Do you think you are a good communicator?

I've observed ove the past year that most of us think we're great at communicating when, in reality, we struggle!

Because effective communication is not just about speaking your mind; it's about inspiring and connecting with others.

So many of us are stuck in the outdated communication styles we learned in our youth, and in this episode, I walk you through what it looks like to truly communicate well as we head into a new year.

Learn more about my communication coaching at https://michaelashford.com.

In this episode, I explore the nuance and complexity involved in trying to answer the question: Who should lead the way into difficult conversations?

What about in the face of moral exclusion? What about if the other party denies your humanity? What if you are the victim?

This episode was inspired by a recent LinkedIn post I made on which Brené Brown commented, and the whirwind that followed. You can view the post here: https://www.linkedin.com/posts/michaeldashford_i-deeply-want-to-ask-bren%C3%A9-brown-one-question-activity-7391892434491846656-99PB

In this conversation, Emily Kasriel — author of the book, "Deep Listening: Transform your relationships with family, friends, and foes" — discusses the concept of deep listening, emphasizing its transformative power and the courage it requires.

Emily has had a two-decades-long career at the BBC as an award-winning journalist, and she shares her journey from being a transactional listener to embracing deep listening, highlighting its effect on her personal relationships and professional environments.

Our discussion covers the importance of creating safe spaces for listening, the role of silence, and the challenges posed by power dynamics. Emily also details the outcomes of deep listening, including fostering connection and understanding in a polarized society, and the ethical considerations involved in listening.

You can learn more about Emily and her work at https://www.emilykasriel.com/.

To learn more about my speaking and leadership communication coaching, visit my website at https://michaelashford.com.

So much of conversation is about understanding context.

From determining which conversations and relationships are worth engaging in to understanding the alignment in values to solving conflict, if you don't pick up on the context, you might create problems.

As you'll hear from my guest in this episode, John Wang, culture also provides context clues, which he discusses in his new book, Big Asian Energy, and on his podcast.

Often, John explains, the most important context comes from conversations you have with yourself first before you seek to engage with and understand others. This can make all the difference in communicating across differences and divides.

You can order John's book at https://www.amazon.com/Big-Asian-Energy-Unapologetic-Leadership/dp/0593475437

Check out John's work at https://www.bigasianenergy.com/.

This episode's content comes from a webinar I delivered earlier this year titled, "You Want Me To Talk To Them? How To Communicate With People You Disagree With."

In this presentation, I walk through what we get wrong about conflict communication and how conversations get stuck. I also cover a new way to approach uncomfortable conversations, my ASK then SEE method, which can help us lower the temperature of heated discussions.

Looking for a presenter or keynote speaker at your next event? Learn more about my speaking at https://michaelashford.com/speaking.

I had the joy of joining Rick Barron on his "That's Life, I Swear" podcast for a conversation about… well... conversation. More specifically, how we can communicate better with each other when conflict arises.

Even though I was the guest, Rick told a story about him and his neighbor that is the perfect example of what I mean when I ask that you set aside your certainty and what you think you know about others and instead follow your curiosity.

We've been taught that when faced with disagreement, once you get a chance to speak, go on the offensive and don't back down.

However, one conversation I had recently revealed a far better and more productive approach — one that emphasizes asking questions beyond the point of your own comfort.

Humans were not designed to know all that we know, and it's crushing our ability to communicate well with each other and affect positive change.