How shame, withdrawal, and approval-based parenting quietly affect self-worth.

Have you ever found yourself saying things like, "I'm disappointed in you," giving your child the silent treatment after a difficult moment, or withholding affection until they apologized or behaved differently?

Most parents have.

Not because we don't love our children.

But because many of us were raised with the belief that approval, affection, and connection should be earned.

And without realizing it, we can sometimes pass those same messages on to our own kids.

In this episode of the Raising Eyebrows Miniseries, Celia Kibler and Dr. Kailey Buller explore one of the most common and often unintentional parenting mistakes: conditional love.

Because every child needs guidance, accountability, and boundaries.

But they also need to know that their worth is never tied to their behavior, achievements, mistakes, or ability to meet our expectations.

In this honest and thought-provoking conversation, Celia and Dr. Kailey unpack how shame, withdrawal, criticism, and approval-based parenting can quietly shape a child's sense of self. They also discuss what it looks like to hold children accountable while still communicating unconditional love, safety, and belonging.

In this episode, you'll hear:

• What conditional love looks like in everyday parenting moments
• How shame differs from healthy accountability and discipline
• Why children need to feel loved even when their behavior needs correcting
• The lasting impact of approval-based parenting on confidence and self-worth
• How withdrawal, criticism, and emotional distance can affect parent-child relationships
• Why mistakes are opportunities for learning—not evidence of a child's value
• Practical ways to set boundaries without using shame or guilt
• How to build stronger emotional safety and connection within your family

One of the most powerful reminders in this episode:

A child's behavior may need correction, but their worth never does.

That doesn't mean there should be no consequences.

It doesn't mean lowering expectations.

And it definitely doesn't mean letting children do whatever they want.

It means separating who your child is from what your child does.

Because children who know they are loved even when they struggle, fail, or make mistakes develop the confidence to learn, grow, and take responsibility for their actions.

And children who feel emotionally safe are far more likely to come to us when they need support the most.

If you've ever wondered whether your discipline approach is building connection or creating distance, or if you're trying to break parenting patterns you experienced growing up, this episode offers practical insights and compassionate reminders that can help you parent with greater clarity and confidence.

Tune in to this episode of Raising Eyebrows your weekly dose of sanity in a world full of parenting noise.

We're so glad you're here.

To stay connected with Celia Kibler, follow @beabetterparentdotcom and explore more support through the Be A Better Parent Skool community at skool.com/beabetterparent.

You can also connect with Dr. Kailey Buller at @vitalswithdrbuller for thoughtful, evidence-based support around motherhood, family health, and raising children with confidence.

And if you want parenting support right when real life is happening, be sure to download the Be A Better Parent app. It offers on-demand guidance, practical tools, and real-time support to help you respond with more calm, clarity, and confidence right when you need it most.