No parent stays calm all the time. We snap, disconnect, misread, or say things we wish we could take back - and that’s not a failure of attachment. In Episode 23 of Not Just Theories, we explore rupture and repair: the idea that healthy relationships aren’t built by getting it right every time, but by coming back together after things go wrong.

This episode unpacks what rupture actually looks like in everyday parenting, why it’s inevitable, and how repair helps children learn trust, accountability, and emotional safety. We talk about why apologising to children doesn’t weaken your authority - and how it actually models responsibility and respect.

You’ll also hear practical examples of repair that go beyond a rushed “sorry,” including naming what happened, validating feelings without over-explaining, and reconnecting in ways that feel genuine rather than performative.

This episode is about letting go of perfection, embracing your humanity, and remembering that repair isn’t a backup plan - it’s the actual plan.

We talk a lot about transitions for children, but rarely about how hard they are for parents. In Episode 22 of Not Just Theories, we flip the focus and explore why transitions hit adults so hard, especially in the constant context-switching of parenting.

This episode unpacks what’s happening in the nervous system when you’re asked to move quickly from one role to another (from work brain to parent brain, from calm to chaos, from rest to responsibility), often without warning or recovery time. If you’ve ever snapped, shut down, or felt completely flooded during “normal” parts of the day, this episode is for you.

We also talk through practical, realistic ways to support yourself through transitions: creating micro-pauses, using transition rituals, lowering expectations during switch points, and understanding why buffer time matters even when it feels impossible.

This episode isn’t about becoming more flexible or coping better - it’s about recognising that transitions are genuinely demanding, and learning how to meet yourself with more compassion when they don’t feel easy.

Routines get a bad reputation - as rigid, controlling, or something parents impose on children. But for many parents (especially neurodivergent parents), routines are actually self-regulation tools.

In Episode 21 of Not Just Theories, we unpack why routines and control feel so important, what’s happening in the brain and nervous system when structure disappears, and why losing your routines can feel genuinely destabilising - not just inconvenient.

This episode explores what happens when children inevitably disrupt the systems we rely on, and how to adapt without shame or self-blame.

You’ll also hear compassionate strategies for increasing flexibility without abandoning structure altogether, including building “flexible routines,” shifting from time-based to rhythm-based routines, and allowing yourself to grieve for lost control.

This episode is about understanding yourself better - and letting go of the idea that needing routines means you’re doing parenting wrong.