Feelings and Urges: Untangling What’s Really Going On

Summary: In this episode, Marc and Justin have an honest and raw conversation about the connection between our feelings, urges, and behavior. They talk about how men often act out of legitimate feelings—loneliness, inadequacy, boredom, pain—but in unhealthy ways like pornography, fantasy, or overachievement.

The conversation dives into how healing starts when we stop masking our pain, have compassion for ourselves, and invite God to meet us there. They share personal stories around same-sex attraction, shame, and healing from abuse, showing that God’s goal isn’t just to make us “better men,” but to restore us completely.

It’s a real look at how courage, vulnerability, and community are essential to breaking free from destructive cycles.

💬 Key Takeaways:

• Your feelings aren’t the enemy. They’re signals pointing to deeper needs—connection, validation, belonging—that God wants to meet.
• Compassion breaks shame. You can’t heal what you hate. When you look at yourself through Christ’s eyes, you stop seeing only the sin and start seeing the son He loves.
• Patterns can be retrained. Acting out is often a learned response to pain. Creating new “paths” of response takes intentional practice and grace.
• Community is God’s design for healing. When we risk being known by other men of faith, God uses those relationships to reshape how we see ourselves.
• Your story has power. Sharing your testimony brings light to dark places—the enemy loses power when truth is spoken out loud.

🔥 Real Quotes for Reflection:

“Christ had compassion for the sinner—and if we’re reflecting Him, we need to have compassion for ourselves too.”

“I trained myself to treat loneliness or boredom with pornography. Now I’m learning to train my heart to turn to God instead.”

“We can’t just slap a band-aid over our pain. God doesn’t want you to just survive—He wants to deliver you.”

“Reality is truth. Feelings are real, but they’re not always true.”

“Your testimony doesn’t fix everything—but it drags the devil into the light.”

🙏 For the Listener:

This episode invites you to pause and ask: What am I really feeling beneath my urges? Whether it’s loneliness, shame, or fear—you’re not alone in that process. God’s love isn’t scared of your mess. He’s ready to meet you there and bring freedom through honesty, community, and grace.

📄 Episode Summary Life is full of transitions—new jobs, marriage, fatherhood, loss, or seasons of uncertainty. In this episode, Marc unpacks the reality of change and why it often feels uncomfortable, disorienting, or even threatening to our identity as men. Rather than resisting transition, he invites listeners to see it as a space where God does some of His deepest work. With encouragement and practical wisdom, this conversation reminds men that transitions are not roadblocks but invitations to grow, mature, and step into new strength.

🧭 Key Topics Covered

• Why transitions often feel uncomfortable and overwhelming
• The role of identity and faith during seasons of change
• Common mistakes men make when facing life transitions
• How to embrace transition as an opportunity for growth
• Practical encouragement for trusting God in the unknown

🌐 fahrenheitmentoring.org

📩 Contact: Contact@fahrenheitmentoring.org

📄 Episode Summary In this follow-up conversation, Marc continues his discussion with John Kelsey, diving deeper into the challenges men face when it comes to identity, honesty, and walking in integrity. John opens up about his own story of brokenness and healing, and together they highlight how bringing struggles into the light allows men to experience freedom. This episode is a powerful reminder that growth comes not from perfection but from courage, vulnerability, and faith in God’s redeeming love.

🧭 Key Topics Covered

• Why hiding struggles keeps men trapped in shame
• The freedom that comes from honesty and vulnerability
• How faith reframes identity and restores hope
• The importance of community and mentorship in a man’s journey
• Practical steps toward living with integrity and wholeness

🌐 fahrenheitmentoring.org 📩 Contact: Contact@fahrenheitmentoring.org

📄 Episode Summary

In this powerful conversation, Marc sits down with John Kelsey to explore his journey of healing, identity, and transformation. John shares vulnerably about growing up without his father, wrestling with masculinity, and how unresolved pain shaped his relationships and sense of self. Through Scripture, mentorship, and God’s redemptive work, John discovered a deeper understanding of what it means to be a man made in God's image. This episode offers a heartfelt blend of personal story and spiritual insight—an invitation for men to confront their past and embrace their God-given identity.

