Episodes

  • Path to Reducing Suffering: Suffering Series Part Four of Four

    Path to Reducing Suffering: Suffering Series Part Four of Four
    Aug 29 2022
    The Journey We Are OnIn week one, we realized we suffer and categorized the basic suffering we experience, in episode two we realized that most if not all suffering comes from wanting, and in episode three we discussed that we don't have to suffer if we take the right actions. Today we are going to finish the series by discussing the eight areas to focus on to make progress on eliminating our suffering. "What nourishes joy in me? What nourishes joy in others? Do I nourish joy in myself and others enough? - Thich Nhat Hanh As we get into the episode, my compassionate recommendation is that you keep an open mind, not comparing what you hear with your existing thoughts and ideas. Listen to your intuition to see if this message resonates with you. Let's start with a short three-minute meditation to clear our mind. Breathe deeply in through your nose, and exhale completely out through your mouth. After five breaths, return your breathing to normal and close your eyes if it is safe, and you feel comfortable doing so, continue focusing on your breath for a couple of minutes. The Path to Eliminate SufferingI like to think of my mind as an endless table full of beakers, when I wake up the beakers are mostly empty, unless I have carried over something from the previous day. As the day goes by, I fill the beakers with different liquids. Some of the beakers have joy, or happiness, some have stress, or frustrations. It isn't enough to just notice what each container holds, I need to analyze the qualities of the contents to understand them, in understanding I can do something about the contents, hopefully what I am doing is figuring out how to live life to keep my happy containers full and my containers for stress, anger, frustration, and suffering empty. I can't just move the containers I don't like away; I must look at them, understand them, and embrace them with compassion for myself for the experience of the beaker. This will enable me to empty some or all the contents of the container. I also must look at the joyful beakers to understand what it is that truly brings me joy and why, so I can do more of those things. An example from my life: This week I had to take my daughter to school for the first time this year. She is at a different school, so I found the trip to be stressful. I saw that I filled a beaker with stress, but why, what comprised the contents of the beaker? I clearly saw the suffering in the stress, which correlates to episode one. I had to look at my stress, what were the contents of the beaker? In this example, unfamiliarity with the route and traffic patterns, which lane to be in. I was worried about her being late, and missing part of class or disrupting a class already in session. The reality was she would be on time or late, and it was too late to influence the outcome. I took some deep breaths, changed the station to more relaxing music, and did my best to drive mindfully and arrive safely. In understanding the truth of the reality, I was able to pour out some of the stress, I would like to say I was able to dump it all out, but I wasn't successful, however, I did reduce the stress keeping it from boiling over into anger or other destructive emotions. By taking a deep breath and listening to calming music I started filling another beaker with calm and peace. When I feel calm and at peace that nourishes joy in me. This situation could have been filled with suffering for me and my daughter, and potentially for others around me had I not driven considerately with mindfulness. My actions send out ripples, whether I want them to or not. This can be joy or suffering to those around me. Because I was able to see my suffering as it arose, I was able to do something, I reduced it and brought about wellbeing at the same time. I have alluded to parts of the path to reduce suffering so far, and now it is time to explicitly discuss the eight areas to focus on in ending our suffering. I have been forthcoming that...
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    49 mins
  • Path to Reducing Suffering: Suffering Series Part Three of Four

