What if the symptoms you’re ashamed of once saved your life?

In this powerful and deeply human episode, I sit down with Sally Maslansky, LMFT author of A Brilliant Adaptation and longtime patient of Daniel J. Siegel, to explore dissociation, DID, adoption, attachment, and what it truly means to make sense of your story so your child doesn’t have to carry it.

Sally shares her extraordinary journey of living with Dissociative Identity Disorder — and fully healing from it — through relational, attachment-based therapy. We talk about:

• Why DID is not what movies portray it to be
• What dissociation actually is (and why it’s often brilliant)
• How parenting can awaken unresolved trauma
• The difference between protecting your child from their story… and helping them make sense of it
• Why behavior is almost never “bad”
• How repair transforms parenting
• And why relationships cause harm — but relationships also heal it

Sally’s story reminds us that dissociation isn’t pathology, it’s adaptation. And healing doesn’t require perfection — it requires safety, relationship, and the courage to face your own story.

This episode is for you if you’ve ever wondered:

• “Am I broken?”
• “Why does parenting trigger me?”
• “Can trauma really heal?”
• “Is integration actually possible?”

Connect with me on Instagram @dr.koslowitzpsychology and check out my new book Post-Traumatic Parenting: Break the Cycle and Become the Parent You Always Wanted to Be

Connect with Sally Maslansky, LMFT at her website sallymaslansky.com and check out Sally Maslansky's book A Brilliant Adaptation: How Dissociative Identity Disorder & the Power of the Therapeutic Bond Saved Me

What if the very fact that you’re worried about passing on your trauma means you probably won’t?

In this episode, I’m joined by Dr. Frank Putnam, one of the world’s leading researchers on child maltreatment, dissociation, and intergenerational trauma, for a profound and deeply hopeful conversation about what really happens to the brain and body after childhood abuse… and what actually breaks the cycle.

Dr. Putnam shares insights from his 35+ year longitudinal study following sexually abused girls across generations, along with what he’s learned from decades of clinical work and trauma intervention. We talk about dissociation as a survival response, why trauma accelerates biological aging, and the single most important factor that predicts whether abuse gets passed down.

Yes, trauma leaves marks; psychologically, relationally, even biologically. But no, it does not make harm inevitable. In fact, most survivors do not go on to maltreat their children. And the difference often comes down to one powerful act: acknowledging what happened.

If you’ve ever felt damaged, polluted, afraid you’re doomed to repeat what you lived through, this episode offers science-backed hope.

1. Why 70% of parents with maltreatment histories do not go on to abuse their children
2. The single most important factor that reduces intergenerational transmission of trauma
3. What dissociation actually is (fight, flight… and freeze) and why it can feel calming
4. When dissociation becomes adaptive and when it starts interfering with life
5. How parenting helps children develop integration between emotional “states”
6. What happens biologically after childhood trauma including accelerated puberty, immune disruption, and epigenetic aging
7. Why trauma survivors often experience autoimmune disorders, chronic illness, or early health decline
8. Whether biological aging from trauma is reversible
9. The role of CBT and TF-CBT in healing trauma
10. Why “self-care is childcare” isn’t cliché; it’s neuroscience

Connect with me on Instagram @dr.koslowitzpsychology and check out my new book Post-Traumatic Parenting: Break the Cycle and Become the Parent You Always Wanted to Be

You can find Dr. Frank Putnam’s book Old Before Their Time wherever books are sold. His earlier work, The Way We Are, explores personality, state transitions, and integration.

What if stepping away from a harmful family relationship wasn’t an act of betrayal, but an act of healing?

In this episode, I’m joined by Eamon Dolan, author of The Power of Parting and longtime book editor, for a deeply honest conversation about childhood abuse, estrangement, boundaries, and what it really means to break generational cycles.

Eamon shares his personal journey of growing up with severe psychological and physical abuse, the long road to recognizing how deeply it shaped his inner voice, and the courageous process of setting boundaries with a parent who could not, or would not, change. Together, we explore why estrangement is so often misunderstood, why shame and silence keep so many people trapped, and how anger can be a powerful source of clarity.

1. Why is estrangement from family almost never impulsive, and what usually leads people to that decision?
2. How does childhood abuse create an internal critical voice that follows us into adulthood?
3. Why do shame and isolation keep so many survivors silent about family trauma?
4. How can anger help identify boundaries instead of turning into rage or withdrawal?
5. Is giving parents or relatives feedback about harm an act of disrespect or an act of self-respect?
6. How does becoming a parent change the way survivors understand their own childhood abuse?
7. Why don’t boundaries destroy family relationships and how can they actually protect them?
8. Can choosing distance from harmful family members help ensure our trauma doesn’t get passed on to our children?

Connect with me on Instagram @dr.koslowitzpsychology and check out my new book Post-Traumatic Parenting: Break the Cycle and Become the Parent You Always Wanted to Be

Connect with Eamon Dolan on Instagram @eamondolan and check out Eamon's new book The Power of Parting