In our ongoing Summer Reading Series Hess goes all solo professor style with an update on the CANDYMAN legacy to help you understand how Candyman relates to FREDDY KRUEGER, and perhaps also a 6 foot tall invisible bunny?

Pitter Patter

How many Mark Hammills can YOU eat?!

RETURN OF THE JEDI's voluminous pit nightmare is perhaps the ultimate in STAR WARS monstrosities, as well as one of its most enduring toys.

But is it bitchin' van art?

We also crack the nut on what all the STAR WARS media is secretly about...and hint...knobs are involved.

+++PS FANS: sorry about my mouse noise on this one, I'm gonna have that fixed by next episode+++

One of George A. Romero's lesser known monster films explores whether MARTIN, as portrayed by John Amplas, is actually a cursed bloodsucker from the days or yore, or just a deranged teen alienated by cultish superstition and mental derangement.

This bleak, savage, but oddly poignant portrayal of alienation in the rust belt modernity of 1970s Pennsylvania explores issues of sanity, doubt, religion, and the fracturing of society.

CONTENT WARNINGS FOR DISCUSSIONS OF MURDER SCENES THAT FEEL LIKE SEXUAL VIOLENCE

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Look to the skies with us this week as Gavin presents his take on Jordan Peele's UFO waking nightmare from 2022.

SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS EVERYWHERE!

If you haven't already watched the film, we strong recommend you do so before enjoying this episode.

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's a giant flying sand-dollar that sucks up horses into its multi-use sphincter.

You spit into the wind, you don't tug on Superman's cape, you don't pull the mask off the old Lone Ranger and YOU DO NOT LOOK DIRECTLY AT THE CHIMP.

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Strap in your stepping geese and polish your Schmeisser submachine guns cuz it's pissed off nazi time! You thought the zombies in YOUR life were pissed, wait til you meet these undead European meanies. They're coming out of the ocean, they're coming out of the snow, and you better not have any of their gold or you're going to get what's coming to you.

Gavin and Hess explore the through-lines that unite these and other iterations of the nazi zombie phenomenon and place that firmly inside the larger category of "European zombies", which, we learn, are utterly distinct from those originating here in the USA.

Also, check out the film RAMPANT, about Korean zombies taking over a medieval city.

CONTENT WARNINGS:

NAZIS NAZIS NAZIS

The use of the term "Scandahoovian"

Failure to remember the name of the College Humor show UM ACTUALLY, despite it being one of Hess' favorites.

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Phil and Hess conclude their dive into all things THING by looking at what the authors of each version included (dogs) and sometimes excluded (mind-reading-Thing), as well as personal anecdotes, and a lot of love for the 2002 THE THING videogame.

Hess brings on friend of the show PHIL from PIXEL LIT to discuss all things THE THING! In this first installment of a two-part ride, Hess and Phil discuss the original 1938 Novella WHO GOES THERE? that inspired director Howard Hawks as well as John Carpenter in the creation of their vastly influential horror films.

This episode runs through the literary "other" in film, the Red Scare in the early 20th century, and how terrifying Rob Bottin's FX were when shown on the big 35mm screen.

CONTENT WARNINGS:

literary theory

pontificating

pink commie leanings

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Get all our stuff here:

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Hess and Gavin are getting into professional Game Mastering!

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I’m giving listeners of this show a special opportunity to play Hess's first hosted sessions of DUNGEON WORLD: ESCAPE!

Currently there is scheduled an 18+ version at 630 on Thursday March 16 - 5 slots open

And a TEEN version at 2pm on Sat March 11, also up to five players.

Times are Eastern Standard Time USA (EST)

And if you’re not familiar with Dungeon World it’s a rules light, character focused fantasy take on games like Dungeons and Dragons, and in ESCAPE...

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The Heroes play a band of nefarious convicts, being unjustly (or perhaps justly in your case?) shipped into servitude over sea to a notorious prison colony. Playing as races typically associated with villainy (hobgoblins, bugbears, etc), they will have to fight for their lives and their FREEDOM!!!

If you have questions or want to organize a more custom game, or at a different time, shoot me an email at oopsallmonsters@gmail.com