Why do some things feel emotionally bigger than they “should”?

In this bonus episode of Psychologically Speaking, psychologist and researcher Leila Ainge introduces The Hard Thing Challenge — a free five-day reflection challenge exploring the psychology behind difficult tasks, imposter feelings, avoidance, identity, and risk.

This episode also introduces the next season of Psychologically Speaking.

You’ll also get:

– details of Leila's free 5 day challenge.

– an introduction to The Reflection Room

– details on how the challenge works

– and a preview of the new podcast season exploring imposter phenomenon through the lens of risk

Join the challenge at www.leilaainge.co.uk

What happens when loss changes everything—not just emotionally, but structurally?

In this episode of Psychologically Speaking, Leila Ainge is joined by wellbeing consultant and psychotherapist Chrissy Orson to explore grief, identity shifts, and the moment your life no longer fits the way it used to.

After losing both her sister and father within weeks during lockdown, Chrissy shares how grief didn’t just affect her personally—it completely changed how she saw work, time, family, and what actually matters.

We talk about the psychology of grief, why many women “keep going” until they hit a wall, and how organisations often fail people at the moments they most need support.

This is a conversation about loss—but also about clarity, boundaries, and building a life that reflects what you now know to be true.

We cover:

• Grief, trauma, and identity shifts
• Why women keep going (even when they shouldn’t)
• The hidden admin and emotional labour of loss
• Psychological safety at work during life events
• Why flexible working often isn’t truly flexible
• Therapy vs coaching—and when you actually need each

Link to EMDR explainer https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bIJZQAr9nQo

You can find Chrissy at:

Chrissy Orson MBACP (Accred) | She / Her | www.chrissyorson.co.uk

What happens when your life doesn’t follow the path you thought it would?

A conversation on identity, belonging, and the courage to build a career that doesn’t look right on paper but feels right in your life.

In this episode of Psychologically Speaking, I’m joined by coach and podcast host Fiorenza Rossini to explore identity, belonging, and the unexpected turns our careers can take. From financial engineering to full-time coaching, Fiorenza shares what it means to step away from “safe” career paths and build a life that aligns with your values.

We talk about the psychology of belonging, multicultural identity, working parenthood, and why so many of us feel like we don’t quite fit until we find the right spaces.

If you’ve ever questioned your career, your direction, or where you belong, this conversation will feel like a deep exhale.

We cover:

• Career pivots and “non-linear” success
• Identity shifts (especially motherhood and work)
• The psychology of belonging and community
• Why traditional paths don’t fit everyone
• What actually drives fulfilment (hint: not just money)

We often assume interviews are a way of capturing what people already think. But qualitative psychology suggests something different. Interviews can be active sites of meaning-making, where thoughts are not just shared, but formed in real time.

Drawing on ideas like the double hermeneutic from Anthony Giddens and reflexive approaches to qualitative research, I reflect on what it means to ask questions that might shift how someone understands their own experience.

As an insider researcher studying online communities I belong to, this raises a deeper question: what trace does research leave behind?

This episode explores:

• Why interviews are not neutral data collection tools
• How questions can shape reflection and self-understanding
• The role of reflexivity in qualitative research
• The ethical tension between insight and influence
• What happens when someone thinks something for the first time… out loud

If you’re a researcher, writer, coach, or simply curious about how we make sense of our experiences, this episode invites you to listen a little more closely to the pauses.

“I refuse to hate myself in any way… I hope women reclaim ageing as a gift.”

When everything shifts at once, home, body, identity, what does it take to rebuild a sense of safety and self? Leila Ainge and Emma Seville explore menopause, midlife transitions, and the psychology of starting over.

In this episode of Psychologically Speaking, psychologist Leila Ainge speaks with menopause coach Emma Seville about navigating unexpected life changes, financial precarity, ADHD, and the psychological impact of midlife transitions. Together, they explore agency, belonging, and how women can reclaim ageing as a powerful, identity-shaping experience.

Hi, I’m Leila, and I’m currently doing a PhD exploring the experiences of women who are independent workers, including entrepreneurs, freelancers, and the self-employed, who use online communities as part of their working lives.

My first study is collecting data through a series of interviews with women and community hosts across two online communities where I’m also a paying member. These are spaces I didn’t join as a researcher, but as someone looking for connection, support, and belonging in independent work.

Alongside the research itself, I’ll be keeping a series of blog posts as part of my reflexivity practice. These posts will sit under a little series I’m calling Field Notes (from the Inside) reflections on researching communities I belong to, in real time.

In this episode of Psychologically Speaking, Leila Ainge speaks with entrepreneur Femke Harris about the unexpected twists that shape our lives. From growing up as a third-culture kid in Hong Kong to managing operations on a NATO base in Afghanistan, Femke’s career path has been anything but predictable.

Together they explore the psychology of resilience, identity and adaptation when life doesn’t follow the plan we imagined. Femke shares how major life transitions – moving countries, career pivots, motherhood and COVID-era uncertainty – ultimately led her to create the Merry-go-round Club, a sustainable baby equipment rental service designed to support parents and reduce waste.

This conversation explores how unexpected change can strengthen confidence, reshape identity and open the door to meaningful work.

Topics include resilience, entrepreneurship, motherhood, community support, and the psychology of adapting when life throws curveballs.

Femke Harris: "I'm a third culture kid, mother, founder and former international operations lead. I’ve lived and worked across Hong Kong, Belgium, the UK, Afghanistan and France including senior roles managing sales strategy in APAC and logistics contracts in complex environments. Along the way I’ve navigated motherhood, global relocations, and major life transitions, and more recently founded my own business. My path has been defined less by planning and more by adaptation.”

https://merrygoround.club/

What if one of the most powerful mental health tools was already in your garden?

In this episode, I’m joined by horticultural therapist Kendall Marie Platt to explore the science behind soil, why getting your hands in the dirt can change your mood, and how gardening might help us regulate stress in ways modern life often forgets.

And in many ways, Kendall’s story captures the spirit of this season’s theme: expect the unexpected. From forensic science labs to flowers and soil, her journey is a reminder that sometimes the paths we never planned are the ones that reconnect us with what really matters.

Kendall Marie Platt is a horticultural therapist and founder of Adventures with Flowers. She combines horticultural therapy with sensory-led garden design to help people use gardening as a practical antidote to burnout. Through her membership The Seed, 1:1 programmes and garden-along sessions, she helps people create restorative spaces that support both body and mind.

She is a writer, speaker and facilitator who has appeared on This Morning, BBC Radio and in publications including The Independent, The Telegraph, Happiful and Reclaim. www.adventureswithflowers.com/aboutkendall

Leila Ainge is a psychologist, researcher and coach who helps people use psychology to work with more clarity, confidence and joy. Her work brings together research, reflection and practical insight so you can use evidence in ways that make sense for you.

More details at www.leilaainge.co.uk