    Path to Reducing Suffering: Suffering Series Part Three of Four
    Aug 22 2022
    Being Present?Last week I left you with the strategy of being more present in the moment so you can detect when the origination of wants happen. If you find this difficult you are not alone. Good news though, today we are going to look at this closer so we can understand what we need to do to make the task easier! If you didn't tune in to the previous two episodes, I highly recommend you go back and take a listen before finishing this episode. To recap last week's episode, there are three main causes of our suffering. A want of sense of pleasure, wealth, power, opinions, and beliefs in relation to the world around us. A want of a certain existence or becoming a certain way. A want for an end to suffering and pain. Did you see the three items all contained the word want? Our suffering is rooted in wanting! "Letting go of our suffering is the hardest work we will ever do." ~ Gautama Buddha As we get into the episode, my compassionate recommendation is that you keep an open mind, not comparing what you hear with your existing thoughts and ideas. Listen to your intuition to see if this message resonates with you. Let's start with a short three-minute meditation to clear our mind. Breathe deeply in through your nose, and exhale completely out through your mouth. After five breaths, return your breathing to normal and close your eyes if it is safe, and you feel comfortable doing so, continue focusing on your breath for a couple of minutes. The Cessation of SufferingHow do we cease our suffering? Primarily, we need to learn to be present, mindful in each moment. Only in being mindful can we see wanting trying to come into being. If we aren't present in the moment, we can't see and feel how the content we are consuming affects us and we won't notice the small joys in life. To not suffer, we must not want, last week I mentioned how hard it is to not want in our society. Everywhere we go someone is selling something, most media sources are filled with ads, and commercials, there are always new and trendy thing on display by the multitude of "influencers", and science has given the information to marketers to help them trigger us into wanting what they are selling. We want people and relationships to be a certain way. We want our lives to be a certain way, we look at our friend's social media posts and wish our lives were like theirs, not realizing what we are seeing is a not a full spectrum look into their life, it is a snapshot into a moment that can be exaggerated. No one's lives are perfect, not mine, not yours, and the grass is not always greener on the other side. Fear of missing out is real and it hurts us by introducing wants. For all the doom and gloom, I just spread, there is hope for a better now! Living in the moment is cliche, but true. The past is done, and the future isn't here yet. Be the only place you can be, is right here and right now. This doesn't mean you can't plan, but when it is time to plan, that is when you do your planning and thinking ahead. None of this is easy, we have a lifetime of practice letting our minds wander all over the place, based on the whims of the world around us and what we want. We focus on the past, our wants, the future, we are anxious, depressed, scared, tired, but we don't have to be. What we need is to be mindful and in the present moment. We must practice and train our minds to overcome a lifetime of training in being anywhere but the present. The simplest way to do this is to meditate. There is unmistakable evidence from studies of the benefits of meditating, such as growth of our prefrontal cortex, increased energy, reduced stress, and anxiety. Depending on where you are listening there is a link that includes many studies If you scroll to the bottom. If you are in doubt about the validity and benefits of meditation, I compassionately recommend reviewing some of the studies at your leisure. So, find time in your day to meditate, do it whenever you can,...
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    33 mins
  • Path to Reducing Suffering: Suffering Series Part Two of Four

    Path to Reducing Suffering: Suffering Series Part Two of Four
    Aug 15 2022
    IntroductionIn last week's episode we discussed the three kinds of suffering. The suffering of suffering, we experience things that happen to us, getting hit by a rock, the resulting anger, and other harmful emotions. Then there is the suffering of change, going from healthy to unhealthy, or healthy to sick, the flow of aging, and death, and relationship changes, etc. And finally, suffering of conditioned states or composite things, all things that come together come apart. This includes the five elements that contain everything, both inside and outside of us. Matter, sensations, perceptions, mental formations, and consciousness. This is a basic chain, Matter includes everything outside of us and our physical self, which is sensed through our six sensing organs, eyes, ears, nose, tongue, skin, and brain. If you haven't listened to last week's episode, I highly recommend you give it a quick listen before continuing this episode. "If your desires are not great, a little will seem much to you; for small appetite makes poverty equivalent to wealth." ~ Democritus This week we are going to discuss the causes of suffering, which is driven by wants, so let's dive in as soon as we take a few cleansing breaths. Breathe deeply in through your nose, and exhale completely out through your mouth. After five breaths, return your breathing to normal and close your eyes if it is safe, and you feel comfortable doing so, continue focusing on your breath for a couple of minutes. As always, my compassionate advice is that you keep an open mind, not comparing what you hear with your existing thoughts and ideas. Listen to your gut and intuition to see if this message resonates with you. Fun fact, your gut contains five hundred million neurons that are connected to your brain through the vargus nerve. So, when I say to follow your gut and intuition this is based on science, which is why this is a solid way to consume new data and experiences. The Causes of SufferingI believe all our suffering can be broken down into three causes. A craving, thirst, or want of sense pleasures, wealth, power, this includes our opinions and beliefs in relation to the world around us. I can want for anything, comfort, money, material things or life states that agree with my opinions and beliefs. So many of humankind's struggles originate with this want, often strongly entwined with greed and ego. If our opinions and beliefs contain hatred or aversion, we want for existence in a certain way that will negatively impact that which we hate or are averse to as well as consuming us from within. A craving, thirst, or want of existence or becoming a certain way. If I desire a certain lifestyle, way of living, or basic existence, I am not appreciating where I am, I am fixated on a fictional future that may never come to be and one that may not be any better than the one I am in and might even be worse. If I achieve a state of existence I enjoy, it will not last. From moment to moment we change, life itself is flow, life is change. Our desires for our existence may be based on ignorance, we may desire something that we think is good for us when it is not good for us! A craving, thirst, or want for an end to suffering and pain. Who doesn't want an end to suffering and pain? If I want nothing but my physical pain to end, I suffer because it can't be wiped away, so I suffer twice! That desire for cessation has caused me much extra suffering in the past, and occasionally still does, but not to the extent it did, so I can say with certainty that we can reduce our suffering! Central to these causes of pain are several conditions that exist within us. Greed or Attachment, which fuels our desires. Ignorance, which blocks us from seeing the truth of situations and the realities around us, and the truths that can help us reduce or eliminate suffering. Then there is hatred and aversion that causes us and the world much pain and suffering! When we discussed...
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    34 mins
  • Path to Reducing Suffering: Suffering Series Part One of Four

