes, really)

23:10 — Masturbation stigma and cultural norms

25:30 — Fear: “Will a vibrator replace my partner?”

26:40 — Fear: “Will I damage my nerves?”

27:20 — Temporary numbness vs long-term harm

28:05 — Feeling intimidated choosing a vibrator

30:05 — Where to get trustworthy vibrator guidance

30:40 — Good Vibrations resources and educators

31:15 — Carol’s book and recommended reading

31:55 — Where to follow Dr. Carol Queen

32:30 — Final thoughts on curiosity, pleasure, and stigma

Request to join my private Facebook Group, MFR Curious Insiders https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1BAt3bpwJC/

Dr. Neil Nathan is Board Certified in Family Medicine and Pain Management as well as a Founding Dip-low-mitt of the American Board of Integrative Holistic Medicine & International Society for Environmentally Acquired Illnesses.

He spent over 50 years treating patients with chronic conditions related to environmental factors & now dedicates himself consulting & mentorship, writing several books for both health care professionals & patients.

In this episode, you’ll hear mold allergy vs illness, what symptoms mold toxicity can imitate, how to really test & what healing protocol can look like.

If you liked this episode, you’ll also like episode 234: FELON TO MILLION DOLLAR BUSINESS OWNER [REMASTERED]

Guest: https://neilnathanmd.com/

Host:

https://www.meredithforreal.com/

https://www.instagram.com/meredithforreal/

meredith@meredithforreal.com

https://www.youtube.com/meredithforreal

https://www.facebook.com/meredithforrealthecuriousintrovert

Sponsors:

https://www.jordanharbinger.com/starterpacks/

https://www.historicpensacola.org/about-us/

01:35 — Conditions mold mimics

04:00 — “It’s not psychological”

05:00 — Why medicine lags behind

06:00 — The mold hoax narrative

08:00 — How common mold really is

11:00 — Mold and Alzheimer’s risk

12:00 — GI symptoms decoded

13:00 — Fatigue that doesn’t resolve

18:00 — Mold toxicity vs allergy

19:00 — Immune system tipping points

20:00 — Stress, illness, and timing

21:00 — Hive consciousness explained

22:00 — Candida cravings aren’t you

23:00 — Zombie mold metaphor

24:00 — EMFs enter the picture

27:00 — Testing for mold toxicity

38:00 — Low-carb for mold healing

41:00 — Alcohol’s real impact

42:00 — Magnesium’s critical role

43:00 — Chronic deficiency mystery

47:00 — Hormones after mold

48:00 — Limbic system overload

49:00 — Vagus nerve dysfunction

50:00 — Mast cell activation

51:00 — Rebooting nervous systems

52:00 — Brain retraining programs

58:00 — Detox hygiene at home

59:00 — Why bleach backfires

01:00:00 — Dust vs airflow

01:01:00 — Water damage vigilance

01:02:00 — Detox tools worth using

01:04:00 — Balance over biohacking

01:05:00 — What healing really requires

01:06:00 — Living with intention

01:07:00 — Final takeaways & resources

Request to join my private Facebook Group, MFR Curious Insiders https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1BAt3bpwJC/

When the Redditor known as Incrediblyshinyshart lost part of his leg in a motorcycle accident & had to have it amputated, he made an unusual choice – to eat it. He shares his thoughts on mourning, cannibalism & why eating part of his own body was life-changing.

This episode originally aired July 4, 2022.

If you liked this episode, you’ll also like episode 234: FELON TO MILLION DOLLAR BUSINESS OWNER [REMASTERED]

Guest: https://www.reddit.com/user/incrediblyShinyShart

Host:

https://www.meredithforreal.com/

https://www.instagram.com/meredithforreal/

meredith@meredithforreal.com

https://www.youtube.com/meredithforreal

https://www.facebook.com/meredithforrealthecuriousintrovert

Sponsors:

https://www.jordanharbinger.com/starterpacks/

https://www.historicpensacola.org/about-us/

00:00 — A crash that changes everything

02:24 — Why incineration felt wrong

04:26 — The taxidermy dead end

05:15 — Dark humor as grief language

06:07 — The ethical cannibalism question

06:35 — An opportunity you’ll never get again

07:00 — A chef, a freezer, and surreal logistics

07:58 — A meal that felt like ceremony

09:47 — Becoming part of the people who love you

10:15 — Dark jokes before the first bite

12:55 — No hesitation at the table

14:42 — Ancient rituals and modern meaning

15:45 — Growth through the unthinkable

16:47 — Facing mortality head-on

17:10 — Life keeps getting better

18:40 — Was the dinner essential?

