As Carrie White and Rachel Lang will tell you, sometimes the only way to deal with abusive parents and high school bullies is a good ol' fashioned telekinetic rampage ending in blood and flames! Jon and Shady take a look at Carrie (1976), widely regarded as a classic even by Stephen King himself, and The Rage: Carrie 2, which is... fine? Other topics of discussion include a brief definition of the term "legacyquel," the tragic fate of a sympathetic monster, and the bizarre landscape of late '90s fashion and music trends. One topic Shady manages to avoid: The Rage stars Succession's J. Smith-Cameron (Gerri Kellman) as Rachel's mom!

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Next week: The Cabin in the Woods vs Detention (2011)

The summer of 2017 brought us both Rough Night and Girls Trip, two comedies about college friends reuniting for a vacation that gets a little more wild than planned. But does the presence of one dead body create enough of a distinction between the two movies? Jon and Shady might eventually get around to answering that question, if they don't get distracted talking about sitcoms and planning their own hypothetical New Orleans trip for too long.

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Next week: Carrie (1976) vs The Rage: Carrie 2

It's Alien versus Life as Jon and Shady talk about one of the most blatant cases of movie deja vu in history. End of description.

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Next week: Rough Night vs Girls Trip

Iron Eagle and Top Gun may have inspired Jon and Shady to blast power ballads and feather their hair, but did they actually entice them into enlisting in the Air Force or the Navy? No. No, they did not. But despite some heavy criticisms, these brave civilians dig in to '80s flicks built up strong enough fanbases to justify three Iron Eagle sequels for and the long-awaited legacyquel Top Gun: Maverick.

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Next week: Alien vs Life

Jon and Shady need a pick-me-up after last week's episode unexpectedly turned into a bummer. Are body swap comedies The Hot Chick and Freaky up to the task? Will their handling of gender identity and expression be more illuminating than offensive? How do their romantic storylines stack up against each other? And, most importantly, will Shady be able to resist her love for extremely dumb turn-of-the-millennium humor before Jon loses all respect for her?

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Next week: Iron Eagle vs Top Gun

Victor/Victoria and Connie & Carla definitely aren't the worst movies ever featured on this podcast, but boy oh boy (badum tss) are they the last movies anyone needs to be watching these days. Jon and Shady vent their frustrations as they discuss the ways these movies navigate gender expression and sexuality -- and whether or not the cishet dudes in charge of America in 1982 and 2004 had any influence on why they were produced in the first place. At least the musical numbers are really good!

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Next week: more gendered shenanigans with The Hot Chick vs Freaky

The heroines of Working Girl and Maid in Manhattan both have the smarts and ambition to achieve their dreams, but how do their stories stack up against each other? Jon and Shady wade through the waters of cutthroat corporate finance and snobby high society while wishing some of Tess and Marisa's friends were a little less annoying, but at least Harrison Ford takes his shirt off! And yes, Editor Shady was very mad at Recording Shady for forgetting about Second Act (starring JLo!) as a similar movie with less emphasis on romance.

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Next week: Victor/Victoria vs Connie & Carla

If He's Just No That Into You, you might wanna learn How To Be Single just like Jon and Shady! You can always rely on the perfectly-applicable-to-real-life dating advice from a romcom, and given that these two share so many writers and producers, they must know what they're talking about! Too bad Jon and Shady seem to be more preoccupied with swooning over Jason Mantzoukas, Jake Lacy, and -- shock of all shocks -- Ben Affleck to actually learn anything...

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Next week: Working Girl vs Maid in Manhattan