Your relationship challenges are not random.
They are invitations.

Not invitations to try harder.
Not invitations to perform better.

Invitations to stop performing love.
To unravel the early programming shaping your reactions.
To become steady enough to meet your partner without fear, shame, or the need to impress.

Love has a way of magnifying where you are not yet free.

The tension you feel in your relationship may not be a problem to fix — it may be a doorway you’re afraid to walk through.

For most of us, real intimacy lives on the other side of it.

If this episode stirred something in you, don’t ignore it.

If you’d like support unraveling your patterns and building grounded, steady presence in your relationship, learn more about upcoming workshops and programs at:

davelishansky.com

Follow me @dave_lishansky

May this episode reveal the most important invitation in your life right now.

Relationships aren’t easy.

It’s easy to say that from the outside.

When you’re tired, misunderstood, and feeling like no matter what you do though… it’s not enough to just know that.

When conflict hits, most of us don’t consciously choose how we respond.
We defend.
We over-explain.
We push past our limits and pretend we’re fine.
We panic when she gets emotional.
We start seething when forgiveness doesn’t come fast enough.

And underneath all of it?

We just want relief.

We want her reassurance.
We want her to soften.
We want to feel safe again.

But here’s the shift:

If your focus is getting her forgiveness, you’re chasing emotional relief.

And relief doesn’t build intimacy.

Trust does.

—

If this resonates, share it with a man who’s trying to grow inside his relationship.

To go deeper into this work, explore coaching and programs at:
👉 https://davelishansky.com

May you get what you really need from your love.

What if the thing your relationship needs most… can’t happen inside the relationship itself?

In this episode, we'll explore the most important action we can all take right now — especially in a world that feels chaotic, polarized, and overwhelming.

This isn’t a silver bullet, but it is an invitation to understand the deeper relationship between love and growth — and why so many of us are panicking when solutions abound.

There is one simple truth underlying everything happening right now:

We can’t do the work this world requires of us alone.

If you’ve felt the urge to change…
If you’ve noticed the old strategies no longer work…
If something in you knows it’s time to gather rather than retreat…

This episode is for you.

Mentioned in this episode:

Visit davelishansky.com to join an upcoming workshop

Let's connect on Instagram: @dave_lishansky

May your courage reward you today.

Therapy is often talked about like a solution.

But therapy doesn’t fix you.
And it doesn’t do the work for you.

In this episode, I sat down with therapist Leila Gail to explore what therapy actually offers — and what it truly takes for real change to happen.

This conversation goes far beyond “should I go to therapy?” and into the deeper territory of growth, belonging, emotional responsibility, and relational healing.

Together, we unpack:

• Why therapy isn’t a cure-all — and why that’s actually good news

• What makes therapy effective (and why it sometimes isn’t)

• The role of courage, honesty, and accountability in personal growth

• Why we can’t fully heal relational wounds alone

• How early attachment wounds shape adult relationships

• The difference between insight and real change

• Why belonging and connection are essential for transformation

• The unique role of men’s communities in emotional growth

I'll also share some personal moments from my own therapy journey — including what it’s like to be called into places I would've rather avoided… and why that’s often where the real work begins.

If you’ve ever wondered whether therapy could help you, why it didn’t work before, or what growth really requires, this episode offers a grounded and compassionate perspective.

Leila is part of the Connected, Seen & Heard therapy collective, a group of clinicians dedicated to relational healing and meaningful growth.

Learn more here:
👉 https://connectedseenheard.com/

If this episode resonated and you’re looking for spaces to grow in community — especially with other men — I offers men’s groups and transformational programs focused on emotional leadership, relationships, and embodied growth.

Explore current offerings:
👉 https://davelishansky.com/

May your journey leave you ever stronger, wiser, and more present to the miracles life has to offer.

What if trust isn’t built through grand gestures—but through one small moment of honesty, again and again?

In this episode of Reclaiming the Gentle Man, we explore one of the most subtle—and damaging—ways trust erodes in relationships: saying “I’m fine” when you’re not.

