• 75. We care for everyone else at our own expense with Claire Stephensen
    Jun 21 2026
    We care for everyone else at our own expense.


    Have you ever felt let down by care? Like you don't quite get the care you need? Like there isn't enough to go around? and Like the whole self-care thing just puts more work on your plate?



    In this episode Claire and I explore:

    -her concept of "shame of care," how traditional care approaches can be damaging when they rely on authority-based methods which dismiss patients' experiences

    -harmful cultural experiences and trauma that can occur in various systems including families, schools, and healthcare

    -Claire's approach of breaking down care into six skills or practices that address both micro-level self-care and macro-level aspects of care

    -how early experiences with care from family and culture influence self-care patterns and the importance of honoring individual pace

    -the benefits and pitfalls of self-care practices, emphasizing the importance of practicing them in relationship with others rather than in isolation

    -societal expectations and gender roles that create unnecessary burdens, particularly for women who are conditioned to take on more responsibilities


    Ahh, there is actually so much here.


    Claire and I also invite you to share your story of care with us. This feels like a really great place to start to unpack your relationship with care.

    Feel free to email me at nicolemathiesontherapy@outlook.com.


    Please share this episode with anybody you know who is challenged by feeling under resourced. The more we realise we are not alone in feeling these ways, the more we can heal.


    You can watch this chat on Youtube if you prefer to see us....


    Find out more


    Claire Stephensen


    Website: careweaver.com.au

    Instagram: @claire.stephensen



    Nicole Mathieson


    This podcast was created by Nicole Mathieson, a Brisbane based counsellor and couple therapist, who has a couple of podcasts and is the author of The Beauty Load, How to feel enough in a world obsessed with beauty.

    Nicole helps men, women and couples get smarter, happier and more connected in their intimate relationships and has various online courses and resources to support people navigating the tricky realm of relationships.

    @relationship_smart_with_nicole

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Show More Show Less
    1 hr and 7 mins
  • 74. The highs and lows of loving someone on the spectrum
    May 29 2026
    There are attachment and relational impacts of loving humans on the spectrum


    In this episode I share:


    -my personal journey of living with and loving humans ont he spectrum

    -I explore the challenges and the flip side - the gifts that come from those challenges

    -I explore the benefits and positives of loving someone on the spectrum

    -I outline the best ways that I have found to accomodate and bring out the best in your AS loved ones


    Please share this episode with anybody you know who is challenged or confused by their AS relationship. The more we explore and learn, the more things make sense and feel easier.


    Nicole Mathieson


    This podcast was created by Nicole Mathieson, a Brisbane based counsellor and couple therapist, who has a couple of podcasts and is the author of The Beauty Load, How to feel enough in a world obsessed with beauty.

    Nicole helps men, women and couples get smarter, happier and more connected in their intimate relationships and has various online courses and resources to support people navigating the tricky realm of relationships.

    @relationship_smart_with_nicole

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Show More Show Less
    44 mins
  • 73. Healing complex trauma in relationships with Dr Zoe Vilenica
    Apr 20 2026
    In this episode I speak to Dr Zoe Vilenica, trauma specialist and somatic practice therapist.


    This episode comes with a trigger warning as we will be exploring complex trauma and childhood sexual trauma.


    I will be asking Zoe to help us understand how trauma shows up in relationships and how it gets healed.


    We explore:


    • The difference between PTSD, complex trauma and childhood sexual trauma
    • How trauma shows up in relationship
    • How trauma impacts people and how/ where it impact relationships
    • The difference between childhood sexual trauma and sexual trauma as an older person
    • How the overlay of relationships and attachment impacts the relational and nervous system
    • How can a partner best support and respond to trauma for healing
    • How we heal from trauma





    To connect with Dr Zoe check out:


    Website: www.posttraumaticpeace.com


    Instagram: @posttraumaticpeace




    Nicole Mathieson


    This podcast was created by Nicole Mathieson, a Brisbane based counsellor and couple therapist, who has a couple of podcasts and is the author of The Beauty Load, How to feel enough in a world obsessed with beauty.

    Nicole helps men, women and couples get smarter, happier and more connected in their intimate relationships and has various online courses and resources to support people navigating the tricky realm of relationships.

    @relationship_smart_with_nicole

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Show More Show Less
    1 hr and 20 mins
  • 72. How defensiveness creates disconnect - the difference between intent and impact
    Mar 12 2026
    How Defensiveness Damages Intimacy (And What To Do Instead)
    Intent vs Impact in Relationships: Why Good Intentions Aren’t Enough

    Most partners are not trying to hurt each other.

    But here’s the truth:

    Good intent does not cancel out harmful impact.


    Join me as we unpack what is going on and how best to explain, unpack and move forward from this sticky place.


    Nicole Mathieson


    This podcast was created by Nicole Mathieson, a Brisbane based counsellor and couple therapist, who has a couple of podcasts and is the author of The Beauty Load, How to feel enough in a world obsessed with beauty.

    Nicole helps men, women and couples get smarter, happier and more connected in their intimate relationships and has various online courses and resources to support people navigating the tricky realm of relationships.

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Show More Show Less
    20 mins
  • 71. Understanding the stories we tell ourselves about our relationships with Dr Di Harner
    Mar 6 2026
    In this episode I speak to my colleague Dr Diane Harner, neuroscientist, counsellor and business coach.