19:32 — Connection as closure

19:58 — Looking back with fondness

20:22 — Final thoughts from Shiny

Request to join my private Facebook Group, MFR Curious Insiders https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1BAt3bpwJC/

Can you retire early from a normal income? How do you buy back your time?

Lauren & Steven Keys of Trip of a Lifestyle share what inspired them to retire at age 29, how they did it on average incomes, why they don’t track their monthly expenses & the concept of buying back your time. They also share the practical way they stay motivated in the FIRE (financial independence retire early) movement.

This episode originally aired February 6, 2023. Stay till the end for an update on what they are doing now!

If you liked this episode, you’ll also like episode 243: WHAT’S THE POINT OF FINANCIAL FREEDOM (REMASTERED)

Guests:

https://www.tripofalifestyle.com/

https://crambetter.com/

https://www.tiktok.com/@tripofalifestyle

https://www.instagram.com/tripofalifestyle/

Host:

https://www.meredithforreal.com/

https://www.instagram.com/meredithforreal/

meredith@meredithforreal.com

https://www.youtube.com/meredithforreal

https://www.facebook.com/meredithforrealthecuriousintrovert

Sponsors:

https://www.jordanharbinger.com/starterpacks/

https://www.historicpensacola.org/about-us/

02:15 — Life without lifestyle creep

04:00 — Buying time instead of stuff

05:10 — The road trip that changed everything

10:45 — What “retired” really means

15:35 — Do people regret working less?

16:45 — The number you actually need

18:05 — The 4% rule explained

21:00 — Living with less, choosing more

22:30 — Is early retirement all sacrifice?

25:30 — Buying decades of your life back

30:00 — Tracking progress without obsessing

31:45 — The Hawaii six-month experiment

34:00 — Practicing retirement early

38:00 — Cost per unit time

48:30 — Van life math

54:00 — Why net worth tells the story

56:00 — Avoiding money shame spirals

62:00 — The “sweep away” method

70:00 — When partners aren’t aligned

72:00 — Visualizing progress like a fundraiser

86:00 — Free tools that change lives

88:00 — Where to find their roadmap

90:00 — Life after early retirement

92:00 — Four years later: what changed

104:00 — Entrepreneurship without desperation

118:00 — Seeing the world as business owners

120:00 — Automation as the next chapter

122:00 — Choosing presence over escape

Request to join my private Facebook Group, MFR Curious Insiders https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1BAt3bpwJC/

Felipe Muñoz is the owner of Empathic Practice, a holistic stress management clinic. He combines his Masters in positive psychology, 20 years of marketing experience, & decade of business branding with hundreds of hours teaching meditation to coach professionals, train corporate teams & support individuals on living a more mindful and meaningful life. In this episode, we explore stress as an addiction, identity & community & the real strategy behind ending the chaos.

If you liked this episode, you’ll also like episode 298: ANXIETY IN YOUR FRIDGE?! Reducing Anxiety Through Food

Guest:

https://empathicpractice.us/

https://www.instagram.com/empathicpractice/

https://www.youtube.com/c/empathicpractice

https://www.facebook.com/empathicpractice

Host:

https://www.meredithforreal.com/

https://www.instagram.com/meredithforreal/

meredith@meredithforreal.com

https://www.youtube.com/meredithforreal

https://www.facebook.com/meredithforrealthecuriousintrovert

Sponsors:

https://www.jordanharbinger.com/starterpacks/

https://www.historicpensacola.org/about-us/

02:28 — Social media and the illusion of being “together”

05:04 — Burnout vs paralysis: the stress bell curve

07:02 — Is stress coming from inside or outside you?

