This Q & A session was recorded on January 26, 2023 within the Mindful Dating Coaching & Events Meetup Group lead by Larissa Hill.  The following recording is a Q & A discussion about singlehood, dating, intimacy, and relationships that is driven by submitted questions. If you'd like to submit a question, please do so here: https://forms.gle/a86wF6KyncWnw5vZ6. We have a great time talking about life and dating. Check it out and let us know what you think! Thanks!

My life would have been completely different if I had asked myself these questions all the way back in 2001! Of course hindsight + 22 years of personal growth is 20/20 but if I can help you NOT invest in a toxic relationship that leads to self-abandonment - the earlier the better!! In this episode, I offer 5 filters to run your relationship through to make sure it’s at least “level 1” healthy. There are other things to consider but if these 5 things are in your relationship, you better be pulling the fire alarm to either talk it out or get out!

Here are some quotes from the episode:

• Texting takes 3 seconds.
• An unstirred pot takes the nutrients and “good stuff” and puts it at the bottom. So when you want some nutritious, life giving energy, you’re getting the watered down version. Stirring the pot is the work that needs to be done regularly to keep it fresh, rich, and wholesome.
• There is no amount of encouragement from you that will get them to change into the person you want them to be. Your delusion of who they are is on you. It’s because you don’t respect the person that they actually are.
• If you aren’t seeing emotional connection improving each time that you’re getting together, it is not and will not be available for you in the future.
• I fully understand if you have parts that are very proud of yourself for working hard and making the relationship “work”! However, no amount of time or effort will get them to see your real worth.

Sometimes seeing the questions on paper helps us be more honest with ourselves. It slows our mind down enough to actually get in touch with our truest response. So I have created a reflection worksheet (pdf) to help you give quality thought to your relationship and these filters. You can find the download at the end of this survey (that inquires about what you REALLY want in the single/dating world). Make sure your pop-up blocker doesn't block it! 

If you have any general comments, concerns, or suggestions, please either contact me through my website of www.DatingIRL.net, this podcast's post on my social media pages: IG: @dating_i.r.l or @the_mindful.dating_coach, Facebook: @DatingIRLChicago, Linked In: Dating IRL or you can write me at larissa@DatingIRL.net with details. Thank you so much!

In my interview with Stacy, she shares her journey through a limiting, people-pleasing childhood that sets the stage for being invisible and taken advantage of in her marriage. Seeing and naming red flags was a strength of Stacy’s and although aware of her needs, her internal confidence, loyalty, and hope for a better future kept her exhausted and dismissed for 21 years. Stacy’s honest and reflective story will resonate with a lot of us! Some insightful comments Stacy made are:

• “In a Greek family, girls are expected to stay at home with the mom.”
• “He always came off very confident and classy.”
• “I felt invisible and it bothered me but I didn’t want to be the possessive, insecure girlfriend.”
• “When I wanted to talk about something, I wasn’t allowed to.”
• “That’s when I started to really see red flags and I wanted to postpone the wedding.”
• “There was a porn addiction going on.”
• “I fell into the empath trap of…turn the other cheek. Our faith teaches us to have compassion, empathy, and forgive.”
• “There was always something that he would sell me on…when is it ever enough?”
• “I have a voice in my family now.”
• “I haven’t settled and I don’t want to settle.”
• “I’m all over this love-bombing situation.”

We hope you enjoy hearing about Stacy's story. If you feel a special curiosity or connection with Stacy or have any general comments, concerns, or suggestions, please either contact me through my website of www.DatingIRL.net, this podcast's post on my social media pages: IG: @dating_i.r.l or @the_mindful.dating_coach, Facebook: @DatingIRLChicago, or Linked In: Dating IRL or you can write me at larissa@DatingIRL.net with details. Thank you so much!

If you'd like to join the waitlist to be interviewed for this podcast, please submit initial details at the following link: https://form.jotform.com/220737535002043. Thank you & hopefully we'll connect again soon. =)