Reflections; on a Self Love Journey

The Power of the Pause on A Year of Self-Welcoming, Self-Love & Inner Wisdom

Episode 52 marks one full year of podcasting, and instead of rushing ahead, this episode was crafted from a mindful pause. A reflection on fear, self-sabotage, emotional intelligence, neuroscience, self-love, and the inner Sage that guides us home to ourselves.

This episode weaves poetry, personal storytelling, philosophy, neuroscience, coaching insights, and poetic reflection to explore how our inner voices shape our lives, and how learning self-compassion, emotional regulation, and mindful self-care builds the strongest foundation of all: self-preservation through self-love.

This is not a journey of “self-help,” but a self-welcoming journey, toward peace, resilience, meaning, and living in alignment with who you truly are.

Quotes from the Episode

• “No one teaches us how to talk to ourselves — and yet it shapes our entire life.”
• “Knowledge is only powerful when it’s applied.”
• “Knowing is 20%. Action is 80%.”
• “Labelling is disabling.”
• “The secret to change is to focus all your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new.” Socrates
• “Peace is priceless.”
• “No one drives me crazy unless I hand them my keys.”
• “Self-compassion softens the harsh edges inside you.”
• “Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose.”

Key Themes Explored

• The power of the pause and reflection
• Self-sabotaging inner voices (Victim, Pleaser, Stickler, Avoider)
• Emotional intelligence; EQ vs IQ
• Fear as a system of control vs inner awareness as liberation
• Ancient wisdom (Buddha, Confucius, Lao Tzu, Socrates)
• Neuroscience, neuroplasticity, and nervous system balance
• Fight-or-flight vs rest-and-digest
• Gut health, hormones, and emotional wellbeing
• Mirror work and healing unfelt pain
• Writing, creativity, and finding meaning
• Living in alignment with values
• Self-love as self-preservation

Key Takeaways

• Self-love is not indulgence, it is self-preservation
• Fear keeps us stuck; awareness sets us free
• Emotional intelligence is foundational to a fulfilling life
• Our brains are malleable, what’s learned can be relearned
• Healing happens through practice, not just knowledge
• Peace comes from within, not from controlling circumstances
• Self-compassion creates the safety needed for growth
• When we stop fighting ourselves, transformation begins
• Meaning and purpose make life bearable, and beautiful

Your time to Reflect & Journal

1. What if the voice sabotaging you isn’t the truth, but an outdated coping mechanism?
2. What happens when you stop fighting yourself and start listening to your inner Sage?
3. How would your life change if you met yourself with unconditional love instead of judgment?

Final Note

This episode is a celebration, of consistency, courage, healing, and a year of showing up. A huge thank you to everyone who has been involved, for their support and encouaragement, and a huge thank you to you my listeners for tuning in and turning up for you.

With a reminder that you matter, that your inner wisdom is real, and that choosing self-love is a revolutionary act in a fear-driven world.

If you’d like to explore positive intelligence coaching and mental fitness, you’re invited to reach out to me via email

As always, take care of you.

You matter. Today, tomorrow, and every day.

Email me hello@pacoaching.co.uk to find out more about positive intelligence coaching, mental fitness and the journey of self love, and to book a free no obligation discovery call

Building Habits, Building You

In this episode, Patricia dives into the powerful connection between self-care, identity, and habit formation. You’ll learn why habits, not resolutions, shape your future, how to become the “anthropologist” of your own life, and how tiny, consistent actions create long-term transformation. With insights from coaching, behavioural science, and personal stories, this episode guides you toward building habits that support a more intentional, compassionate, and fulfilling life.

Key Takeaways

• Habits shape your reality; Research suggests nearly half of our daily actions are habitual, often unconscious, and can steer us toward growth or self-sabotage.
• Interference holds us back; Coaching helps uncover the internal patterns (beliefs, fears, conditioning) that block your potential.
• Start small; Micro-habits bypass resistance and help your brain form new neural pathways with ease.
• Identity matters; As James Clear notes, habits stick when anchored to who you want to become, not just what you want to achieve.
• The RAS is always listening; Your brain filters information for whatever you focus on, so feed your intentions, not your fears.
• Habit formation takes time; The “21-day rule” is a myth. Research shows habits can take anywhere from 18 to 254 days to become automatic.
• Consistency over perfection; Missing a day doesn’t break a habit, but quitting on yourself does.
• Track, celebrate, repeat; Small wins activate dopamine and reinforce your identity as someone who follows through.
• Gentleness is non-negotiable; Long-term sustainable change is built on self-love, patience, and awareness, not pressure.

Quote;

“People do not decide their futures, they decide their habits — and their habits decide their futures.” — F.M. Alexander

Referenced Research

Habit Formation Research

• Phillippa Lally et al. (2009), University College London; Study finding an average of 66 days to reach habit automaticity (range 18–254 days).

Tiny Habits / Behaviour Design

• BJ Fogg, Stanford University — Behaviour Model and the science behind tiny habits.

Identity-Based Habits

• James Clear — Book, Atomic Habits

Coaching Foundations

• Timothy Gallwey — “Performance - Interference = Potential – Interference”
• Positive Intelligence - https://www.positiveintelligence.com/

Final Message

This year, choose habits that honour who you are becoming. Start small, stay curious, celebrate every win, and build a foundation of self-love that can support meaningful, lasting change.

You matter, today, this year, next year and every year.

Email me at hello@pacoaching.co.uk

Website www.pacoaching.co.uk