11:00 — Midlife stress and the “how did I get here?” moment

14:06 — Stress as social currency and community glue

15:08 — Why misery bonds faster than joy

16:10 — Gossip, belonging, and opting out of stress culture

17:02 — Are we addicted to stress?

19:02 — When calm feels more threatening than chaos

20:04 — Inverted resilience and self-sabotage cycles

22:02 — The “leg day” metaphor for emotional health

24:02 — Why breath is the first skill we skip

27:04 — Eating lunch at your desk: stress score = 10

28:06 — Clutter as a mirror of the mind

29:04 — Scrolling before bed and delayed nervous systems

30:06 — Multitasking: survival skill or stress amplifier?

31:08 — Eustress: how to tell good stress from bad

34:06 — Self-care vs escapism: intention matters

35:06 — Rituals, routines, and sacred coffee

36:06 — Psychedelics, big resets, and what comes after

37:06 — Are you actually stressed — or just identifying as stressed?

38:06 — Do we need therapy… or just a hobby?

39:06 — Curiosity as a human survival trait

41:06 — What Empathic Practice really offers

Request to join my private Facebook Group, MFR Curious Insiders https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1BAt3bpwJC/

Dr. David Tolin is the Founder & Director of the Anxiety Disorders Center at the Institute of Living, the author of over 200 scientific journal articles & even received the Award for Lifetime Contribution to Psychology from the CT Psychological Association, but you may recognize him from the reality TV series Hoarders, The OCD Project or My Shopping Addiction. In this episode he shares what diagnosing hoarding disorder looks like, what brain scans reveal & the myth of trauma.

This episode originally aired November 27, 2023.

If you liked this episode, you’ll also like episode 208: TRIGGER WARNINGS: MAKING US FRAGILE OR HELPING US HEAL?

Guest:

https://drtolin.com/home

https://www.linkedin.com/in/drdavidtolin/

https://a.co/d/hDRDee8

Host:

https://www.meredithforreal.com/

https://www.instagram.com/meredithforreal/

meredith@meredithforreal.com

https://www.youtube.com/meredithforreal

https://www.facebook.com/meredithforrealthecuriousintrovert

Sponsors:

https://www.jordanharbinger.com/starterpacks/

https://www.historicpensacola.org/about-us/

02:38 — How common hoarding really is

04:05 — When clutter ≠ hoarding disorder

05:00 — Why letting go feels painful

06:02 — What actually causes hoarding

08:00 — Attention, cognition, vulnerability

10:00 — Why empathy changes everything

11:05 — ADHD, brain scans, and myths

14:10 — The “salience network” explained

15:05 — Why clutter fades into the background

16:00 — When every object feels urgent

17:05 — Decision-making becomes unbearable

18:10 — Avoidance as survival strategy

20:00 — Why animal hoarding is different

23:00 — What people actually hoard

24:00 — When hoarding becomes extreme

25:10 — Digital hoarding counts too

26:05 — Emails, photos, and emotional pain

27:00 — Objects as identity

30:15 — The downward arrow technique

31:20 — Why therapists and patients talk past each other

32:15 — Anthropomorphizing our stuff

33:20 — Why kids’ toys still haunt us

34:15 — Grief as an accelerant

35:20 — Stuff as memory protection

36:10 — Acquiring as mood regulation

37:10 — When retail therapy backfires

38:15 — Emotion regulation gone wrong

39:10 — Compassion without enabling

40:05 — Boundaries that don’t abandon

41:10 — Why insight takes repetition

42:15 — Therapy isn’t one magic moment

43:10 — How to stay anchored in reality

44:05 — Questions that interrupt impulse

45:10 — Why self-questioning works better

46:15 — What “success” actually looks like

47:15 — Managing vs curing hoarding

48:10 — Exposure therapy in real life

49:10 — TJ Maxx as a trigger

50:05 — Sitting with discomfort on purpose

51:10 — Rewriting your relationship with stuff

52:05 — How hoarding changed his own habits

53:10 — Keeping what truly serves you

54:05 — Buried in Treasures and next steps

55:10 — Final reflections on stuff and self

Request to join my private Facebook Group, MFR Curious Insiders https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1BAt3bpwJC/