Do you want to get ahead? Do you want independent wealth? Do you want to be a SUCCESS?!

Just say yes, and it will all be yours!

Anything is possible. It's one of radio's core values. Using this magic power of positivity, we can achieve the impossible! Like making pickles sexy... If this doesn't turn you on, you're a Gherkin.

***This week's sponsor is Pickle This, Pickle That! We Sell Ferrets in the back!

Most radio people spend their fair share of time in a bar.

The Loose Noose is a bar like any other. Full of degenerates and divorced dads looking for some solace and peace at the bottom of a bottle. Biff hosts the open mic night, and the main source of entertainment is Billy Lager, who provides the soundtrack for these reprobates and their troubled minds.

If you're going to hang, come and hang with your friends at the Loose Noose!

What is radio without personality? Larger than life, the "disc jockey" made it all come to life. Who are these people? What makes them tick? How little can you pay them, and they'll still show up? The answers may shock you... and depress you.

Starring; Mark Dickinson, Joel Green, Biff, Juice, Midday Mel, and James Crispy

Don't you want to be a winner? Of course you do! We reveal the secret to winning every radio contest ever. Get those sticky fingers ready, and you too could be caller number 9!!!

Many years ago... radio was a golden gateway into the entertainment world. Most started as a lowly intern handing out t-shirts or stickers, but the goal was always to be in the control studio entertaining the masses. But... How do you get ON the air?

From the twisted mind of James Crispy, this action-documentary is based on his experience fighting the great werewolf cat invasion unleashed in episode 4.

"4 Stars! 4 Stars?! Yeah, right. I wish he would move out" - James' neighbour

"Revolting, repugnant, and outright waste of time" - The Daily Tribune

"Shit, that's a movie? I thought uncle James made that shit up." - Davey (James Crispy's son/nephew)

Check your local listings for this direct-to-cable movie!

Time for a coffee and a news break with AL DUNSWORTH!