🧭 Key Topics Covered

• Growing up without a father and the impact of father wounds
• The link between masculinity, identity, and emotional pain
• God’s design for men: from performance to presence
• The power of confession, community, and spiritual fathering
• Encouragement for men to find healing through Christ

🌐 fahrenheitmentoring.org

📩 Contact: Contact@fahrenheitmentoring.org

📄 Episode Summary

In this honest and foundational conversation, Marc and Chris unpack the concept of the father wound—how the absence, silence, or brokenness of a father shapes a man’s identity, choices, and relationships. This episode lays the groundwork for understanding why so many men feel stuck, angry, or uncertain about who they are. With biblical insight and personal reflection, they invite listeners to begin recognizing and naming their wounds, not to dwell in pain, but to move toward restoration and wholeness.

🧭 Key Topics Covered

• What is the father wound and where does it begin?
• Emotional consequences of father absence or neglect
• How unhealed wounds manifest in adulthood
• God as a healing Father: identity through sonship
• Laying the foundation for mentorship and spiritual reparenting

🌐 fahrenheitmentoring.org 📩 Contact: Contact@fahrenheitmentoring.org

📄 Episode Summary

In this powerful and unflinchingly honest episode of Real Life Men, Marc, Chris, and Justin sit down with artist and teacher Guy Kinnear, a man whose daily life is a testament to grace, grit, and the healing power of truth. From living off the grid in California to navigating life with obsessive-compulsive disorder, Guy opens up about faith, mental illness, artistic vocation, and the lifelong challenge of deciding who defines us—our pain or our Creator.

This conversation isn’t just about mental health. It’s about spiritual courage, the cost of authenticity, and the necessity of confession—not for shame, but for healing. If you've ever felt alone in your internal battles, this episode offers companionship and clarity.

🧭 Key Topics Covered

• Guy’s calling as an artist and his connection to biblical craftsmanship
• The role of art and creativity in evangelism and cultural engagement
• Living with OCD: a raw and personal description of internal struggle
• The daily practice of choosing truth over intrusive thoughts
• Confession, vulnerability, and the necessity of community among men
• Discerning the difference between what feels real and what is true
• How worship, Scripture, and brotherhood help renew the mind

https://www.fahrenheitmentoring.org/

Contact@fahrenheitmentoring.org

https://www.guykinnear.com/

📄 Episode Summary

In this heartfelt episode, Marc and Chris sit down with pastor and storyteller Danny Bryant. With depth and authenticity, Danny shares about his spiritual journey, his passion for community, and the tension between personal calling and pastoral responsibility. From moments of brokenness to deep theological insight, this conversation is a must-listen for anyone navigating faith, leadership, or the weight of vocation.

🧭 Key Topics Covered

• Danny’s journey into ministry and calling
• The beauty and burden of pastoral work
• Wrestling with doubt, identity, and authenticity
• How to remain rooted in community and grace
• The role of vulnerability in spiritual leadership

https://www.fahrenheitmentoring.org/

Contact@fahrenheitmentoring.org

https://ethnos360.org/missionaries/dan-and-ginny-bryant

📄 Episode Summary

In this inspiring episode, Marc and Justin sit down with Woody Lewis, a man whose life has been marked by deep faith, consistent leadership, and investment in others. Woody shares stories from decades of ministry and mentorship, reflecting on the lessons that shaped him and the principles that still guide him today. It’s a powerful conversation about legacy, humility, and what it means to finish well.

🧭 Key Topics Covered

• The formative experiences that shaped Woody’s leadership
• Wisdom gained through decades of mentoring
• Lessons on faithfulness, discipline, and perseverance
• How to invest in others and leave a lasting impact
• Practical encouragement for men seeking spiritual maturity

https://www.fahrenheitmentoring.org/

Contact@fahrenheitmentoring.org