Episodes

  • A Christmas Horror Story

    A Christmas Horror Story
    Dec 21 2021

    Christmas is right around the corner and boy do we have a fun OG episode for you! So, grab a big cup of hot chocolate, sprinkle in some booze and join us as we walk down memory lane and enjoy this holiday classic. 

     

    It's Week Three of our Holly Jolly Christmas Experience and we are definitely on an unforeseen uptick with this week's film, 2015's A Christmas Horror Story. 

    It's Christmas Eve and William Shatner (or as we like to call him, The Shat Shat, is pseudo narrating several vignettes around the fictional town of Bailey Downs and it looks like this holiday is gonna be anything but merry.    As we settle into this dark Christmas tale, we are given a treasure trove of gifts; a badass Santa, horned up, possessed teens, terrifying yet hilarious manger mannequins, lascivious changelings, the guy from Supernatural that played Death, a husband-and-wife duo we want to go to the gym with and an oddly bangable Krampus (one we may have to paperbag, but it's fine).   There is the great bathmat debate of 2020, reason 399 why Snowy should not be a parent, haunted house talk (spoiler alert, The Doctor isn't coming with), beanies versus toboggans, foul-mouthed zombie elves and you can forget an Irish goodbye because we're gonna teach you a Sensual Wine Goodbye.  All this and so much more on this week's Reel Fun Times. 
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    1 hr and 20 mins
  • Santa with Muscles

    Santa with Muscles
    Dec 14 2021
    This week we dust off another OG classic! So, grab a whole lot of eggnog, sit back and enjoy this holiday episode.      Wow, do we have a giant turd of a movie for you today. But let's not get ahead of ourselves.    This movie stars Hulk Hogan, a baby Mila Kunis, Don Stark, Ed Begley, Jr. and so many more familiar faces that can actually act, it's boggling that they signed up for this. The script is so nonsensical it's not worth the two-sentence recap to catch you up to speed.   We spy a poor man's John Bernthal, exclaim multiple times that "that's a guy," explain our grunting, find out The Doctor is renowned for her time telling skills, Snowy tells a tale of the worst Santa ever and we have a minor disagreement, Mall Mom or Elf Manager?   We meet the cheesiest motley crew of bad guys you've ever seen, there's concussions, wise guy elves, precocious orphans, another guy we know, catacombs, exploding gems and is that Edward Scissorhands yard?   Snowy reveals how she feels about these child actors and kids in general, The Doctor remains confused about what is happening, then there is an even bigger disagreement, Pervert Santa or people just trying to keep hope alive, you be the judge, and an RFT first! All this and so much more on this week's Reel Fun Times. 
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    1 hr and 36 mins
  • The Star Wars Holiday Special

    The Star Wars Holiday Special
    Dec 7 2021

    Ho Ho Ho Buddy Buddies, it's the most wonderful time of the year! This week we bring back a fan favorite from our OG files. Tis a holiday special unlike any other and a confusing entry to a beloved franchise. 

     

    In this week's episode, we will be discussing a film from a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away. The year was 1978 and the galaxy was the deranged mind of someone in Hollywood who thought this was a good idea. Oh yes, ready yourselves and take a big ol' shot or toke of whatever "force" can get you through it, because this week, we are talking "The Star Wars Holiday Special."   This film is pretty much your least favorite Wookie sitcom with individual scenes that are all about 90% longer than they should be, shot with the quality of... let's say your local furniture stores going out of business commercial and starring the original cast of Star Wars and a hodgepodge of 1978 celebrity du jours (or as decided by CBS).   Guys, this movie delivered everything we could have asked for in a bad holiday movie set in the backdrop of one of the most beloved franchises of all time. There were Cirque de Soleil holograms, lead characters named Itchy and Lumpy, Snowy discovers her favorite new YouTube channel, The Doctor reveals that she is fluent in Wookie, we get a glimpse into the world of VR Wookie porn and even a song by Bea Arthur can't save this ship from going down.    The Doctor is beguiled by a mini Jefferson Starship performance, we discover Chewy may be a deadbeat dad, none of the actors wanted to be there, Storm Troopers are dicks and Snowy is smitten with a young Mark Hamil's smokey eye lewk all while doing Chewbacca impressions as often as she can. All this and so much more on this week's Reel Fun Times. 

     
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    1 hr and 31 mins
  • ThanksKilling

    ThanksKilling
    Nov 30 2021

    It's our Thanksgiving episode and we bring tidings of good and bad cheer. Fortunately, we're publishing the episode as promised but unfortunately our beloved Snowy is down with the sickness and alas it's not the fun Disturbed kind(OOOHH AAHHH AAHHHH AAHH!) And so, while we wish her a speedy recovery it's up to the remaining members of the RFT team to pick up her mantle and forge ahead although we lack her gift of writing. 

