We are just a couple of goofballs for Ned Hanlon!

The Boy In Blue (1986)

"A biography of the famous sculler Ned Hanlon who led a colorful life as a bootlegger at the turn of the 20th century." (Synopsis via IMDB)

Come for Nicolas Cage's nose, stay for Cary Elwes drinking bad beer.

Never on Tuesday (1988)

"After their cars collide on a desert highway in the middle of nowhere, two friends and a woman they both like must wait for someone to pass by and help them. Unfortunately, those who do stop turn out to be criminals, eccentrics or wackos." (Synopsis courtesy of IMDB)

Originally Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone were in mind to play the lead roles. When John Woo was brought in to direct, he decided that John Travolta and Nicolas Cage would be more suited to the roles. Other pairs that the studio wanted was Michael Douglas (who was the executive producer for this movie) and Harrison Ford, Bruce Willis and Alec Baldwin, Jean-Claude Van Damme and Steven Seagal, Denzel Washington and Wesley Snipes, and Robert De Niro and Al Pacino.

Face/Off (1997)

"To foil a terrorist plot, an FBI agent assumes the identity of the criminal who murdered his son via facial transplant surgery, but the crook wakes up prematurely and vows revenge." (Synopsis via IMDB)

The absolute worst version of this story.

Christmas Carol: The Movie

"Old bitter miser Ebenezer Scrooge (Simon Callow) who makes excuses for his uncaring nature learns real compassion when three ghosts visit him on Christmas Eve." (Synopsis via IMDB)

"I'm beging held hostage on Jesus' birthday!"

Trapped in Paradise (1994)

"Residents of a friendly Pennsylvania town foil three brothers' plan to rob a bank on Christmas Eve." (Synopsis via IMDB)

Just a little icky.

Joe (2013)

An ex-con, who is the unlikeliest of role models, meets a 15-year-old boy and is faced with the choice of redemption or ruin. (Synopsis via IMDB)

"We don't get a lot of things to really care about."

Pig (2021)

A truffle hunter who lives alone in the Oregon wilderness must return to his past in Portland in search of his beloved foraging pig after she is kidnapped. (Synopsis via IMDB)

"You know anything about rice cookers?"

Kill Chain (2019)

Three strangers become involved in a conflict. (Synopsis via Rotten Tomatoes)