    Path to Reducing Suffering: Suffering Series Part One of Four
    Aug 8 2022
    Kinds of Suffering: Part One of Four Part one of a series of four discussions on Suffering leading up to proven ways to reduce pain in our lives.  Intro  “If you do not get what you want, you suffer; if you get what you do not want, you suffer; even when you get exactly what you want, you still suffer because you cannot hold on to it forever. Your mind is your predicament. It wants to be free of change. Free of pain, free of the obligations of life and death. But change is law, and no amount of pretending will alter that reality.” (“Quote by Socrates: “If you don't get what you want, you ... - Goodreads”)   Today's episode is a primer on the kinds of suffering we experience. We cannot address suffering in our life properly if we do not understand the kinds of suffering that we experience.  Concepts Central to This Cast  Socrates was known, not for lecturing to share knowledge but for asking questions to pull out knowledge from the questionee. Which begs the question, where does this understanding come from if it is not explicitly expressed to us?  Various philosophies and philosophers such as Plato and Descartes believed we have innate knowledge at birth. The concept was we have all knowledge within us and just need a skillful teacher to ask the correct questions to draw out innate understanding!  There are scientific evidence around Neural networks existing at birth that hold innate knowledge according to a study from Netherlands Institute for Neuroscience, in Amsterdam.   There is also an interesting discourse on the Stanford Philosophy website entitled, Innateness and Contemporary Theories of Cognition that covers innatism verses empiricism over the ages. Links to both will be provided in the podcast episode.  I come down on the side of innateness, there are too many times in life when we just know something to be truth, where we know something to be good or bad, without needing to be told.  The reason this is central to our discussion today and really for anything you hear is that I nor any teacher can give you truth, your truth is inside you, so, my compassionate recommendation is to be open and not compare newly consumed content and ideas to what you already know. When you are open and go with your gut, instincts, or innate knowledge, that is when true understanding can happen between people. Also, personal evolution and growth is helped with fully experiencing ideas.  Let us take a few cleansing breaths, breathing in for a count of three and out for a count of five.  Example of Suffering  There are so many stories each of us have about suffering! For the longest time, I experienced suffering without contemplating pain and suffering for what it is, I and many of us try to ignore, or run from our suffering because pain is uncomfortable. Today we are going to focus on the kinds of suffering that exist in our life to have a collective understanding that will enable future discussions on how to recognize and alleviate suffering in our lives.   I recently watched a Ted Talk by Yoav Asa who suffered a near death experience, I encourage you to watch the full video, (link provided in the podcast episode) the story and emotions were moving for me. In short, he talked about the experience, his recovery, and the difficulties he faced. He had three takeaways from his experience.  The best way to learn something is to teach it to others and lead a life of example. (My motivation to podcast)  We should focus on our responsibilities to life and our ability to respond to life and its suffering.  When we are worried about ourselves, we lead ourselves into a world of suffering! We need to take care of others and that leads to freedom!  I commend his ability to recognize his suffering, exploring it finding truths in his experience! The taking care of others he discusses that kindness and compassion we...
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    31 mins