     

    Join us as we cackle through this holiday "classic" boasting a hilariously inappropriate turkey, a ridiculous cast of "college" students, and even a cameo by "Lassie". All this and so much more, on this week's Reel Fun Times!
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    54 mins
  • Masters of the Universe

    Masters of the Universe
    Nov 16 2021

    It's a blast from the past and we are rereleasing episode #9 and man oh He-Man, what an episode it is! Let us treat you to the 1987 epic, Masters of the Universe.

    Dolph Lundgren and Frank Langella star in this highly contested 80's adventure, based on the action figures, NOT the cartoon. Much to our delight, we find this to be the Doctor's first ever viewing of this film, which is a treat in and of itself.    There are swords AND lasers, a hoard of Darth Vader robots, the manipulation of time and space, a questionable quartet of Eternia's meanest and baddest, a villain that would have perhaps been more at home on the Shakespearean stage than the halls of Castle Grayskull and a wee baby Courtney Cox!   The Doctor can barely contain her excitement at her first glimpse of He-Man, Snoelle really needs you to know that it's pronounced "Man-At-Arms," and we discover our Eternian counterparts. We are charmed by the antics and eye of Tiny Tawny, almost get real emotional about our parents, are most impressed by Evil-Lyn and Skeletor's verbal foreplay and introduce you to a guy we like to call, Orc Daddy. All this and so much more, on this week's Reel Fun Times!     
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    1 hr and 18 mins
  • Crank

    Crank
    Nov 9 2021
    It's already week two of November, and it's evident in the beginning of this episode we have no clue what month we're in. But let's focus on the movie at hand here, today's action packed, adrenaline fueled whirlwind of a film is 2006's "Crank."   Jason Statham is an assassin for hire and he's been pumped full of some drug that is gonna kill him unless he keeps his adrenaline a-going. And boy does he. Cue all the stereotypical bad guys, cute girlfriend, crazy soundtrack and more people sharing drugs than realistically possible.    This movie is such a good time y'all. There's Synthetic Chinese wonder drugs, Pedro enjoying the shit out of some tacos, Hiccups, a cool, calm and collected Dwight Yoakum, public sex and a trail of absolute destruction. In this episode, although Snowy starts it in a shit mood, we declare that RFT brings the fun, wonder how many gas station uppers before your heart explodes, acknowledge that this movie couldn't be made today, ogle a bangable Glen Howerton, The Doctor talks Bootleg movies and we make a pact. All this and so much more on this week's Reel Fun Times!!
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    59 mins
  • Minisode 13: The Baker‘s Dozen

    Minisode 13: The Baker‘s Dozen
    Nov 2 2021

    It's our 13th Minisode and we have three words for you... French. Murder. Pig... just listen and you'll find out all about it. 

    This week the Ladies of RFT are classically off-sync, discuss Squid Games (but no spoilers), layout our November plans, talk about our geriatric uteruses, implore you to not message D_rizzy420 and shoutout our awesome listeners worldwide! We learn that The Doctor isn't waiting on the Fugees and Snowy can't stop talking about her disdain for Chalamet. All this and so much more on this week's Reel Fun TImes! 
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    31 mins
  • Re-Animator

    Re-Animator
    Oct 26 2021
    How did we get to the last week of our Spooktastic Halloween Adventure so soon? This month has gone by at lightening speed but we are going out with a bang! From the man that brought you Society, Dolls AND Honey I Shrunk The Kids, it's time for the true gem that is, "Re-Animator!"   The low down and dirty... Herbert West is a fucking weirdo and the newest med student in town. He and his mysterious glowing green viles move in with our protagonist lite, whose blonde girlfriend doesn't approve. He starts bringing things back to life, pisses off real inapprops doctors and the hospital morgue has never been so lit.  This movie was truly a-head (some of you get it) of its time. On this week's episode we learn that the brain is so fast, have a small addendum from last week, the ladies enjoy a GOT moment and probably lose a few fans and the OG listeners enjoy a very deep cut. We discover the set had its very own Dildo Fairy, how to flex with a number 2 pencil, all the possibilities of a Bonesaw and blonde girl performs a classic cat call. Speaking of, there's dead cats in the fridge, Arnold's body double, a very Elizabeth Bathory moment, disturbing files, decapitation, Boudoir Magazine Bathroom breaks, undead schlongs and a gross fondling and an oral moment so hardcore the actors wife left him (or so the rumor goes.) All this and so much more on this week's Reel Fun Times!!
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    1 hr and 2 mins