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Plant Sluts

Plant Sluts

Written by: Jonathan and Jeannette
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About this listen

 Hosted by Jonathan and Jeannette, longtime friends of 25 years and unapologetic botany degenerates. They’re not here to tell you what to plant or how to grow it, but to banter, gossip, and lovingly complain about all things green. Jonathan gardens from Montreal, Quebec (USDA zone 6A) while Jeannette tends her plants in Salem, Oregon (USDA zone 8B). Whether those numbers mean everything to you or absolutely nothing, you’re in the right place.Copyright 2026 Social Sciences
Episodes
  • Trail Mix: Hazelnut's Botanical Blue-Balling

    Trail Mix: Hazelnut's Botanical Blue-Balling
    Apr 29 2026

    Jeannette visits Jonathan in Montreal and they get their fill on leafy greens in their winter coats. Jeannette commits the ultimate faux pas while not understanding what that means since she doesn't speak French. Another round of F*ck, Marry, Kill (nut edition)! We get into hazelnuts and the plant's ultimate reproductive power play, while discovering their global impact and why one chocolate spread controls the world’s hazelnuts. We also look into why Oregon calls it their state nut and what they used to call their state nut. Finally, the sluts learn about Celtic Tree Astrology and why Jeannette will probably never be happy.

    **

    Sources

    https://oregonhazelnuts.org/about/

    https://www.tytyga.com/History-of-the-Filbert-(Hazelnut)-Tree-a/383.htm

    https://www.statesmanjournal.com/story/news/local/oregon/2023/11/24/why-does-the-oregon-state-nut-have-two-different-names/71596462007/

    https://www.npr.org/sections/thesalt/2014/09/16/347749070/thanks-to-nutella-the-world-needs-more-hazelnut

    https://thedruidsgarden.com/2021/03/07/sacred-trees-in-the-americas-american-hazel-corylus-americana-magic-ecology-and-sacred-uses/

    Find your Celtic Tree Sign: https://www.treecouncil.ie/celtic-tree-astrology

    https://tree2mydoor.com/pages/information-trees-celtic-tree-calendar

    **

    Find out more at https://plant-sluts.pinecast.co
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    53 mins
  • Trail Mix: The Flexisexual Apricot

    Trail Mix: The Flexisexual Apricot
    Apr 15 2026
    We continue digging into our bag of trail mix and explore the world of the flexisexual apricot. But first Jonathan and Jeannette update us on their gardens and share their stone fruit “zodiac” placements. We go over the cyanide wellness craze apricots were at the pit of in the 70s and find a surprising US Marine apricot superstition.
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    28 mins
  • Trail Mix: Cacao, the Currency of Sex

    Trail Mix: Cacao, the Currency of Sex
    Apr 1 2026

    After complaining about kids these days, Jonathan and Jeannette dive into the history of the cacao plant and how that became the chocolate we consume nonstop today. We answer questions like "How many cacao pods did it cost to hire a sex worker in the Aztec empire?" and "Is white chocolate actually chocolate?" We also discover the tiny, nasty pollinator that is responsible for every yummy chocolate treat you chew. And we find out if your fancy, overpriced chocolate is really anything special.

    Sources:

    https://www.vosgeschocolate.com/blogs/vosges-haut-chocolat-blog/chocolate-gifts-for-every-star-sign-a-zodiac-gift-guide

    https://worldwidechocolate.com/magazine/what-type-of-chocolate-matches-your-zodiac-sign/

    https://www.chocolatescorecard.com/

    Find out more at https://plant-sluts.pinecast.co
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    35 mins
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