Most of us don’t do this to intentionally deceive.

We do it to keep the peace.

To stay strong.

To avoid burdening the people they love.

But when your body says one thing and your words say another, your partner feels it—and over time, it costs you trust.

Resources & Support

We are not meant to process life in isolation—and independence, when taken too far, becomes disconnection.

If you need support you can:

Join the priority waitlist for upcoming men’s circles and courses at davelishansky.com

DM me on Instagram @dave_lishansky if you’re looking for a men’s group or women’s group outside my work—I’m happy to connect you

May you become ever more trustworthy.

Many men struggle to answer a deceptively simple question: What do you want?

In this episode, we explore how so many of us were raised with the “energy of not” — taught who not to be, what not to want, and how to stay small, agreeable, and unoffending.

Focusing on what we don’t want — to happen, to feel, to incite — shapes our relationships, erodes our agency, and leaves our partners feeling frustrated.

This one is an invitation for you to see that not knowing what you want isn’t a failure — it’s the threshold to something deeper.

Mentioned in this Episode:

Join the next Letting Love In free workshop — on Ending Defensiveness: https://www.davelishansky.com

Reclaiming the Gentle Man — 21-Day Transformational Program (Waitlist Open)

Sign up via the “Join Waitlist” button at https://www.davelishansky.com/waitlist

Monthly Men’s Circles (Launching 2026)

Details shared with RTGM participants first: https://www.davelishansky.com/waitlist

May simply asking the question begin to open up your next chapter.

We all have some kinds of relationship — partners, friends, colleagues — yet few are relationships where we can fully let our guard down without losing connection.

In this episode of Reclaiming the Gentle Man, we explore the kinds of relationships that allow you to resign your composure, express what’s actually happening inside you, and stay present while doing so.

We look at how emotional composure becomes armor, why that armor quietly drains energy and intimacy, and what it takes to intentionally cultivate spaces where honesty, messiness, and depth strengthen connection rather than threaten it.

Mentioned in this episode:

Reclaiming the Gentle Man — 21-Day Program (Waitlist Open)
A foundational, 21-day transformational experience for men who want greater emotional fluency, presence, and integrity in their relationships. This program is the gateway into my ongoing men’s work and private men’s community.
👉 Join the waitlist: https://www.davelishansky.com/waitlist

Letting Love In — Free Workshops
Powerful, experiential workshops for men ready to understand relationship patterns and reconnect with their inner life. You’ll also learn about how to access to the private men’s circle membership.
👉 Join the waitlist for the next workshop: https://davelishansky.com

May you revel in the resignation of a composure that no longer serves you.

Most men don’t choose isolation.
It happens quietly—inside commitment.

As relationships deepen, friendships often fade and community shrinks.
And before we realize it, our partner becomes the only place we go with our wins, our losses, our fear, our collapse.

That’s not romance.
That’s too much weight for one relationship to carry.

In this episode, I share the moment I stumbled my way into a men’s circle... and how it changed everything.

Because I needed a council.
A place where I could speak without being fixed.
Where I could fall apart without burdening my relationship.
Where other men were committed—not to advice—but to presence.

Your partner shouldn’t have to be your entire support system.
And you shouldn’t have to carry everything alone.

If you’ve ever felt lonely inside a committed relationship, this episode is for you.

Mentioned in This Episode

Reclaiming the Gentle Man — 21-Day Transformational Program for Men
A guided experience for men who want to understand their patterns, navigate conflict with more presence, and stop carrying everything alone.
✨ Usually $247 — available for $147 through 12/31
https://www.davelishansky.com/reclaiming-the-gentle-man-cart

Upcoming Monthly Men’s Group Membership
A structured, compassionate men’s circle designed to provide ongoing support, accountability, and brotherhood beyond your romantic relationship.
📩 Learn more or express interest: dave@davelishansky.com

May your council hold the weight you're tired of bearing alone.