In this episode, Alveena shares the quiet moment she emotionally checked out, not out of anger but exhaustion. She reflects on the psychology behind letting go, exploring how anxious attachment, fear of abandonment and the urge to control outcomes show up in our relationships, our parenting and our faith.

Drawing from attachment theory, cognitive diffusion and spiritual teachings, she explains how releasing control is not giving up. It is reclaiming peace. Through personal reflection, psychology and faith, Alveena shows how letting people think what they want and choosing your own response can bring you back to yourself.

This episode is for anyone who overexplains, over functions or carries the emotional weight of trying to be understood.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Emotional checking out is often a protective response, not drama.
  
  
• Anxious attachment forms from unpredictability, shaping adult fears of abandonment and overexplaining.
  
  
• Control becomes a survival strategy when we feel responsible for every outcome.
  
  
• Faith teaches balance. Do your part, then surrender what is not yours to manage.
  
  
• Letting go is what creates the mental space needed for creativity, healing and growth.
  
  
• In parenting, hovering can inhibit resilience and accountability.
  
  
• The Release and Reclaim framework helps redirect energy inward instead of outward.
  
  

BEST MOMENTS

“I stopped explaining myself. I stopped defending myself. I was done.”

“You do not control the perception. You only control your response.”

“Anxious attachment is not clinginess. It is a survival strategy.”

“Do your part. Tie your camel. But do not try to control what is not yours.”

“Letting go brought me back to myself. Suddenly there was space again.”

“Control is not love. Sometimes trust means letting people misunderstand you.”

LINKS

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alveena-salim-a98abb49/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/withalveena/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@withAlveena

ABOUT THE HOST

Alveena is a psychology MSc student, writer and seeker exploring the intersection of mental health, psychology and Islamic spirituality. Her work blends academic insight with lived experience to explore identity, belonging and healing. Through her writing and podcast, she shares personal reflections that bridge science and spirituality, encouraging honest self inquiry and wholehearted living. Grounded yet introspective, she invites others to slow down, reflect and reconnect with who they truly are.

Thank you for listening. If something in an episode touched you, made you think, or just hit different… I’d love to hear it. Alveena

ABOUT THE EPISODE

In this episode, Alveena reflects on the true story of The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog by Dr. Bruce Perry and the powerful lesson it carries about how our environment shapes the brain.

Through the story of a neglected child who learned to heal through love, presence, and stability, Alveena explores how trauma can be reversed when safety and care are reintroduced. She connects these insights to psychology, faith, and parenting, showing how our surroundings influence not just who we become but how our brains develop.

This episode is for anyone interested in psychology and trauma, faith and healing, or understanding how emotional environments shape mental health and relationships.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Healing starts with environment; safety, consistency, and presence allow the brain to rewire.
  
  
• Relational poverty is a lack of stable love and connection, not a lack of material comfort.
  
  
• Children learn emotional regulation by being in calm, consistent environments, not through rules.
  
  
• Emotional regulation begins with the parent; the tone of the home sets the foundation for growth.
  
  
• Small shifts like setting boundaries or changing your space can start emotional healing.
  
  
• Love and predictability are medicine for the nervous system.

BEST MOMENTS

"Doctor Perry didn’t see a broken brain. He saw a neglected one."

"A child can grow up in a mansion and still be relationally starved if they don’t experience consistent love, presence, or emotional regulation."

"You don’t teach emotional regulation. You create the conditions where regulation is possible."

"Children don’t need fixing. It’s the environment that needs to change."

"Trauma can be reversed. Brains can rewire. Love, safety, and predictable routines are medicine."

LINKS

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alveena-salim-a98abb49/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/withalveena/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@withAlveena

ABOUT THE HOST

Alveena is a psychology MSc student, writer, and seeker exploring the intersection of mental health, psychology, and Islamic spirituality.

Her work blends academic insight with lived experience, drawing from her background in teaching, therapy, and faith to explore identity, belonging, and healing.

Through her writing and podcast, she shares deeply personal reflections that bridge science and spirituality, encouraging honest self inquiry and wholehearted living.

Grounded yet introspective, Alveena invites others to slow down, reflect, and reconnect with who they truly are.

Thank you for listening. If something in an episode touched you, made you think, or just hit different… I’d love to hear it. Alveena

ABOUT THE EPISODE

In this episode, Alveena unpacks the psychology of echoism, the tendency to shrink, stay quiet, and put others’ needs above your own.

She shares her experiences growing up between cultures, learning to make herself smaller to avoid judgment or conflict, and how that pattern showed up later in adult life. Through psychology, faith, and personal reflection, she explores how saying “I’m fine” when you’re not can slowly erase your voice and identity.

This episode is for anyone who struggles with people pleasing, setting boundaries, or finding their voice after years of silence.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Echoism is the opposite of narcissism; it’s when you erase your own needs to avoid being a burden.
  
  
• Shrinking yourself to keep the peace isn’t humility, it’s self abandonment.
  
  
• Our worth is inherent and doesn’t depend on being small or silent.
  
  
• Healing echoism means recognising when you say “it’s fine” just to stay comfortable.
  
  
• Speaking your truth doesn’t make you unkind, it makes you whole.
  
  
• The Echo Breaker Framework helps you break the pattern by noticing, saying, and standing in your truth.

BEST MOMENTS

"I felt like I was failing at being a good Pakistani, but at the same time I didn’t quite fit into the Western world either."

"It wasn’t the henna I was ashamed of. It was myself, imagining how everyone else saw me."

"When narcissists centre their needs at the cost of others, echoists erase theirs completely."

"Shrinking yourself doesn’t make you virtuous. Honouring your voice is part of your spiritual dignity."

"You don’t have to change yourself to fit what everyone expects. You’re already enough."

LINKS

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alveena-salim-a98abb49/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/withalveena/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@withAlveena

ABOUT THE HOST

Alveena is a psychology MSc student, writer, and seeker exploring the intersection of mental health, psychology, and Islamic spirituality.

Her work blends academic insight with lived experience, drawing from her background in teaching, therapy, and faith to explore identity, belonging, and healing.

Through her writing and podcast, she shares deeply personal reflections that bridge science and spirituality, encouraging honest self inquiry and wholehearted living.

Grounded yet introspective, Alveena invites others to slow down, reflect, and reconnect with who they truly are.

Thank you for listening. If something in an episode touched you, made you think, or just hit different… I’d love to hear it. Alveena