Reconnection and Loss: Genifer's Story of Mental Illness, Repair, and Saying Goodbye

In this interview, I sit down with Genifer Salandy, school psychologist and founder of Rooted Joy Wellness, who shares her deeply personal story of estrangement, brief reconnection, and ultimate loss. From being parentified as a child by a mother struggling with undiagnosed bipolar disorder to navigating a crisis during the pandemic that led to complete estrangement, Genifer's story reveals the complexity of loving someone with serious mental illness. She walks us through the six-week period of harassment and social media attacks, her difficult decision to have her mother hospitalized, and the unexpected phone call that her mother was actively dying just as they were rebuilding their relationship. This isn't a traditional repair story - it's about honoring the ending you get, choosing love even when time is short, and recognizing your parent as fully human.

With this episode you'll be able to:

1. Understand how undiagnosed mental illness can create cycles of good and difficult periods in childhood
2. Recognize the signs of parentification and how it shows up in adult caretaking patterns
3. Navigate the impossible decision of calling authorities when a parent is in crisis
4. Set boundaries during reconnection to protect yourself while remaining open
5. Honor a complicated ending and find peace in the love that was present
6. See your parent as a complete person beyond their role as your mother
7. Accept that not all repair stories end with years of healthy relationship

Connect with Brittney:

1. Instagram: @theBrittneyScott
2. Website: www.brittneymscott.com
3. Consultation to work with Brittney
4. Free Resources

Don't forget Genifer's wisdom: see your parent as the women they are, not just as your parent. We all fall short and sometimes honoring what you did have matters more than grieving what you didn't get.

Mentioned resources:

1. Adult protective services and mental health crisis navigation
2. Palliative care and end-of-life decision-making
3. Support for managing aging parents' healthcare from a distance
4. Grief resources for losing multiple parent figures quickly

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Why Popular Boundary Phrases Backfire With Your Mom (And What Actually Works)

In this episode, I tackle the viral Instagram advice telling daughters exactly what to say to their "dysfunctional moms" when boundaries get challenged. Phrases like "I am not a child anymore and you don't get to control me with guilt" or "Your disappointment is not my responsibility to carry." The problem is these phrases might feel empowering, but they're guaranteed to put your mother on the defense, escalate conflict, and keep you trapped in the same exhausting cycle of arguments you're trying to escape. If your goal is estrangement, say whatever you want. But if you're trying to maintain even a small relationship with your mom while setting healthy boundaries, these attacking phrases won't get your needs met. I explain why popular boundary advice often backfires by creating defensiveness rather than understanding, and offer alternative phrasing that centers your emotions and needs without attacking your mother. I also break down the three valid lanes of mother wound healing: estrangement when necessary, limited relationship with strong boundaries, or full repair with accountability, and why your communication strategy should match the lane you're choosing.

With this episode you'll be able to:

1. Recognize why a phrase like "Your disappointment isn't my responsibility" escalates conflict instead of enforcing boundaries
2. Understand that popular boundary advice often uplifts daughters but does nothing to create balanced, healthier relationships
3. Learn alternative phrasing that centers your emotions and needs: "This is what I need for us to have a relationship" instead of attacking statements
4. Identify which of the three valid healing lanes you're in: estrangement, limited relationship with boundaries, or full repair with accountability
5. Stop going in circles with the same arguments by using language that makes it harder for your mom to feel attacked
6. Accept that wanting a relationship with your mom requires different communication than if estrangement is your goal

Connect with Brittney:

1. Instagram: @theBrittneyScott
2. Website: www.brittneymscott.com
3. Consultation to work with Brittney
4. Free Resources

Don't forget you can submit your questions about mother-daughter relationships for me to answer in future episodes!

Help me reach more mothers and daughters by following the show & leaving a rating or review on Apple & Spotify!

Keyword tags: Boundary setting, mother-daughter communication, enforcing boundaries, popular boundary...

Understanding the Mother Wound and How to Heal Without Your Mom

In this episode, I break down what a mother wound actually is and provide a roadmap for healing without waiting for your mom to change, apologize, or acknowledge what happened. From understanding that mother wounds stem from attachment trauma and missing emotional support to recognizing that waiting for her to change is keeping you stuck, I guide you through concrete steps for reclaiming your healing journey. You'll learn why comparing your trauma to others' is holding you back, how to reconnect with your inner child at specific ages, and the importance of defining what you actually need across different areas of your life. I also address the three lanes of healing: reconnecting with your mom, going no contact, or staying in relationship with strong boundaries, and how to choose the right path for you.

With this episode you'll be able to:

1. Stop comparing your pain to others' and validate your own experience
2. Write a letter to your younger self at a specific age to begin inner child healing
3. Identify what you need in friendships, romantic relationships, career, and daily life
4. Understand why "doing the opposite" of your mom isn't enough for intentional parenting
5. Create and enforce healthy boundaries that allow for genuine connection
6. Choose between three healing lanes based on your specific situation and needs
7. Break generational patterns by reclaiming your authentic self and developing self-trust

Don't forget to subscribe to the YouTube channel if you want to see more content and watch video versions of the podcast episodes!

Connect with Brittney:

1. Instagram: @theBrittneyScott
2. Website: www.brittneymscott.com
3. Consultation to work with Brittney
4. Free Resources

Mentioned resources:

1. Break the Cycle workbook for mapping generational patterns
2. Inner child healing exercises and letter writing
3. Boundary-setting guidance for different relationship contexts
4. YouTube channel for additional content and video episodes

Help me reach more mothers and daughters by following the show & leaving a...