    Together we explore how an understanding of neuroscience can inform us to get smarter in relationships particularly in terms of the stories we tell ourselves.


    We explore:

    -how attachment experiences in childhood shape adult relationships

    -how attunement and reciprocity as key factors in attachment

    -the characteristics of anxious, avoidant, and disorganized attachment styles, highlighting how early experiences shape these patterns

    -how maintaining curiosity has a real benefit especially in relationships

    -the potential dangers of overconfidence in one's thinking.

    -the importance of self-awareness and metacognition in understanding and improving self-esteem

    -the functions of three brain networks: the Executive Network, the Default Mode Network and Salience Network

    -and finally Diane gives us tips on how to manage negative thought patterns


    To connect with Diane check out her websites


    For Public speaking and coaching - https://www.clevermindsconsulting.com.au/

    For counselling - https://www.drdianeharner.com.au/


    Nicole Mathieson


    This podcast was created by Nicole Mathieson, a Brisbane based counsellor and couple therapist, who has a couple of podcasts and is the author of The Beauty Load, How to feel enough in a world obsessed with beauty.

    Nicole helps men, women and couples get smarter, happier and more connected in their intimate relationships and has various online courses and resources to support people navigating the tricky realm of relationships.

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Show More Show Less
    1 hr and 14 mins
  • 70. How to understand our Love Blueprints and find relationship peace with Heidi Louise
    Feb 16 2026

    Join me and my guest Heid Louise as we discuss her book The Love Blueprint.


    You can find out more about Heid here, and get a copy of her book here, or on audio here.


    Heidi is a Brisbane based Psychotherapist who works from a holistic and trauma informed framework. She is an experienced and qualified Psychotherapist, an Accredited Mental Health Social Worker (AMHSW), a Lvl 3 Gottman Couples therapist and a Lvl 2 (IFS) Internal Family Systems Therapist



    In our chat we focused on understanding Love Blueprints which is the theme of Heidi's new book. we discuss;


    • the various therapeutic approaches including IFS, Gottman, and Polyvagal theory to provide a comprehensive guide to understanding relationship patterns and personal development
    • the concept of the "Love Blueprint," which refers to our early experiences and how they shape our understanding of love and relationships
    • the challenges couples face when their love blueprints and coping strategies clash, highlighting the role of therapy in providing gentle guidance and support.
    • the importance of understanding and compassion in relationships
    • the concept of triggers as flag posts for deeper healing and understanding in relationships
    • how joy can be challenging for individuals due to past experiences
    • And finally, Heidi's definition of secure love which is, after all, what we all are truly craving in relationship


    Enjoy



    Nicole Mathieson


    This podcast was created by Nicole Mathieson, a Brisbane based counsellor and couple therapist, who has a couple of podcasts and is the author of The Beauty Load, How to feel enough in a world obsessed with beauty.

    Nicole helps men, women and couples get smarter, happier and more connected in their intimate relationships and has various online courses and resources to support people navigating the tricky realm of relationships.


    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Show More Show Less
    51 mins
  • 69. Exploring Neurodivergence in Relationship
    Dec 3 2025


    Join my guest Helen Sheehy and I as we explore neurodiversity in the realm of relationships


    You can find Helen at neurodivergence.live here and you buy her book Moving Forwards, Working Backwards here too.


    In this episode we explore:

    • What a strengths based approach to Neurodivergence is
    • Why Helen has changed the abbreviations from ADHD and ASD
    • Why being diagnosed can be beneficial - I share my personal experience of this
    • The complexity and challenges of ADH /AS combo relationships
    • Why AS and ADH seem to attract each other in intimate relationships
    • Helens' top tips for being in ND relationships


    Enjoy



    Nicole Mathieson


    This podcast was created by Nicole Mathieson, a Brisbane based counsellor and couple therapist, who has a couple of podcasts and is the author of The Beauty Load, How to feel enough in a world obsessed with beauty.

    Nicole helps men, women and couples get smarter, happier and more connected in their intimate relationships.

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Show More Show Less
    57 mins
  • 68. Same event, different story, Bridging the gap of your different view points
    Nov 19 2025

    Two people can go through the same event and walk away with different stories about what happened.


    That’s right — same event, different story. And those different interpretations can quietly shape how we feel about each other, how safe we feel in our relationships, and even how much love we’re able to express.


    In this episode I talk about where we go wrong and what we can do to bridge the gap of disconnect, switch focus, stop arguing about our different versions and come back into connection.


    In this episode we look at:

    • There’s Truth on Both Sides
    • Nowhere Is This More Polarising Than in the Bedroom
    • Memory: Is not to be trusted
    • The 3 Stances That Keep Us Stuck
    • How to Improve Your Relationship — Bridging the Gap
    • Seeing Things Differently Can Be a Strength


    Nicole Mathieson


    This podcast was created by Nicole Mathieson, a Brisbane based counsellor and couple therapist, who has a couple of podcasts and is the author of The Beauty Load, How to feel enough in a world obsessed with beauty.

    Nicole helps men, women and couples get smarter, happier and more connected in their intimate relationships.


    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Show More Show Less
    23 mins