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After five years of infertility, there’s one phrase I’ve heard more than almost anything else: “Why don’t you just adopt?”

This is not an episode about making a decision or offering answers. It’s about lived experience. I talk about why adoption can’t, and shouldn’t, be treated as a replacement for pregnancy or a solution to grief.

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After five years of infertility, there’s one phrase I’ve heard more than almost anything else: “Why don’t you just adopt?”

In this episode, I share why that question is far more complicated than it sounds... especially for me, as someone who was adopted.

This is not an episode about making a decision or offering answers. It’s about lived experience. I talk about growing up adopted, loving my family deeply, what it’s like to walk infertility while carrying gratitude and longing at the same time, and why adoption can’t, and shouldn’t, be treated as a replacement for pregnancy or a solution to grief.

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Getting pregnant didn’t fix my grief.

I thought it would. I hoped it would. I believed that once I was pregnant, the grief from infertility and pregnancy loss would finally quiet down, especially during the holidays.

But it didn’t.

In this episode, I share what it’s really been like to move through the holiday season while pregnant after loss, and why grief doesn’t disappear just because circumstances change. Pregnancy softened the pain, but it didn’t erase it. The loss of ease, the weight of past holidays, and the quiet absence of the children I lost still show up especially when the table feels incomplete.

We talk about pregnancy announcements and the grief of never getting to experience them without fear, why it’s not a child’s responsibility to heal their parent’s pain, and what it actually means to hold space for grief instead of trying to fix it.

This episode is for anyone who thought reaching the “next milestone” would make the pain go away and found that it didn’t. It’s also for loved ones who want to understand how to show up with compassion during the holidays.

Joy and grief can exist at the same table.

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For a long time, I’ve noticed the way we talk about motherhood — how often it’s framed as the moment a woman becomes whole.

As someone who is pregnant and stepping into this next chapter, I wanted to slow that conversation down.

In this episode, I reflect on motherhood as a new level, not a missing piece. I talk about the years of becoming that make strong mothers possible, the women in my life whose lives are already full and meaningful without children, and why implying something was “missing” before motherhood denies the very structure that makes motherhood grounded and healthy.

Nothing was missing. Not before. Not now.

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If you’ve ever wondered how IVF actually works, this episode walks you through everything.

I’m taking you from my first consultation in August 2024, through the endless labs and imaging, my Lupron era, stimulation meds, bloating, monitoring ultrasounds, and the entire egg retrieval process. Then I break down exactly what happens to the eggs in the lab… fertilization, embryo development, blastocyst grading, and PGT testing. And finally, we walk through the embryo transfer process: how estrogen and progesterone work, what lining monitoring looks like, and how the actual transfer takes less than 20 seconds but somehow changes everything.

This is a long, honest, detailed episode designed for:

• anyone starting IVF
• anyone supporting a friend going through IVF
• or anyone who wants to feel seen, validated, and less alone

If you’re navigating infertility or preparing for IVF, I hope this episode arms you with clarity and reminds you that you’re not walking this road alone.

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“Kids are expensive,” they say.

And I’m over here like… my daughter has already cost me FIFTEEN THOUSAND DOLLARS. And she’s still in the womb.

In today’s episode, I break down the unbelievable (but very real) financial side of IVF: meds, retrievals, transfers, testing, monitoring, and the fun little plot twist of having Factor V Leiden, which means daily Lovenox injections to keep both of us safe.

And don’t worry, insurance makes multiple appearances… mostly as the villain.

If you’ve been through fertility treatments or are in the thick of them now, this episode will feel way too familiar.

Let’s talk about the true price of a miracle.

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TW: Infertility, miscarriage, pregnancy after loss

The past 15 weeks have been a whirlwind... from our embryo transfer, to the waiting, to the stress of every ultrasound, and the quiet battle of trying to find peace in the storm. Pregnancy after loss isn’t simple or carefree, it’s layered with fear, gratitude, and constant prayer.

If you’re still waiting, still grieving, or if hearing someone else’s update feels heavy right now, please know I understand. Listen when and if you’re ready. This isn’t a glossy highlight reel. It’s the messy, honest story of what the last 15 weeks have looked like for me.

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Infertility has a way of turning life upside down—physically, emotionally, and spiritually. In this episode, I open up about what it feels like to live in that constant state of disorder and how the Holy Spirit keeps drawing me back into alignment. We’ll talk about the chaos of treatments and waiting, the struggle to release control, and what it really looks like to live Spirit-led when nothing is going the way you planned. If you’ve ever felt lost in the waiting or wondered if God still sees you, this conversation is for you.

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💌 Want more support? Get my exclusive Infertility Playbooks episodes + more here: patreon.com/MiraclePendingPodcast