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What happens when leather, kink, and queer mental health sit at the same table?

In this powerful episode of The Mindfully Gay Podcast, John and Jerry welcome "Mr. X," the current Mr. Leather Salt Lake, for a candid conversation about leather culture, BDSM, and why these communities are about so much more than just sex. Together, they explore how leather spaces can become powerful hubs for community, healing, and radical self-expression--especially for queer folks who have never felt like they truly fit in.

Mr. X shares the story of resurrecting Salt Lake City Leather Pride after COVID and how the event has quickly become both celebration and service, raising over $10,000 for UAF Legacy Health. He traces the roots of gay leather culture back to World War II veterans in cities like San Francisco and Chicago, explaining how discharged and outed soldiers found belonging in motorcycle clubs, leather bars, and brotherhoods that offered structure, intimacy, and unapologetic sexuality.

The conversation then moves into the heart of kink: bondage, power exchange, fetish, and BDSM as forms of radical sexual self-expression. Mr. X and the hosts talk about how some people use kink to reclaim power from past trauma and reshape old stories in a way that is conscious, consensual, and embodied. They emphasize the importance of enthusiastic consent, negotiation, and clear communication through tools like safe words, the stoplight system (green/yellow/red), SSC (Safe, Sane, Consensual), and RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink).

John and Jerry contrast this with hookup app culture, where boundaries and consent are often assumed rather than discussed. Mr. X explains how leather and kink communities can model healthier sexual communication for the broader queer world by centering education, ethics, and community accountability. He talks about local classes on bondage, spanking, fisting, and impact play that are designed to prioritize safety, sober participation, and emotional wellbeing.

The episode also highlights the role of leather and kink communities in public health and advocacy--from Monkeypox vaccination drives and HIV/PrEP education to connecting folks with queer-affirming care at places like UAF Legacy Health. Throughout, inclusion is a constant theme: John and Jerry reflect on Leather Pride as a space where skinny twinks, bears, trans masc folks, and everyone in between are welcomed, seen, and celebrated.

As Mr. Leather, Mr. X views his title as a responsibility: to fundraise, to educate, to mentor younger kinksters, to show up at rallies, and to use his privilege in service of marginalized members of the community. The episode closes with an invitation to anyone listening who feels curious, ashamed, or alone in their desires--reminding them that kink and leather spaces can be a gateway to deeper connection, better sex, and a more honest relationship with yourself.

If you've ever wondered what really happens in leather spaces, how to approach kink safely, or how consent can transform your sex life, this episode is for you.

Contact Mr. X:

Ig: Mr.x.bound
Slcleatherpride.com
Uaflegacyhealth.com
SLC-pride.com

@mindfully_gay (Instagram)

Send us a text

What happens when leather, kink, and queer mental health sit at the same table?

In this powerful episode of The Mindfully Gay Podcast, John and Jerry welcome "Mr. X," the current Mr. Leather Salt Lake, for a candid conversation about leather culture, BDSM, and why these communities are about so much more than just sex. Together, they explore how leather spaces can become powerful hubs for community, healing, and radical self-expression--especially for queer folks who have never felt like they truly fit in.

@mindfully_gay (Instagram)

Send us a text

Why is it so hard to just say "hi"? In this episode of The Mindfully Gay Podcast, John and Jerry take a thoughtful, honest look at kindness in queer male spaces--from the gym locker room to the neighborhood sidewalk to dating and hookup apps. They talk about those all-too-familiar moments when someone you've chatted with online pretends not to know you in person, when neighbors avoid eye contact, or when a simple "good morning" feels radical.

Drawing on their work as therapists and community builders, John and Jerry explore how social media, anonymity, politics, and COVID didn't create our disconnection--but absolutely amplified it. They ask a hard but necessary question:

Do we genuinely care about each other as queer men, or only about causes, bodies, and aesthetics?

You'll hear real stories from their clinical work with gay men who feel dismissed, invisible, and "not good enough" in queer spaces. John and Jerry push back against the myth that beauty, muscles, or popularity equal emotional health, reminding us that cruelty is never attractive--no matter how tight your abs are. Instead, they celebrate the quiet power of everyday courtesies: saying hello at the gym, checking in after someone shares they're caring for a sick parent, remembering birthdays, or introducing people to one another at community events.

They also get personal about their own introversion and social anxiety, describing how they psych themselves up to attend leather events, talk to strangers at the gym, or simply soften their facial expressions so they don't come off as standoffish. Along the way, they offer simple, doable practices for listeners who want to show up with more heart:

- Normalize your nervousness and remind yourself, "I'm okay--even when I'm anxious."

- Practice small pleasantries: a nod, a smile, a "How was your workout?"

- Stop taking every cold interaction personally by revisiting ideas from The Four Agreements.

- Treat apps like real life: if you wouldn't walk away mid-sentence in person, don't ignore people online.

- Put your phone away at meals or gatherings and actually talk to the humans in front of you.

- "Pass it forward": let one kind act ripple outward in your community.

At its core, this episode is a love letter to queer humanity. John and Jerry believe that queer folks are capable of profound empathy, compassion, and magic--we just need to dust it off, practice it, and give ourselves permission to show up differently. If you've ever felt invisible in queer spaces--or wondered how to help change the culture--this conversation is for you.

🎧 Listen to the audio episode on Apple Podcasts and Spotify--and don't forget to download it so you can revisit the conversation anytime.

📺 Watch the full video podcast on YouTube at Mindfully Gay Podcast and join us in the comments to share your own stories of kindness, rejection, and connection in queer spaces.

@mindfully_gay (Instagram)