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Real Over Ideal

Real Over Ideal

Written by: Vanessa Gorelkin
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About this listen

Function, not perfection.

Hosted by occupational therapist and executive coach Vanessa Gorelkin, Real over Ideal cuts through the noise to bring you practical strategies for life in a stressful world.


© 2026 Real Over Ideal
Hygiene & Healthy Living Psychology Psychology & Mental Health Self-Help Social Sciences Success
Episodes
  • The Ultimate Deep Dive into Apple TV's Severance (and Plur1bus): with Allen Stare
    Feb 19 2026

    Exploring Severance and Beyond: A Deep Dive with Allen Stare

    In this episode, Vanessa Gorelkin and Allen Stare, creator of the acclaimed Severed: The Ultimate Severance Podcast and host of the brand new (as of February 2026) Hello Carol: The Ultimate Plur1bus Podcast spend time exploring themes of work-life balance and corporate satire.

    Vanessa and Allen do some behind-the-scenes storytelling about what makes Severance such a phenomenon—plus listeners gain insights into Allen’s passion for deep analysis, storytelling, and his latest projects. Hello Carol: The Ultimate Plur1bus podcast being his newest endeavor into ultimate rewatch territory.

    Key Topics:

    • The origins and creative process behind AppleTV's Severance and its thematic depth
    • How corporate culture and identity resonate with audiences
    • The role of humor and satire in dark, heavy series like Severance
    • Allen’s deep research techniques, including identifying Easter eggs and production details
    • The inspiration and influence of Office Space, Breaking Bad, and other pop culture on Allen’s podcasts
    • Practical advice on maintaining work-life balance and finding joy in hobbies that spill over into work
    • The importance of detail-oriented viewing and enjoying media on a layered level
    • Behind the scenes stories from production, including script insights and casting details
    • The cultural commentary on employee identity and corporate control in modern workplaces
    • How Allen’s podcasts serve as love letters to storytelling and analytical engagement

    Resources

    • Hello Carol - The Ultimate Pluribus Podcast by Allen Stare
    • Severed: The Ultimate Severance Podcast by Allen Stare
    • Apple TV+ Severance: https://tv.apple.com/show/severance
    • The Matrix (1999):
    • Office Space (1999)
    • Sandy Pony Donuts: https://sandypony.com


    Allen Stares shares a passion for storytelling, detailed analysis, and connecting with audiences over themes of work and identity. His podcasts go beyond surface-level critique, offering a richly layered exploration of beloved series and their cultural impact. Whether you’re a Severance fan or just love deep dives into media, Allen’s work enriches understanding and sparks curiosity. Get busy taking a listen to Hello Carol: the Ultimate Plur1bus Podcast-- you won't be sorry.

    Thanks for listening!

    Please share the show with anyone who may enjoy it. We'd love it if you'd leave us a 5 star review wherever you're listening- it helps listeners find the show and we read every review.

    If you'd like to submit an "Untangle This" question, a comment, or an episode idea-- Email us:

    realoveridealpod@gmail.com

    Vanessa is available to consult professionally with individual clients. If you'd like to work with Vanessa , reach out here:

    https://vanessagorelkin.com/contact-us#12398ed6-3711-4e15-ae41-4711059fd6ab

    If you'd like to read about Vanessa's background, treatment perspective and techniques, or other handy information about her practice, check out her Psychology Today profile here:

    https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/vanessa-gorelkin-scottsdale-az/809467



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    1 hr
  • ADHD Toolkit: The Default Mode Network
    Feb 12 2026


    Summary

    In this episode of Real Over Ideal, Vanessa Gorelkin explores the Default Mode Network (DMN) of the brain, its role in neurodivergence, and how it influences rumination and creativity. She discusses the importance of understanding the DMN as a feature rather than a flaw, especially in the context of ADHD and other neurodivergent conditions. Vanessa offers practical strategies for managing rumination and building a healthier relationship with one's internal narrative, emphasizing the need for mindfulness and self-reflection.


    Takeaways

    The default mode network (DMN) is active during internal thought.
    ADHD can cause the DMN to pull attention inward at inappropriate times.
    Mind wandering is not inherently negative; it can foster creativity.
    Therapy can help shift maladaptive DMN activity to more flexible processing.
    Deliberate mind wandering can help manage ruminative thoughts.
    Grounding techniques can help redirect focus from the DMN.
    Labeling thoughts can interrupt rumination loops.
    The DMN serves as both a wise narrator and a critic.
    Understanding the DMN can improve mental health management.
    Your brain's default mode is a meaning-making machine.

    Chapters

    00:00 Understanding the Default Mode Network
    06:31 Navigating Neurodivergence and Rumination
    09:28 Strategies for Managing the Default Mode Network

    Thanks for listening!

    Please share the show with anyone who may enjoy it. We'd love it if you'd leave us a 5 star review wherever you're listening- it helps listeners find the show and we read every review.

    If you'd like to submit an "Untangle This" question, a comment, or an episode idea-- Email us:

    realoveridealpod@gmail.com

    Vanessa is available to consult professionally with individual clients. If you'd like to work with Vanessa , reach out here:

    https://vanessagorelkin.com/contact-us#12398ed6-3711-4e15-ae41-4711059fd6ab

    If you'd like to read about Vanessa's background, treatment perspective and techniques, or other handy information about her practice, check out her Psychology Today profile here:

    https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/vanessa-gorelkin-scottsdale-az/809467



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    14 mins
  • The Secret Sabotage of Perfection
    Feb 5 2026

    In this episode of Real Over Ideal, Vanessa Gorelkin explores the subtle ways perfectionism sabotages our efforts and shares practical strategies to shift from perfection-driven habits to more flexible, compassionate approaches. Learn how to recognize these patterns and build sustainable progress without the trap of perfection.

    Key Topics

    • The difference between adaptive and maladaptive perfectionism
    • How perfectionism quietly undermines goal-setting and motivation
    • Recognizing patterns like procrastination, guilt, and all-or-nothing thinking
    • The importance of self-compassion and psychological flexibility
    • Small actionable steps to practice imperfection intentionally
    • The role of curiosity and growth-driven motivation over fear-based standards
    • Tips for naming and neutralizing perfectionistic inner critics
    • How to set flexible standards that allow for human variability

    Thanks for listening!

    Please share the show with anyone who may enjoy it. We'd love it if you'd leave us a 5 star review wherever you're listening- it helps listeners find the show and we read every review.

    If you'd like to submit an "Untangle This" question, a comment, or an episode idea-- Email us:

    realoveridealpod@gmail.com

    Vanessa is available to consult professionally with individual clients. If you'd like to work with Vanessa , reach out here:

    https://vanessagorelkin.com/contact-us#12398ed6-3711-4e15-ae41-4711059fd6ab

    If you'd like to read about Vanessa's background, treatment perspective and techniques, or other handy information about her practice, check out her Psychology Today profile here:

    https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/vanessa-gorelkin-scottsdale-az/809467



    Show More Show Less
    14 mins
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